I can't bear the agony anymore. I don't know if I can wait two more months. I'm becoming so, so desperate to end the pain.

[cantgetoutofbed]

Thank you for sharing that. This makes total sense to me. I feel like I'm in "freeze" mode - can't do anything. The shock took a couple of weeks to have an effect, and I was slipping, but then it was just out of my control and has been. I don't feel like there's anything that can be done for it. It's what they used to call a nervous breakdown.

I have his book out right now... I can list important points (based on my understanding):
• Abandonment depression is a severe response to...well, perceived abandonment
• The idea is that we're triggered into fear and shame, which causes the "inner critic" to take over (described as retraumatizing), which causes a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response
• It seems to basically be a giant emotional flashback, which is generally a level of "fear, shame, alienation, rage, grief, and/or depression" that's disproportionate to tge triggering event ie perceived abandonment
- emotional flashbacks can last "from moments to weeks on end"...during my more recent experience, it seems like my depression got significantly worse for a while (not sure if it was a week?) and I remember feeling an unbearable amount of shame, grief, and depression. Horrible stuff.

I find that Walker doesn't really explain some concepts well, so I'm not sure if my bullet points sum it up accurately. But when I first read the idea of abandonment depression and emotional flashbacks...it was like "wow so many other people feel this way!" Regardless I still feel like a melodramatic freak lmao but ah well. Reddit's r/cptsd helps too if you're interested.

Hey, it's cool that Seroquel makes you hungry at least for a little bit. I was prescribed Seroquel for insomnia and to augment my antidepressant. It may have helped if I took it more than the one time... I don't really remember it doing anything at all. It may have made me hungry too but idk.

• #31

Thank you for sharing that. This makes total sense to me. I feel like I'm in "freeze" mode - can't do anything. The shock took a couple of weeks to have an effect, and I was slipping, but then it was just out of my control and has been. I don't feel like there's anything that can be done for it. It's what they used to call a nervous breakdown.

I have his book out right now... I can list important points (based on my understanding):
• Abandonment depression is a severe response to...well, perceived abandonment
• The idea is that we're triggered into fear and shame, which causes the "inner critic" to take over (described as retraumatizing), which causes a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response
• It seems to basically be a giant emotional flashback, which is generally a level of "fear, shame, alienation, rage, grief, and/or depression" that's disproportionate to tge triggering event ie perceived abandonment
- emotional flashbacks can last "from moments to weeks on end"...during my more recent experience, it seems like my depression got significantly worse for a while (not sure if it was a week?) and I remember feeling an unbearable amount of shame, grief, and depression. Horrible stuff.

I find that Walker doesn't really explain some concepts well, so I'm not sure if my bullet points sum it up accurately. But when I first read the idea of abandonment depression and emotional flashbacks...it was like "wow so many other people feel this way!" Regardless I still feel like a melodramatic freak lmao but ah well. Reddit's r/cptsd helps too if you're interested.

Hey, it's cool that Seroquel makes you hungry at least for a little bit. I was prescribed Seroquel for insomnia and to augment my antidepressant. It may have helped if I took it more than the one time... I don't really remember it doing anything at all. It may have made me hungry too but idk.

It's not showing my last message, for some reason. I'm reading up on some of his stuff now.

 

[cantgetoutofbed]

I have his book out right now... I can list important points (based on my understanding):
• Abandonment depression is a severe response to...well, perceived abandonment
• The idea is that we're triggered into fear and shame, which causes the "inner critic" to take over (described as retraumatizing), which causes a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response
• It seems to basically be a giant emotional flashback, which is generally a level of "fear, shame, alienation, rage, grief, and/or depression" that's disproportionate to tge triggering event ie perceived abandonment
- emotional flashbacks can last "from moments to weeks on end"...during my more recent experience, it seems like my depression got significantly worse for a while (not sure if it was a week?) and I remember feeling an unbearable amount of shame, grief, and depression. Horrible stuff.

I find that Walker doesn't really explain some concepts well, so I'm not sure if my bullet points sum it up accurately. But when I first read the idea of abandonment depression and emotional flashbacks...it was like "wow so many other people feel this way!" Regardless I still feel like a melodramatic freak lmao but ah well. Reddit's r/cptsd helps too if you're interested.

Hey, it's cool that Seroquel makes you hungry at least for a little bit. I was prescribed Seroquel for insomnia and to augment my antidepressant. It may have helped if I took it more than the one time... I don't really remember it doing anything at all. It may have made me hungry too but idk.

It's not showing my last message, for some reason. I'm reading up on some of his stuff now.

I have his book out right now... I can list important points (based on my understanding):
• Abandonment depression is a severe response to...well, perceived abandonment
• The idea is that we're triggered into fear and shame, which causes the "inner critic" to take over (described as retraumatizing), which causes a fight/flight/freeze/fawn response
• It seems to basically be a giant emotional flashback, which is generally a level of "fear, shame, alienation, rage, grief, and/or depression" that's disproportionate to tge triggering event ie perceived abandonment
- emotional flashbacks can last "from moments to weeks on end"...during my more recent experience, it seems like my depression got significantly worse for a while (not sure if it was a week?) and I remember feeling an unbearable amount of shame, grief, and depression. Horrible stuff.

I find that Walker doesn't really explain some concepts well, so I'm not sure if my bullet points sum it up accurately. But when I first read the idea of abandonment depression and emotional flashbacks...it was like "wow so many other people feel this way!" Regardless I still feel like a melodramatic freak lmao but ah well. Reddit's r/cptsd helps too if you're interested.

Hey, it's cool that Seroquel makes you hungry at least for a little bit. I was prescribed Seroquel for insomnia and to augment my antidepressant. It may have helped if I took it more than the one time... I don't really remember it doing anything at all. It may have made me hungry too but idk.

Or I should say---likely fawn response.

 

[bigdog]

Kill me

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It's not showing my last message, for some reason. I'm reading up on some of his stuff now.

Or I should say---likely fawn response.

Sorry mate, it's been a bit of a rough day. How are you doing?