Story I can't believe I always end up deep in shit

[microwaved_dawg]

Why does this keep happening to me?. I fucking hate it, just seems like every now and then life needs to put me in a bad spot.
I'm alone again and I can't believe it, what's my problem, why everyone seems to eventually get tired of me and just get rid of me like I'm trash.

It happened again, I made something and everybody got big mad at me. Now that everything of value that I brought to the group can be taken over by anyone else I'm just left high and dry. Just seems like verything I've done, the sleepless nights helping, the money I've spent, the times I was their fucking uber driver don't mean shit after all.
Today they had a party, nobody invited me, but made sure I saw how happy everyone was without me and I just can't describe how helpless, worthless, stupid and alone I felt.

For some context me and my gf "M" opened a business earlier this year and I enden up quitting because I just couldn't with all the problems, I got in debt and she wouldn't sut up about how I was useless and that wasn't helping at all. It really hurt me, but I'm very attached to her, so I got the BRILLIANT idea of contacting her best friend "A" because maybe she could give me some insight as to how ease things up a bit, as she knows M for far longer than I do. We went out 2 times to eat and talk a bit. Eventually things settled with M and we decide to keep the fact that A and me were talking because we both new we would be in big trouble if anyone found out as her friends with benefits "E" (i guess??) is a jealous piece of shit and apparently A stole one of M's boyfriends before. There's that, a couple of weeks went by, we didn't talk much and I really thought I was home and free, but A in an offhand comment said that we went out once and everything just CAME DOWN CRASHING. I had to hand over all the conversations with A to M in order to prove I meant no harm. They were all full of shittalking eachothers relationship, giving our opinion about discussions we had with our SO and shit like that, also some normal conversations about things we both like. When the info got out everyone just looked at me like I cheated or some shit, even though everything was purely platonic, "B" who I thought was my closest friend because I've done more for him than anyone else and was my go-to person when I was struggling suddenly changed up on me, telling M to break up whit me and to the point of involving her family and also making shit up about me, even prohibiting me from ever coming to his home again. I'm no longer invited to anything becuase apparently people can't stand my presence, but B still acts as if I know nothing (maybe that mf still needs something from me).

In the end, M is still with me (although I don't know for how long it's gonna last with everything that's going on), A is blocked, E hates my guts and B is acting like a bastard, and everyone else just forgot about me.

TL:DR - I went out in secret with a friend (all platonic) and when I got exposed everyone switched on me, even my closest friend who is now talking shit about me.

 

[Untoten_]

Why does this keep happening to me?. I fucking hate it, just seems like every now and then life needs to put me in a bad spot.
I'm alone again and I can't believe it, what's my problem, why everyone seems to eventually get tired of me and just get rid of me like I'm trash.

It happened again, I made something and everybody got big mad at me. Now that everything of value that I brought to the group can be taken over by anyone else I'm just left high and dry. Just seems like verything I've done, the sleepless nights helping, the money I've spent, the times I was their fucking uber driver don't mean shit after all.
Today they had a party, nobody invited me, but made sure I saw how happy everyone was without me and I just can't describe how helpless, worthless, stupid and alone I felt.

For some context me and my gf "M" opened a business earlier this year and I enden up quitting because I just couldn't with all the problems, I got in debt and she wouldn't sut up about how I was useless and that wasn't helping at all. It really hurt me, but I'm very attached to her, so I got the BRILLIANT idea of contacting her best friend "A" because maybe she could give me some insight as to how ease things up a bit, as she knows M for far longer than I do. We went out 2 times to eat and talk a bit. Eventually things settled with M and we decide to keep the fact that A and me were talking because we both new we would be in big trouble if anyone found out as her friends with benefits "E" (i guess??) is a jealous piece of shit and apparently A stole one of M's boyfriends before. There's that, a couple of weeks went by, we didn't talk much and I really thought I was home and free, but A in an offhand comment said that we went out once and everything just CAME DOWN CRASHING. I had to hand over all the conversations with A to M in order to prove I meant no harm. They were all full of shittalking eachothers relationship, giving our opinion about discussions we had with our SO and shit like that, also some normal conversations about things we both like. When the info got out everyone just looked at me like I cheated or some shit, even though everything was purely platonic, "B" who I thought was my closest friend because I've done more for him than anyone else and was my go-to person when I was struggling suddenly changed up on me, telling M to break up whit me and to the point of involving her family and also making shit up about me, even prohibiting me from ever coming to his home again. I'm no longer invited to anything becuase apparently people can't stand my presence, but B still acts as if I know nothing (maybe that mf still needs something from me).

In the end, M is still with me (although I don't know for how long it's gonna last with everything that's going on), A is blocked, E hates my guts and B is acting like a bastard, and everyone else just forgot about me.

TL:DR - I went out in secret with a friend (all platonic) and when I got exposed everyone switched on me, even my closest friend who is now talking shit about me.

Anything that you wouldn't do or say infront of your partner involving the opposite gender, is honestly the same as cheating because it can be seen as testing the waters. That includes going out with them and keeping it a secret, you can lie by omission say "oh I saw them while I was out, so we spoke awhile." But that opens a other can of worms

I'm genuinely surprised that this isn't more common knowledge.

If you flipped the roles you'd be angry as well right?

Theres definitely some stuff that's blown out of proportion here, like making shit up, but at the same time as your best friend he should speak up about the fact you meant no ill intention, seems like he never knew you well at all if he couldn't say that.

Don't get me wrong, if my best friend cheated on his SO I'm snitching. Straight away. Idc, but if there was something about what had occurred that doesn't scream cheating + if I know he isn't capable of that, then yes I'd say something else, but I'd let him know what he did was fucking dumb.

Some things are definitely overblown in this. 100% but what you did is akin to cheating even if nothing happened. Especially shit talking your partners.

Like what were you thinking? You could have easily kept it in normal chats. Nothing was stopping you, that is ALOT better to explain if you genuinely only had good intentions.

And the whole "someone stole, someone's boyfriend" that whole friend group has got to go. It's a little stronger now that you're their common enemy but it'll blow up again soon and the chances of it surviving that blow up are low.

Edit: the best thing you can do rn is stop begging, stop pleading and stop explaining. Tell them you know you're innocent because nothing was ever going to happen. Then walk away. If they try and find you, there you go, if not. Then you have answer about what a shitty friend group it was. A lot of people over explain and it kills attraction, whether friendly or romantic. I was guilty of this recently. Just be the bigger person. Say one more thing and walk, do not over explain.

Pro tip if u wanna go the revenge route: work on yourself a bit, nothing brings down egos more than someone glowing up after cutting ties because it makes them think "What the fuck, was I just holding you back?"

But it's kind of manipulative. I'd personally avoid that stuff. But it's there if you need it.