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Venting "I can't die, I have work tomorrow!"

Grimscribe

Grimscribe

In Defense of Non-Existence
May 16, 2023
49
Recently I've been thinking a lot about that thought. It haunted my last few weeks, eating away at my brain. I want to commit suicide, I have no methods or plans, but a desire. But this desire is also suffocated by responsabilities that were laid upon me by myself and others, and at the same time, even with this wish to die, the fear of being considered a failure and to let everyone down also gnaws me. It's all fucked up.
 
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onthefence

onthefence

Actually… sobbing on the floor
Dec 31, 2024
227
Grimscribe said:
Recently I've been thinking a lot about that thought. It haunted my last few weeks, eating away at my brain. I want to commit suicide, I have no methods or plans, but a desire. But this desire is also suffocated by responsabilities that were laid upon me by myself and others, and at the same time, even with this wish to die, the fear of being considered a failure and to let everyone down also gnaws me. It's all fucked up.
Click to expand...
I almost went to CTB a few months ago but didn't because if I failed I would be in trouble for no showing at work. Really makes no sense… I was pretty confident my method would have worked. I'm really good at finding excuses to not CTB at particular times. I think part of me must want to stay.
 
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Reactions: arandomname, Princess_Kitty and CatLvr
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