M

Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
Is anyone else this way i am because being around normal functioning people makes me realise how bad the genetics i have are and how fucked up i am. Everyday at work it crushes me to see people with social skills like it's nothing when my anxiety i so bad i can barely say a word to anyone and physically i look fucked up but everyone else looks normal how is this fair i never had a chance from the start. I'm supposed to work tonight but phoned in saying my car needs to be fixed i just cannot face it tonight. I have to go back tommorrow night though it is so fucking unbearable. If there is any type of life after death we all deserve it to be good after all we suffer there is probably nothing though.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Scribble Fan, Rocksandsand, Fatality and 12 others
W

whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
356
How I feel around my highschool friends. They are all pretty much done school, have supportive families and other friends.

I still have no idea what I want and am impulsive as shit. I think they are starting to see what a fucking loser I am now. Eventually they'll leave and it'll make it so much easier to ctb
 
  • Like
Reactions: laila888, AtomicNewt, Final Escape and 1 other person
M

Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
How I feel around my highschool friends. They are all pretty much done school, have supportive families and other friends.

I still have no idea what I want and am impulsive as shit. I think they are starting to see what a fucking loser I am now. Eventually they'll leave and it'll make it so much easier to ctb
You are not a loser my friend if they leave they are not friends we all have each others back here.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: felix987671, Lemons, thedutchguy and 1 other person
P

pleasethistime

Experienced
Jun 25, 2018
256
same
 
  • Like
Reactions: AsexualBarbieBoy and Mljonzy
DoomedxFromBirth

DoomedxFromBirth

Waste of Agony
Jun 1, 2019
139
This is why I literally have two friends lol. One is my tattoo artist. When I used to get tattooed by her the shop would be empty which is what I preferred cause other people make me uncomfortable especially loud people. They are actually annoying. When it used to just be me and her I used to called that day "Antisocial Sunday's" :sunglasses:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Final Escape and Mljonzy
LogicalConclusion

LogicalConclusion

Experienced
Jun 2, 2019
239
I've never had a life outside of mental illness so the only space I mask it is in the MMO I play. Have one friend from the guild that I talk to almost every morning and she's mentally ill, too, so she mostly gets it. (I would never bring up pro-choice in terms of ctb to her though) Other than that, my whole life pretty much revolves around my mental illnesses. If I ever am in situations where I have to pretend to be normal, I feel so fake and like everyone can see through it.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: appalachian moon, felix987671, Soul and 4 others
M

Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
I've never had a life outside of mental illness so the only space I mask it is in the MMO I play. Have one friend from the guild that I talk to almost every morning and she's mentally ill, too, so she mostly gets it. (I would never bring up pro-choice in terms of ctb to her though) Other than that, my whole life pretty much revolves around my mental illnesses. If I ever am in situations where I have to pretend to be normal, I feel so fake and like everyone can see through it.
I hear you i feel like everyone who seems normal is fake like they are hiding things and not being genuine. My spare time revolves around gaming even if i don't feel like playing. I used to pretend i was ok around people now i just don't care i know that no matter what happens i need to get out of this world before i'm 40 and i'm almost 30 so i have to do it within 10 years.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: LogicalConclusion and not_a_robot
Darkhaven

Darkhaven

All i have left is memories
May 19, 2019
979
I have to endure it because i'm in college.
I just plug my earphones and listen to my music, while everyone around me just gossips and flirts or tells their friends what they ve been up to.
I couldn't give a single fuck about any all of that.
Almost every conversation topic that is appealing to normal people seems pointless and boring to me.
 
  • Love
Reactions: not_a_robot
not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
lol, there are no people who are not fucked up.
If you meet someone and you think they aren't fucked up, that's your own insecurity blinding you to their flaws.
They're all fucked up.
All of them.
Nobody escapes the damage.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: WinterIsComing, appalachian moon, Orin and 2 others
inconsequential

inconsequential

Enlightened
Jun 1, 2019
1,011
I surround myself with people who are the same type/level of fucked up as me. No judgement to be found! It's quite nice.

