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platypus77

platypus77

Experienced
Dec 11, 2024
279
Id also add Arthur Schopenhauer. On the Sufferings of the World and On Suicide were very helpful for me. I do not understand why he is considered to be a downer or giving up.
Mostly due to misinterpretation as I'd like to believe, Schopenhauer would see "I have to keep living" as the understanding of life as a constant battle against despair and by choosing to let go from the things that only increases ones' suffering like "hatred". Why persist? This world offers nothing but suffering. True freedom is in letting go.

Nietzsche (whom I haven't read) was inspired by him I believe (think they have converged at points but again I'm not as familiar.)
His philosophy was heavily based on Schopenhauer's. Nietzche loved to hate him, they diverged greatly but as people say – Without Schopenhauer there would be no Nietzche.

"I can't let the world see that they finally got to me" is quite a Nietzschean statement. He doesn't provide you any comfort, instead he will challenge you to embrace the struggle and use it as fuel for self-overcoming. I find it a very powerful mindset for the times we're in for "blood".

I find it so fascinating that people perceive op as caring about what others think. I rather think it's more about refusing to be the victim of tragic circumstance, whether that be due to people, natural events, life itself, or yourself. Beat the enemy. If life is an enemy due to its purposeless or banality, make it your bitch. That's again what Camus essentially said.

"I need to live to see the day where things get better" OP's is creating it's own meaning by choosing to continue anyway and refusing to surrender to the absurd, very much like Sisyphus.

Living is basically the same as playing Dark Souls III, lol.
 
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GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
61
Id also add Arthur Schopenhauer. On the Sufferings of the World and On Suicide were very helpful for me. I do not understand why he is considered to be a downer or giving up. I rather find his perspective very uplifting. Life is suffering, but struggle is what drives us to live. We can lose ourselves or our 'will' through nature and art and extend compassion to our fellow man who faces the same predicament we do. These are the things that motivate me. Nietzsche (whom I haven't read) was inspired by him I believe (think they have converged at points but again I'm not as familiar.)

Camus said in The Myth of Sisyphus that suicide is a confession that life is too much for the person (paraphrasing.) it was the first thing I thought of when reading op's post.

Philosophy has honestly helped me more than cbt ever has lol. I'd love an existential therapist.

@GuppyBoyo

If people are abusing their power during the spur of the moment only, then why do overarching, systemic power structures exist (e.g capitalism, racism, patriarchy, powerful institutions like corporations or religious doctrines or authoritarian regimes?) I don't think it's really about "stopping that thing." I think it's about control, superiority, and exploitation.

I don't understand how it would follow that continuing to carry on is what people trying to "stop that thing" want. You're giving them what they want by stopping that thing, right? Consider how hate groups want to 'cure ' LGBT people, or the disabled, that sort of thing. Those within power would rather the weak don't exist or if they do, to serve their power ultimately. I'd rather think suicide continues to feed their power, especially since suicide is often perceived as a weakness, and tearing down the 'weak' is what those in power desire.

Think of how say, activists won their power. They fought. They were loud and proud and did not let their oppressors stop them. I see choosing to live in this way. I don't disagree focusing on one's wellbeing is important, but when you don't value yourself, it's hard to do. For me, I only care about my wellbeing as I consider it as reflection of others (I think of god as the universe and all living things as one as they're all connected to the universe, for context.) having an external factor to strive for isn't always bad. People are different, and their motivations to live are thus different. I'm more of a "my body is a temple" sort of person.




I disagree. I think one can also apply life experiences here. Life sucks, we were forced to be here, so why not prove to yourself you won't be bound by your suffering or let tragedy defeat you?

I find it so fascinating that people perceive op as caring about what others think. I rather think it's more about refusing to be the victim of tragic circumstance, whether that be due to people, natural events, life itself, or yourself. Beat the enemy. If life is an enemy due to its purposeless or banality, make it your bitch. That's again what Camus essentially said.
while I agree with the things you say, it is not the continued existence that undermines oppressive power structures, it is their intentional opposition, if you just continue existing passively then you're not threatening anyone, you're effectively "stopping that thing", having you alive and exploitable is far more useful than having you die, they don't want the weak to die they want them under control.

and also it seems to me that pursuing the weakening of power structures as a means towards personal and collective well being is a far more useful outlook than just doing it out of spite.


