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speck

speck

Student
May 5, 2020
178
Every conversation is like walking on thin ice, you can feel the ice giving out beneath you. Nothing you say is right and by the time you realize you're in danger, you're already in the middle of the river.
Everything I do needs correction, everything I say is so unsatisfactory and stupid.
I feel like I have a head full of cotton all the time and I'm lost and tired.
I love this person so much, I've given them all I have and they hate me, hate me, hate me. I wasted their life and their time, I'm a disappointment, I'm a blob. I'll never be what they need.

I've known this person ten years and I feel like when I look over my shoulder I see two young people who are still in love, walking the streets of the place I used to call home. Over the years this person has hated me more and more and wanted to do less and less with me- now every vacation, every outing I beg for is like walking on needles for them. They're only here out of obligation now and I'm still watching those Memories play in the back of my mind.

I feel like it's very soon time to go. I can't go on much longer and I can't live without this person and I just want to give up and go to sleep. I don't want to be alone in this ugly world, unable to change for the better.
I had a job and they asked me to leave it, schools out for two weeks- nowhere I need to be anymore. I can just go at anytime. I feel like a ghost.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
Relatable. I hope you feel better soon.
 
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Reactions: RaphtaliaTwoAnimals, speck and Dead Meat
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,030
It sounds painful what you are going through. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I'm sorry you are going through this. I can relate to feeling like a ghost, I feel like I have already died. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
 
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Reactions: speck, Dead Meat and Suicidebydeath

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