Venting I cannot hold a job to save my life

[VegasLyra]

I've been a NEET for the past 7 years and in 2021 I had a failed suicide attempt. Since then, I've been on antidepressants and just existing, not living.

A few months ago I had an existential crisis about this "life" and decided to try to get a job as a last-ditch alternative to another suicide attempt. Since then I've had 4 job offers, each of which i prematurely quit after less than an hour at them.

I don't know why I'm like this. I feel an extreme urge to quit something as soon as I begin it. Anyways, I'm definitely planning to CTB now. It really is the only way to true peace

 

[Dreamwalker]

I'm sorry this is happening to you !! To be fair, Capitalism is objectively evil, and working a job is the most accepted and mundane way to reinforce it. Holding a job in a Capitalist society is not a measure of your character <3

 

[VegasLyra]

I'm sorry this is happening to you !! To be fair, Capitalism is objectively evil, and working a job is the most accepted and mundane way to reinforce it. Holding a job in a Capitalist society is not a measure of your character <3

Ty that means a lot <3

 

[fallen.dove]

i feel u. my first attempt was 8 years ago and since then i am aswell just existing.. for the past 6 months ive been looking for a job since i graduated but its impossible for me because i dont have 20 years of experience while being 20. i got two offerts since then and they fired me after a week in the first one even if i had experience in graphic design that was required there lol and in the second one they fired me after 4 hours…i fucking started crying in front of customers. i didnt know either why i am like this. unable to do anything, just useless. even tho its a lil different than your story i think its kind of similar. im sorry. i hope things are going to change for good

 

[ethereal_hobo]

Could it be a kind of panic or phobic reaction?

I wonder if it would happen in a voluntary work situation.

 

[VegasLyra]

Could it be a kind of panic or phobic reaction?

I wonder if it would happen in a voluntary work situation.

It's definitely anxiety. Unfortunately I can't go on anti-anxiety meds because I tried it once and they made me insanely suicidal (which I know is the entire point of this forum but it made me feel insanely gloomy which i don't wanna feel when I CTB).

 

[ethereal_hobo]

It's definitely anxiety. Unfortunately I can't go on anti-anxiety meds because I tried it once and they made me insanely suicidal (which I know is the entire point of this forum but it made me feel insanely gloomy which i don't wanna feel when I CTB).

I have anxiety / phobias too, and I don't want to go on meds for various reasons, so I sympathise.

But wait, have you heard that advice about breathing mindfully and trying to get used to the sensations of anxiety without reacting so much? Yyyyeeeaahhhh that didn't work either.

 

[VegasLyra]

I have anxiety / phobias too, and I don't want to go on meds for various reasons, so I sympathise.

But wait, have you heard that advice about breathing mindfully and trying to get used to the sensations of anxiety without reacting so much? Yyyyeeeaahhhh that didn't work either.

LMAO right people who tell you to do breathing methods or to meditate are so full of shit

 

[ethereal_hobo]

LMAO right people who tell you to do breathing methods or to meditate are so full of shit

Yeah those things may have a place but they're probably not the cure for extreme anxiety reactions. I've dabbled in such things a fair amount (including practising them consistently at times)