and also also, not all the harm that the vulnerable receive is coming from the top. you're forgetting that most people are sick in the mind; parents do torture their kids for looking a little autistic, the neighbors will pick up the kids and return them to their parents if they try to run away from the torture, the torture will be justified to the kids if they speak out about.
perhaps you don't know this because you live in the west or some adjacent places, but communities out here will unanimously choose to carry out and reproduce harm at every level and every place just because. no thought pattern, just so they would maintain the normal.
mothers, fathers, neighbors, relatives.... you do not know the power of harm that people out here carry out on any threat on normalcy.
they dismantle the systems that challenge their power, they close all the exit doors, with these scumbags, one is truly stuck....

and you will grow up, and your very existence will become useful to them, your work and cooperation will benefit the very people that conspired against you, the parents that tortured you will have someone to serve them and take care of them, the community that consigned that harm will have someone contributing to its endeavors, they've won, they managed to carry out their harm to maintain normalcy, and now they have another member in their community

the common person, for some reason is just rotten to their very core, i know for a fact that they can think with their mind instead of their vibes, but they choose not to.


but you could of course put up your entire existence to try and better those scumbags, in that endeavor i wish everyone good luck, but spite won't help you there
 
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D

daysfeel

Member
Oct 6, 2023
38
while I agree with the things you say, it is not the continued existence that undermines oppressive power structures, it is their intentional opposition, if you just continue existing passively then you're not threatening anyone, you're effectively "stopping that thing", having you alive and exploitable is far more useful than having you die, they don't want the weak to die they want them under control.

and also it seems to me that pursuing the weakening of power structures as a means towards personal and collective well being is a far more useful outlook than just doing it out of spite.


and also also, not all the harm that the vulnerable receive is coming from the top. you're forgetting that most people are sick in the mind; parents do torture their kids for looking a little autistic, the neighbors will pick up the kids and return them to their parents if they try to run away from the torture, the torture will be justified to the kids if they speak out about.
perhaps you don't know this because you live in the west or some adjacent places, but communities out here will unanimously choose to carry out and reproduce harm at every level and every place just because. no thought pattern, just so they would maintain the normal.
mothers, fathers, neighbors, relatives.... you do not know the power of harm that people out here carry out on any threat on normalcy.
they dismantle the systems that challenge their power, they close all the exit doors, with these scumbags, one is truly stuck....

and you will grow up, and your very existence will become useful to them, your work and cooperation will benefit the very people that conspired against you, the parents that tortured you will have someone to serve them and take care of them, the community that consigned that harm will have someone contributing to its endeavors, they've won, they managed to carry out their harm to maintain normalcy, and now they have another member in their community

the common person, for some reason is just rotten to their very core, i know for a fact that they can think with their mind instead of their vibes, but they choose not to.


but you could of course put up your entire existence to try and better those scumbags, in that endeavor i wish everyone good luck, but spite won't help you there
What if you're existing and being very happy outside of the community, living nowhere near them and not being actively exploited by them? Wouldn't that hold some power in itself? They can't really get you anymore, and their attempts to weaken you only strengthened you since you're living a happy, healthy and successful life? If the goal is to weaken you while still existing near them, what if you existed nowhere near them and did so with happiness ans success?
 
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GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
61
What if you're existing and being very happy outside of the community, living nowhere near them and not being actively exploited by them? Wouldn't that hold some power in itself? They can't really get you anymore, and their attempts to weaken you only strengthened you since you're living a happy, healthy and successful life? If the goal is to weaken you while still existing near them, what if you existed nowhere near them and did so with happiness ans success?
perhaps ?
 
Ijustcantanymore

Ijustcantanymore

Member
Nov 22, 2024
65
Suicide is not defeat. It is self care. Life is not a battle. It's a fucking prison we are forced into. I'm not defeated by dying, I am fucking free from prison and maltreatment. But hey if people want to keep being abused by life. I won't stop them.

But suicide is not defeat. It's not weakness and anyone that uphold that ideal is a pos.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
1,084
Nothing wrong with admitting defeat when you are in fact defeated.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,361
I never really hear suicide being talked about from this perspective. But does anyone else fight the urge to die, because you know it would be admitting defeat to the people who crushed you? Almost like it gives too much power to the people who need to be proven wrong.
It's a matter of your personal perspective.

You can only be defeated if you fought for sth or you are still fighting but once you come to the conclusion that suicide is the logical consequence to be relieved then it's not a defeat if you stopped fighting windmills. It's a victory to be relieved from personal suffering!
 
