I thought I was ready to execute my suicide but I just love my parents too much. They really are awesome, loving parents but at the same time it is destroying my psyche to just keep thinking about suicide over and over and over.
I personally had really awful parents. Just really really bad. But, I do think, like if I was in your situation, would really good family convince me to stay around longer? And I think no. If I was miserable existing in the world, I would want to exit this life regardless. It's good that that is something that you think about, I suppose. For me, I have absolutely nothing tying me to the world. And maybe that's kind of sad. But oh well, I ended up on a suicide website for a reason. My biggest thing tying me to the world is procuring materials and finding the right time and place to do it. And that's still a work in progress.
It was also that I realized that some logistics of my plan weren't going to work. I still plan on ending it when the time is right. I broke down in tears when I thought that maybe I saw my family for the last time. I think I'll be more hardened now and ready to execute.
I am like @DeathWish77 as I had beyond horrible "parents". There is plenty of postings here with the info about them. Now I am 65, much to the displeasure of a few here, and even though both have died, I still have a HUGE hole in my heart because of both of them. Now with that said, if you have parents who are great and loving and you love them, WOW !!, which is GREAT!!, then to ctb , I hate to say, would be down on my list of things to either do and/or contemplate doing. I have no family and no friends and if I had parents that i loved and adored there is no way that I could see myself doing anything of said nature. Always plenty of time after they are gone it is NOT something (ctb) that is going anywhere. Walter
I don't know if I 'love' my parents, but I pretty much can't cope without my mum. Also, she will have a mental breakdown if I ctb, so I can't let her down.
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Efilismislife
Psychopath family tortured me
- May 25, 2021
- 642
Same. I actually feel sick seeing the title. Cause im abused by my parents, they ruined me and dont even take responsibility
OP must be lucky for having a loving parents cause many people dont have that. If i have a great parents i dont have to ctb
If OP love them so much thats something to stick around
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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,128
Yeah, I know it can be hard. To end our pain, it passes it on to someone else. I would personally in my case never suffer for the sake of others. I would always put myself first even know I know they would be sad. It is hard to stop those thoughts when you have people you are leaving behind though. I will be writing a note.
lofticries
obedear
- Feb 27, 2021
- 1,470
I'm in the same boat except I love my mom and I'm keeping myself alive out of some kind of duty for my dad (he's the strict catholic type). When both are dead I will have no reason to live after so that is when I will execute my plan. Until then I'll just gain as much knowledge as I can about potential ctb methods. But really, its hard to live when your thinking about dying on a daily basis. There are times where I wanna go 'fuck it' and get my hands on some sn despite me knowing about the mixed results.
