Help I cannot catch the bus without hurting my mother feelings

[needtogonow]

Sorry to hear what you're going through. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, especially since it goes against the natural order of things. In all fairness, I think some people don't feel obligated to wait until their mother (or father) dies, as they didn't choose to be born in the first place and don't feel like being given the gift of life was a favor to them. There are also many who have had abusive parents and don't feel they owe them anything. Regardless, I hope you find peace being reunited with your son one day.

Thank you for your support. I completely agree with you in theory, but the OP did seem to feel some obligation toward their mom, and my comments were addressed at them. On a different note, I'm sorry that you're suffering. Your mother sounds very compassionate. That fact that she accepts what you want to do is unusual.

 

[JadedGray]

Thank you for your support. I completely agree with you in theory, but the OP did seem to feel some obligation toward their mom, and my comments were addressed at them.

Fair enough. I don't know their circumstances.

Thank you for your support. I completely agree with you in theory, but the OP did seem to feel some obligation toward their mom, and my comments were addressed at them. On a different note, I'm sorry that you're suffering. Your mother sounds very compassionate. That fact that she accepts what you want to do is unusual.

Thank you. It took a long time for her to accept my decision, but since she's been suicidal herself she can see where I'm coming from and that I have problems that realistically will never get better.

 

[dandan]

My son CTB in March. We were very close. His death has killed me. I am on here to figure out a peaceful way to CTB myself because this torment is unbearable. I never would have done this before, I was a relatively happy person with a good life.

I am in agony. The pain never stops, not even for one second. All I do is think about my own death so that I can get some relief. He left me a note saying that it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't help. I blame myself constantly even though people say that's irrational.

Please, please consider waiting until your mother is gone before you CTB. I am 100 percent sure that if my son knew what this would do to me, he wouldn't have gone through with it. I had no idea that this much suffering was even possible for one person to feel. If you love your mother, please make the sacrifice for her and wait.

im so sorry!!!

im so sorry, but how could you post this here,

after weeks and days and days trying to come up with courage to OFF myself...

you come and bring up the most precious thing in the world, my mom....

you are asking to much, but I understand, but its too much.....

I have talked with my mother.....

she said she would have to accept it if I die,,,, she knows its "my" responsability , and not hers

we have talked about it, me dying or killing mysel, because she's the one who has seen me suffer years and years and years, why would she want me to continue suffering?
she knows how life has been with me? why should I continue like this?
so that she can live without the pain of me killing myself??
damm....

im sorry for you,
and im sorry for my mom
and im sorry for me...

you only making it a little bit more difficult

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

Best thing to do honestly is to just not think about it if you do decide to CTB. You can't control what she feels. Notes help too as others have said.

I know mine will be hurt for a while mostly due to the fact that she is happy as of right now and my autism but she's just going to have to deal with it. I sound like a cold hearted bastard but that is just the way I am I guess. It's time we both go our own paths even if my path isn't really one.

No doubt will I have to deal with anger from both her and my family once they follow behind me into the world of the dead but I'm fine with that.

 

[needtogonow]

im so sorry!!!

im so sorry, but how could you post this here,

after weeks and days and days trying to come up with courage to OFF myself...

you come and bring up the most precious thing in the world, my mom....

you are asking to much, but I understand, but its too much.....

I have talked with my mother.....

she said she would have to accept it if I die,,,, she knows its "my" responsability , and not hers

we have talked about it, me dying or killing mysel, because she's the one who has seen me suffer years and years and years, why would she want me to continue suffering?
she knows how life has been with me? why should I continue like this?
so that she can live without the pain of me killing myself??
damm....

im sorry for you,
and im sorry for my mom
and im sorry for me...

you only making it a little bit more difficult

I am very sorry that you are in so much pain. My message was meant for the OP who appears to be in a different situation than you. Your mom sounds kind, forgiving, and compassionate. I'm not trying to change your mind, but know that she will suffer terribly if you leave. And she will blame herself because that's part of what survivors of suicide do.

That said, I understand that you are suffering now. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for your mom. And I'm sorry for me.

 

[Weems]

My son CTB in March. We were very close. His death has killed me. I am on here to figure out a peaceful way to CTB myself because this torment is unbearable. I never would have done this before, I was a relatively happy person with a good life.

I am in agony. The pain never stops, not even for one second. All I do is think about my own death so that I can get some relief. He left me a note saying that it wasn't my fault, but that doesn't help. I blame myself constantly even though people say that's irrational.

Please, please consider waiting until your mother is gone before you CTB. I am 100 percent sure that if my son knew what this would do to me, he wouldn't have gone through with it. I had no idea that this much suffering was even possible for one person to feel. If you love your mother, please make the sacrifice for her and wait.

Man, it's hard to see your posts.

 

[tomz323]

I am very sorry that you are in so much pain. My message was meant for the OP who appears to be in a different situation than you. Your mom sounds kind, forgiving, and compassionate. I'm not trying to change your mind, but know that she will suffer terribly if you leave. And she will blame herself because that's part of what survivors of suicide do.

That said, I understand that you are suffering now. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for your mom. And I'm sorry for me.

Thanks for sharing your story, I can only offer my sympathy and can't imagine the pain of what you're going through. It is however daunting to know that's the mark I would make on my parents.