Cloud Busting

Cloud Busting

Formerly pinkribbonscars
Sep 9, 2023
481
while I agree with the things you say, it is not the continued existence that undermines oppressive power structures, it is their intentional opposition, if you just continue existing passively then you're not threatening anyone, you're effectively "stopping that thing", having you alive and exploitable is far more useful than having you die, they don't want the weak to die they want them under control.

and also it seems to me that pursuing the weakening of power structures as a means towards personal and collective well being is a far more useful outlook than just doing it out of spite.


and also also, not all the harm that the vulnerable receive is coming from the top. you're forgetting that most people are sick in the mind; parents do torture their kids for looking a little autistic, the neighbors will pick up the kids and return them to their parents if they try to run away from the torture, the torture will be justified to the kids if they speak out about.
perhaps you don't know this because you live in the west or some adjacent places, but communities out here will unanimously choose to carry out and reproduce harm at every level and every place just because. no thought pattern, just so they would maintain the normal.
mothers, fathers, neighbors, relatives.... you do not know the power of harm that people out here carry out on any threat on normalcy.
they dismantle the systems that challenge their power, they close all the exit doors, with these scumbags, one is truly stuck....

and you will grow up, and your very existence will become useful to them, your work and cooperation will benefit the very people that conspired against you, the parents that tortured you will have someone to serve them and take care of them, the community that consigned that harm will have someone contributing to its endeavors, they've won, they managed to carry out their harm to maintain normalcy, and now they have another member in their community

the common person, for some reason is just rotten to their very core, i know for a fact that they can think with their mind instead of their vibes, but they choose not to.


but you could of course put up your entire existence to try and better those scumbags, in that endeavor i wish everyone good luck, but spite won't help you there

I think it's fair to point out that I am American and thus biased from that perspective. Where are you from?

I still disagree that the powerful want the weak to exist so they can control them. Essentially what the powerful want is, well, power. They can get that by killing off the "useless eaters." Women are viable because their reproductive organs are used for control. Otherwise groups like the disabled, POC, the poor, and LGBTQ are best not accommodated and better off dead or not existing. Why do people advocate for autism cures, conversion therapy, and policies that make it more likely for the ill, poor, or vulnerable to die (like cuts to social welfare programs or a lack of affordable housing or labor laws?)

I agree that not all harm is coming from the top, but I'd argue it exists because the top spreads propaganda and creates policies that allows bigotry to exist, especially systemically. Also I think many parents are technically on top as they create hierarchical power structures amongst their children. I think children are an oppressed class but that's controversial and I'm sure many think I'm a crazy flower child for that. Idc.

Also I think we have different definitions of what living out of spite means. I don't think living passively and taking the shit of others is living out of spite at all. Absolutely if you wanna live out of spite it's best to weaken power structures or prove those fuckers wrong. When you continue to act autistic and still live a happy life despite others wishing you didn't act autistic I'd say hell yeah you've won.

Also I think living to improve the lives of scumbags is a waste, and it's better served to fight for the underdogs. Fuck the pigs in power. I hate the mental health field but I feel at home bonding with alienated people on SaSu, especially as someone who survived an attempt and chose to try recovery. That- to me- is spite.
 
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GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
61
I think it's fair to point out that I am American and thus biased from that perspective. Where are you from?

I still disagree that the powerful want the weak to exist so they can control them. Essentially what the powerful want is, well, power. They can get that by killing off the "useless eaters." Women are viable because their reproductive organs are used for control. Otherwise groups like the disabled, POC, the poor, and LGBTQ are best not accommodated and better off dead or not existing. Why do people advocate for autism cures, conversion therapy, and policies that make it more likely for the ill, poor, or vulnerable to die (like cuts to social welfare programs or a lack of affordable housing or labor laws?)

I agree that not all harm is coming from the top, but I'd argue it exists because the top spreads propaganda and creates policies that allows bigotry to exist, especially systemically. Also I think many parents are technically on top as they create hierarchical power structures amongst their children. I think children are an oppressed class but that's controversial and I'm sure many think I'm a crazy flower child for that. Idc.

Also I think we have different definitions of what living out of spite means. I don't think living passively and taking the shit of others is living out of spite at all. Absolutely if you wanna live out of spite it's best to weaken power structures or prove those fuckers wrong. When you continue to act autistic and still live a happy life despite others wishing you didn't act autistic I'd say hell yeah you've won.

