Venting "I can't die, I have work tomorrow!"

[Grimscribe]

Recently I've been thinking a lot about that thought. It haunted my last few weeks, eating away at my brain. I want to commit suicide, I have no methods or plans, but a desire. But this desire is also suffocated by responsabilities that were laid upon me by myself and others, and at the same time, even with this wish to die, the fear of being considered a failure and to let everyone down also gnaws me. It's all fucked up.

 

[onthefence]

Recently I've been thinking a lot about that thought. It haunted my last few weeks, eating away at my brain. I want to commit suicide, I have no methods or plans, but a desire. But this desire is also suffocated by responsabilities that were laid upon me by myself and others, and at the same time, even with this wish to die, the fear of being considered a failure and to let everyone down also gnaws me. It's all fucked up.

I almost went to CTB a few months ago but didn't because if I failed I would be in trouble for no showing at work. Really makes no sense… I was pretty confident my method would have worked. I'm really good at finding excuses to not CTB at particular times. I think part of me must want to stay.