Everyone is fucked in their own way, but man, some crazy just doesn't mesh with mine.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AtomicNewt, Broken Chimera and Soul
Slenderman

Slenderman

Jimmy Smith
Jun 9, 2019
65
It honestly blows my mind how people are out there not wanting to die every single day, not having completely random panic attacks, no intrusive thoughts, no nothing. Me, I can not get along with those people it's just to much for me to even begin to process.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Soul, appalachian moon and AtomicNewt
KadathianStr1d3r

KadathianStr1d3r

Shattered Mannequin
Nov 21, 2018
278
I wish I could hang out with people that are as crazy as me but not too crazy. But I will admit I do miss my genuine old stoner friends, they never said no to a good blunt!
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Thats precisely the reason why I only have fucked up friends I met in psych wards, various communities for the mentally ill, and facebook suicide help groups.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Xaphous
felix987671

felix987671

Iwanttolivebutnotlikethis Iwanttodiebutnotlikethis
Jun 5, 2019
9
I prefer spending time with people that are not professionally successful. My two friends that are successful cannot understand me being chronically depressed. They always just recommend me sports.
Right now I am in a psychiatric hospital. The staff is mostly friendly. I tell them that the medical and psychological program doesn´t work for me and they don´t care. I cannot speak about being suicidal or they will keep me there. But I can say I will go to Switzerland and die with Dignitas. They cant keep me for that. Then they get angry and treat me badly. So I wont talk about that either. I hate them for being so ignorant.
There is one other patient that I like. But she is hopeful to recover, senses that I am screwed and avoids me.

I've never had a life outside of mental illness so the only space I mask it is in the MMO I play. Have one friend from the guild that I talk to almost every morning and she's mentally ill, too, so she mostly gets it. (I would never bring up pro-choice in terms of ctb to her though) Other than that, my whole life pretty much revolves around my mental illnesses. If I ever am in situations where I have to pretend to be normal, I feel so fake and like everyone can see through it.
I feel sorry for you.
 
azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
Is anyone else this way i am because being around normal functioning people makes me realise how bad the genetics i have are and how fucked up i am. Everyday at work it crushes me to see people with social skills like it's nothing when my anxiety i so bad i can barely say a word to anyone and physically i look fucked up but everyone else looks normal how is this fair i never had a chance from the start. I'm supposed to work tonight but phoned in saying my car needs to be fixed i just cannot face it tonight. I have to go back tomorrow night though it is so fucking unbearable. If there is any type of life after death we all deserve it to be good after all we suffer there is probably nothing though.
Hi, Mljonzy, I feel the same way. When I'm in an environment in which mental illness is a non-issue (i.e., no one seems to have it, no one talks about it, no one seems to know anyone who does have it), I feel isolated and alone. I don't like being in situations in which mental health is not addressed/talked about, or in situations in which if I feel it's taboo to talk about mental health. I feel you. Since you work at night, I'm wondering if you work in the food and beverage industry..
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mljonzy
M

Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
Hi, Mljonzy, I feel the same way. When I'm in an environment in which mental illness is a non-issue (i.e., no one seems to have it, no one talks about it, no one seems to know anyone who does have it), I feel isolated and alone. I don't like being in situations in which mental health is not addressed/talked about, or in situations in which if I feel it's taboo to talk about mental health. I feel you. Since you work at night, I'm wondering if you work in the food and beverage industry..
Work in a big supermarket not the best job but pay is decent it is a very lonely job though. Whilst i'm there i feel confused like i'm thrown in a world i don't belong.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Egddios
ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
I hate being around normal functioning people because I feel like they judge me behind my back for not living up to their standards of being a slave to the system (having a "normal" job, etc)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Orin and Xaphous
Ramirez

Ramirez

Criminally insane
Jun 10, 2019
396
I used to train alot in my matarial arts gym the last few years and at the end alot of ppl actually really like me just for being kinda good at what i was doing and for being really in shape. But it felt so rediculous to me because i would always think 'if you would know how fucked up I am'. But I never talk about anything too private so it was hard to connect to others
 
Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
The problem with "normal" people is they have poor communication skills. They lack empathy and they think too highly of themselves. They're preoccupied with where they are on the totem pole of society and look down on the ones they deem as inferior. If someone is fucked up, i think it's them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ramirez

Similar threads

nancyboy
Replies
0
Views
90
Suicide Discussion
nancyboy
nancyboy
qualityOV3Rquantity
Replies
21
Views
709
Suicide Discussion
ChronicAnamnesis
ChronicAnamnesis
Mark121
Replies
8
Views
235
Suicide Discussion
Major Tom
Major Tom
W
Replies
4
Views
394
Suicide Discussion
mellowdependency
mellowdependency