Also I think living to improve the lives of scumbags is a waste, and it's better served to fight for the underdogs. Fuck the pigs in power. I hate the mental health field but I feel at home bonding with alienated people on SaSu, especially as someone who survived an attempt and chose to try recovery. That- to me- is spite.
I'm from Algeria,
well I won't argue with that right now but i have to stress out that as you said, not all harm comes from the top, most of it comes from our communities. your community doesn't want you dead, it's members want someone weak to continue to punch down on, to have a living means of justifying their indifference towards the less unfortunate

it is not propaganda that makes them seek indifference that makes them want to self-congratulate for not being in bowels of misery it is purely the filth that festers in their own hearts. you need to understand that people do not do things because they are uninformed people are not stupid, they do it because they are truly terrible human beings.

it matters not the harm that comes form the top unless a community chooses to leave its vulnerable members in the mud no harm is too great and no power lasts long it only can do that when it is allowed to.
there was no amount of propaganda that made my parents torture me, there was no amount of propaganda that made them deny me the chance to do any activity, nothing made them undermine and break any and every method i tried to use to cope, nothing made them be a living antidote to all of my attempts at well being, yet they still did, for some reason.
there was no amount of propaganda that made anyone i sought for help justify what was being done to me, there was nothing making them stop me and take me back to them whenever i tried to escape, nothing made them enable and uphold this harm, but they did, hundreds obliged.

even if you no longer permit your own harming, people like you are still being harmed, there's still those with power over them, redoing the same things, so long as they continue to do the same things over and over again, you are not winning, they are.
the slave doesn't win he escapes the slavemaster, he wins when there's no longer slavery.
 
Michi_Violeta

Michi_Violeta

M.A. in Heartbreak and Motorsports
Feb 3, 2025
449
It's all perfectly and beautifully subjective and there's nothing wrong with that.

To me suicide is an act of dignity and defiance whereas to go on living after what I've been through feels like a defeat. Accepting the world is a cruel and unjust place where I'll just have to endure an endless cycle of trauma and reconstruction is not a victory, I don't care who would see my death as them being right or whatever. I will give up in life before giving up on my beliefs and values. Doing things in my own terms, that's a victory and if I won't get it in this world then I'll get it by escaping.
 
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fallingtopieces

fallingtopieces

Warlock
May 6, 2024
710
In my younger days, I read The Stranger (Camus) and something clicked. It would later bring me to The Myth of Sisyphus by Camus and it all made sense. It explained what I was feeling and for a couple of decades became like a manifesto as @Cloud Busting said. But over time that subsided and I found the crux of it, rebelling against the absurd, too simplistic, just not enough. As @Forever Sleep stated, suicide can also be viewed as rebelling against the absurdity of this existence. I'm not at all advocating for the latter, just to be clear. Only to explain why Myth of Sisyphus just stopped working for me. I still fully understand that existence is finite and absurd, and paradoxically, that it is also all we have, thus it is everything, and so it is also precious. Schopenhauer was interesting to read. Of course heavily influenced by eastern thought, Buddhist and Hindu philosophy. I did also read Schopenhauer's essay "On Women" which is laughably horrific.

I think there is some overlap in the arguments about power and the weak. Those in power need people who are powerless, and I think that also equates to being weak, and that does translate to control. Millions upon millions, upon billions are strong and abled but live in poverty, or struggle to make ends meet, or are living paycheck-to-paycheck with no financial security whatsoever. If you have to constantly worry about your livelihood, I do believe that means some control over you, a clear power imbalance. Billionaires, corporations and businesses hate unions for good reason. They sell to protect working people and rebalance some of that power. Exploitation of human labor is fundamental to immoral power structures and exploitive economic systems and why we have "billionaires". That also includes something like war, and Putin as an example using young men as cannon fodder. They are strong but they are also weak in that they believe they have no choice. Certainly a good amount do not wish to be conscripted and some non-significant number have fled Russia altogether.

"Otherwise groups like the disabled, POC, the poor, and LGBTQ are best not accommodated and better off dead or not existing."

POC are exploited all the time. This is also a result of systemic racism. As is the gender pay gap and systemic sexism and patriarchy. America with slavery, and of course immigrant labor is another example. Heck, the "first world" is very much what it is because of all the colonizing, looting, pillaging, proxy wars, interference, coup d'état's, and exploitation of POC for material and economic gain all over the world. And the fact is majority of poor people are working people. True LGBTQ are best not accommodated if you are a religious conservative. And certainly one of the most marginalized people are trans. Still for majority businesses and corporations, labor is labor and the cheaper the better. Indeed rights had/have to be fought for, they were/are never freely given. That is also rebelling against a status quo.

