FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,602
I am 27 and I feel like a failure of a woman because I failed to get a man of my own. Other women I grew up now are married or have relationships something so natural other women get right I keep getting wrong. I can't stop crying. I feel so broken. I am a virgin as well. It's a reason why I want to kill myself because I am tired of being that girl or woman who never ever gets picked. There is something wrong with me something deeper and darker wrong with me always being the girl now woman who never gets picked. I have severe psychological issues and insecurities from never being chosen.
All my life I have known male rejection even my own father didn't want me. It absolutely hurts so much I have never been a man's number 1 choice and never had a man see me as special which is something other women have in their lives. I have never been someone's crush, never been someone's girlfriend.
When I was in secondary school the girls at school were getting boyfriends or male attention while the boys at school regularly builled me for being the werid quirky girl who struggled to fit in at school. I experienced my friends in secondary school no longer hanging out with me once they got a boyfriend I even experienced similar at university. The women in my law class that I was friends with all they talked about was their boyfriends and made me feel left out of the group. I take an interest in the guys I like and make ALL the effort to get to know them and show geniuene interest in them but guys never do the same for me. I am NEVER EVER enough its always rejection, rejection and rejection
Over the summer I decided to try again with men because I was ready to move on from the 55 year old man I was so deeply in love with. The new guy I liked is 30 years old, he has a lot of issues due to past abusive relationships with women and has suffered cancer in the past but still I liked him. One of the reasons why he decided to reject me was because he doesn't like the fact I go church. He is an anti Thiest.
I told him I will never ever force my religion on him and I respect people's beliefs. My religion is my private business. I accepted him for who he is but for him religion is a redline. This was the same man who was complaining to me about women never choosing him and how he wants a relationship more than anything. I was the one who asked him out, suggested ideas for going out, I made clear I liked him and put myself on a plate but still he rejects me. The man had a lot of insecurities so many of them. He even questioned my attraction to him when I told him already I found him handsome because of his red hair and amazing dark brown eyes. He had problems with my very small height his exes were much taller than me.
Why can't someone love me, why can't someone choose me. I am tired of always being the woman who never gets picked. Honestly I feel there like there is no one for me and I truly am unlovable.
All my life I have known male rejection even my own father didn't want me. It absolutely hurts so much I have never been a man's number 1 choice and never had a man see me as special which is something other women have in their lives. I have never been someone's crush, never been someone's girlfriend.
When I was in secondary school the girls at school were getting boyfriends or male attention while the boys at school regularly builled me for being the werid quirky girl who struggled to fit in at school. I experienced my friends in secondary school no longer hanging out with me once they got a boyfriend I even experienced similar at university. The women in my law class that I was friends with all they talked about was their boyfriends and made me feel left out of the group. I take an interest in the guys I like and make ALL the effort to get to know them and show geniuene interest in them but guys never do the same for me. I am NEVER EVER enough its always rejection, rejection and rejection
Over the summer I decided to try again with men because I was ready to move on from the 55 year old man I was so deeply in love with. The new guy I liked is 30 years old, he has a lot of issues due to past abusive relationships with women and has suffered cancer in the past but still I liked him. One of the reasons why he decided to reject me was because he doesn't like the fact I go church. He is an anti Thiest.
I told him I will never ever force my religion on him and I respect people's beliefs. My religion is my private business. I accepted him for who he is but for him religion is a redline. This was the same man who was complaining to me about women never choosing him and how he wants a relationship more than anything. I was the one who asked him out, suggested ideas for going out, I made clear I liked him and put myself on a plate but still he rejects me. The man had a lot of insecurities so many of them. He even questioned my attraction to him when I told him already I found him handsome because of his red hair and amazing dark brown eyes. He had problems with my very small height his exes were much taller than me.
Why can't someone love me, why can't someone choose me. I am tired of always being the woman who never gets picked. Honestly I feel there like there is no one for me and I truly am unlovable.