But we can also talk about marginalized peoples, groups and communities of which the powerful and moneyed have no use for. People they can't exploit for their gain, people who can't work for them, be used by them. Do they really care what happens to those folks? Yeah, probably not.
 
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amaterasu :-)

amaterasu :-)

Student
Dec 21, 2023
117
Yes I'm the same, my biggest issue is not having a SN when the day comes that I must use it outright, and and has become impossible to find
 
mydeadflowers

mydeadflowers

Member
Apr 3, 2025
11
I often find myself far too fatigued to care about what anyone may think of me after death. Regardless, I encourage you and anyone else who desires life over death to cling onto whatever motivation they may have to continue living for as long as they possibly can. Sincere belief in your ability to find greater happiness than those who've hurt you is truly an empowering feeling, and I hope that spark of yours helps you find brighter days.
 
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Tao

Tao

hope fades into the world of night
Mar 28, 2024
24
For me, this is a very common take I hear especially on many sub-reddits I'm apart of.
My childhood abuse was promoted under the guise of "making me stronger." It would make a lot of people in my family proud if I stay alive, be successful, and prosper even if I never spoke to them again because they would still feel it was worth what they did and it was because of their "discipline" I made it to where I am.
Anyway, I'm still living because I want to and try to focus on finding some kind of inner peace. However you want to think about it to cope and get through this darkness is fine but from my point of view, it feels like living out of spite or to prove others wrong is just living for someone else. It doesn't feel authentic or sustainable to me.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,805
Defeated? Yes, I am totally defeated, completely defeated, by life's circumstances
 
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SolitudeMan

SolitudeMan

Member
Mar 1, 2024
33
Why care?
live on if you can but life isn't a chess game where there are defeats and victories.
Make a deicision for yourself if you want to live or not.
I don't blame anyone for living on or for comitting suicide.
It doesn't make much difference either way.
we're not important in the grand scheme of things.
 
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J

Jdieiejdjaow

Experienced
Nov 10, 2021
286
there was no amount of propaganda that made my parents torture me, there was no amount of propaganda that made them deny me the chance to do any activity, nothing made them undermine and break any and every method i tried to use to cope, nothing made them be a living antidote to all of my attempts at well being, yet they still did, for some reason
That's because in the West (from where usually it is suggested to other countries) C-PTSD didn't make it into the DSM. It's the single most transformative policy that can happen. It's in ICD-11 but who acknowledges WHO? And in that form it's not fully complete. When C-PTSD will make it into the DSM and countries decide to legiferate in preventing it, that's when you'll see a lot of reduction of what makes people suicidal in the first place. It'll transform the capitalist /socialist system into something new.
That is also rebelling against a status quo.
The only problem is when you weaken people and break their spirit from gathering and claiming their rights. I've seen the trauma movement fail and nobody in the streets asking for C-PTSD to be put into the DSM. For example, Ireland looks to the UK which looks to the USA. It's only recently that the UK and Ireland public health sector acknowledged C-PTSD and only in the form of what the sufferer has as symptoms, never on the causes 😑😑
 
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T

Thomas599

Member
Jan 9, 2025
52
So suicide is admitting defeat. So what? I am true to myself and I know that when I am tired enough, I am done. I'm not trying to win a race. My self worth and self respect is not wrapped in how other people judge me.

SO what? Who cares. After we are gone, we won't know what other people think, whether good or bad... nor should we care. Am I weak in the mind of someone else? One of the things I have learned is that CTBing may just be the single bravest thing any human being can do.
 
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GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
61
That's because in the West (from where usually it is suggested to other countries) C-PTSD didn't make it into the DSM. It's the single most transformative policy that can happen. It's in ICD-11 but who acknowledges WHO? And in that form it's not fully complete. When C-PTSD will make it into the DSM and countries decide to legiferate in preventing it, that's when you'll see a lot of reduction of what makes people suicidal in the first place. It'll transform the capitalist /socialist system into something new.

The only problem is when you weaken people and break their spirit from gathering and claiming their rights. I've seen the trauma movement fail and nobody in the streets asking for C-PTSD to be put into the DSM. For example, Ireland looks to the UK which looks to the USA. It's only recently that the UK and Ireland public health sector acknowledged C-PTSD and only in the form of what the sufferer has as symptoms, never on the causes 😑😑
i don't understand what you're talking about ?
 
fallingtopieces

fallingtopieces

Warlock
May 6, 2024
710
I disagree. I think one can also apply life experiences here. Life sucks, we were forced to be here, so why not prove to yourself you won't be bound by your suffering or let tragedy defeat you?

I find it so fascinating that people perceive op as caring about what others think. I rather think it's more about refusing to be the victim of tragic circumstance, whether that be due to people, natural events, life itself, or yourself. Beat the enemy. If life is an enemy due to its purposeless or banality, make it your bitch. That's again what Camus essentially said.
My ranting side, I want to say I completely agree with what you said here. It can be said there is no meaning in suffering, but there is in the fight, in the defiance of it all. Finding whatever amount of peace, safety, comfort, love, joy and laughter one can is itself a big fuck you to an existence that is not only absurd, but also teeming with absurd levels of suffering, cruelty, injustice, and inequity. I myself am more beaten down tbh, but will always root for those still fighting. On some level, even acknowledging our suffering, many of us on here are still fighting. More power to anyone who is until whenever and however the end comes.
 
Z

Zaphkiel

IDK
May 13, 2023
237
Eeeeh.
Of course it's admiting defeat. You basically surrender everything and case to exist.why the damn ego thoughts ? Real question here. Of you wanna die you're well past any ego considération. It's an act of desesperation.
If you're still considering something like this you're prolly not ''ready'' to ctb.
And I encourage you to fight as much as you can if you're not driven into a corner.
 
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Saponification

Saponification

A piece of nothing
Jun 27, 2024
69
I never really hear suicide being talked about from this perspective. But does anyone else fight the urge to die, because you know it would be admitting defeat to the people who crushed you? Almost like it gives too much power to the people who need to be proven wrong.

After all the horrible psychological damage, my suicide making even one single person happy is too one too many. I don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing they were able to kill me off and get rid of me.

I need to live to see the day where things get better, and I'm able to prove to everyone that I wasn't meant to be a fuck up, and more importantly that they were never able to stop me from having a happy life. I can't kill myself because it would prove to them they're powerful. More powerful than me. They got to be happy, why would I commit suicide and deny myself the chance to be happy like them.

But fighting the urge to ctb is so difficult. I know of a method I'm not scared of. I have tranquilizers as well, so I really wouldn't even feel it. But I literally *can't* do it. I cant let them scapegoating me for that long define me. I can't let the world see that they finally got to me. I just can't. I have to keep living.
I definitely understand where you're coming from, but personally I really don't see it that way. Rather than admitting defeat, I always saw it more as a victory against a hard-wired survival instinct evolved from billions of years of biological programming, in favour of your honest desire for death from the rational part of yourself.

And as for the part about proving something to everyone who wronged you, I personally couldn't care less. Sure, I harbour a lot of hatred for certain people and in general, but I don't feel like it matters enough to me to the point of abandoning my desire for eternal peace.
 
Malfunction

Malfunction

Member
Jul 27, 2024
53
From the context you share, then I could understand that. I suppose I wouldn't want to give anyone the satisfaction.

It isn't my reason for wanting to die however. My health is my reason. I have no reason to believe anything will get better because they won't. Odds are pretty strong for what's coming, and I have zero interest in that.
 
BlockHammer

BlockHammer

Losing My Religion
Oct 25, 2023
264
Well you can view suicide in that perspective, but for me im more concern about the long term. First i think anger is a great weapon to be used, i've seen a lot of people improve because of it, that include me, but the problem is i'm started to get depended on this emotion to an unhealty point, it's easy to say find another motivation but i haven't found anything more effective than anger

Second, why would i care about other people think about me?? Is the point of living is to live on your own rules and personal choices (as long as the personal choices aren't illegal) like why would i listen to other people about my personal choices, furthermore i think a lot of commentator has point this out but life isn't as simple as winning or losing!! Why do you always assume that there's someone who wish you to die (except if you literally had an enemy) i admit that yeah there are people who abused their power but on the same time people were mean because for some unknown reason and the reason can be many, not just because they hate your guts.

The way i view it, i see suicide as a act of rebeling to life, other can view it however they want their mindset isn't my concern. But i do wish that all of you don't have to commit suicide, i wish that you can find happines
 
J

Jdieiejdjaow

Experienced
Nov 10, 2021
286
i don't understand what you're talking about ?
There's no insult taken. C-PTSD is less known.

C-PTSD stands for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a disorder when develops (if susceptible) after repeated prolonged harm is done to them. It can be childhood abuse, neglect and/or abandonment and/or torture, repeated sexual assault, captivity etc. as an adult.

Preventing C-PTSD by accepting it as a diagnosis (for example, PTSD is recognized) in the Bible of psychiatry (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, or, the DSM) policies will be enacted. For example, safe housing, abuse prevention, financial support, human connection, trauma therapy, community integration etc. For those disabled, they'll be granted human rights standard for housing, finance, (psycho)education, trauma therapy etc.

In such a society, it would become inconceivable for parents to have children without onboarding them to trauma prevention. Schools would teach kids what a healthy family is and when a kid would report abuse in their household they would be provided with a safe one should the caregivers not want to change. The adoption system is dysfunctional in its majority. At least in the US.

Most of what I said applies to the US as that's where the research comes from, though, I'm pretty sure it applies to other countries in one way or another.

So what you went through, if the world would've taken the trauma movement seriously and would have made changes, other kids might have been prevented a lot of harm. 🙂
 
T

Thomas599

Member
Jan 9, 2025
52
Eeeeh.
Of course it's admiting defeat. You basically surrender everything and case to exist.why the damn ego thoughts ? Real question here. Of you wanna die you're well past any ego considération. It's an act of desesperation.
If you're still considering something like this you're prolly not ''ready'' to ctb.
And I encourage you to fight as much as you can if you're not driven into a corner.
Suicide does NOT have to be an act of desperation. It does NOT have to be an overly emotional reaction to something... the wailings of an emotionally hysterical person. I have considered and I have come to a stoic understanding that when the time comes, I will believe that I am not able to make any more positive impact on this world and then it will be time to go.
 
GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
61
There's no insult taken. C-PTSD is less known.

C-PTSD stands for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's a disorder when develops (if susceptible) after repeated prolonged harm is done to them. It can be childhood abuse, neglect and/or abandonment and/or torture, repeated sexual assault, captivity etc. as an adult.

Preventing C-PTSD by accepting it as a diagnosis (for example, PTSD is recognized) in the Bible of psychiatry (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, or, the DSM) policies will be enacted. For example, safe housing, abuse prevention, financial support, human connection, trauma therapy, community integration etc. For those disabled, they'll be granted human rights standard for housing, finance, (psycho)education, trauma therapy etc.

In such a society, it would become inconceivable for parents to have children without onboarding them to trauma prevention. Schools would teach kids what a healthy family is and when a kid would report abuse in their household they would be provided with a safe one should the caregivers not want to change. The adoption system is dysfunctional in its majority. At least in the US.

Most of what I said applies to the US as that's where the research comes from, though, I'm pretty sure it applies to other countries in one way or another.

So what you went through, if the world would've taken the trauma movement seriously and would have made changes, other kids might have been prevented a lot of harm. 🙂
...
adding a disorder to a book doesn't do anything when you don't even have a functional mental health sector
 
J

Jdieiejdjaow

Experienced
Nov 10, 2021
286
...
adding a disorder to a book doesn't do anything when you don't even have a functional mental health sector
Maybe not. Though it's way better if it's recognized and treated. It forces structural changes. As dysfunctional as the MH sector is, it's worse to not even have your disorder recognized. I think you'd agree with this, no?
 
deleteduser853695

deleteduser853695

I swear I tried my best
Feb 26, 2024
128
Yeah, I hear you. I'm desperately hoping my old classmates and colleagues never find out I CTBed because it would be too shameful for me. I know a good number of them would feel a rush of satisfaction, a sense of superiority because everything has always been a competition to them and if I CTB, they'll feel they've won.

There were a lot of people who were always supportive of everyone else's success, never jealous or resentful, never saw things as a competition. Them, I wish nothing but the best. I hope they find all the success and happiness that they wish everyone else finds. I hope they don't find out I CTBed because they'll be sad about it, and they don't deserve that grief and pain.

But the ones who hated me simply because I had better grades in school and they were jealous - they'll feel joy at my death, at winning the competition they made up in their head, and I don't want that for them. They don't deserve it after always tearing everyone else down.​
 

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