Venting I am tired of hearing that there would be people that miss me

[insaneinthemembrane]

"There's people that love you, don't do this to them."

This statement honestly makes me sick at this point. I live every day, start to finish, glancing at my phone to see if someone texted me. My last close friend I recently lost due to his bigotry, my girlfriend barely texts me and we are long distance, my other friends barely contact me, and my family is insanely toxic. My family at any point I've spoken my feelings have guilted me for it and genuinely have not cared. I believe I am only here to clean up for them and be a live in nanny at this point. They've done terrible things to me I can't even say. So, why would anyone miss me if they don't even care for my presence now? What is the difference? I'm dead to them already, at least mentally. And I hate that the go-to when I share my thoughts on suicide and such is that there's "people that care." If there were, a lot of us wouldn't feel suicidal. I am suicidal because people do not care.

 

[unnormal9]

"There's people that love you, don't do this to them."

This statement honestly makes me sick at this point. I live every day, start to finish, glancing at my phone to see if someone texted me. My last close friend I recently lost due to his bigotry, my girlfriend barely texts me and we are long distance, my other friends barely contact me, and my family is insanely toxic. My family at any point I've spoken my feelings have guilted me for it and genuinely have not cared. I believe I am only here to clean up for them and be a live in nanny at this point. They've done terrible things to me I can't even say. So, why would anyone miss me if they don't even care for my presence now? What is the difference? I'm dead to them already, at least mentally. And I hate that the go-to when I share my thoughts on suicide and such is that there's "people that care." If there were, a lot of us wouldn't feel suicidal. I am suicidal because people do not care.

Foes like this are blinded by stupidity. Clouded visions cannot see the reality others don't have anyone.

 

[FuneralCry]

No matter what insensitive pro-lifers say nobody is obligated to continue existing here anyway, and the people who repeat those toxic positivity statements are just so ignorant as well, it's best just to take no notice of them, I think it's always a terrible idea to talk to other people about wanting to die.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- I really feel you on this. After those police checks, I agreed to be put in contact with the Crisis line and THEY used that line on me! I was furious (but didn't express it.) I've already hung on with ideation (in varying severity) for 33 years! I still intend to hang on for my Dad to go. Still- I was so cross to be emotionally blackmailed like that- especially from a 'helpline'. Now, I wish I'd said- 'Do you think it's reasonable to expect people to live desperately unhappy and painful lives SOLELY for the sake of not upsetting others?'

Plus- I'm also with you on the whole- 'Everyone cares so much about you.' Not that I want anyone to feel guilty- I understand that we all live busy lives- but the majority of my friends and family, I haven't been in proper contact with for years- even decades. If it weren't for the fact that some of them are in my will- I doubt they'd notice for months if I was gone.

It's not like any of us WANT to hurt people. It's hardly our prime motivation to do it. Many of us have already hung on for longer than we would have liked. I agree- it really angers me too when I hear that.

 

[SpiderLink]

"There's people that love you, don't do this to them."

This statement honestly makes me sick at this point. I live every day, start to finish, glancing at my phone to see if someone texted me. My last close friend I recently lost due to his bigotry, my girlfriend barely texts me and we are long distance, my other friends barely contact me, and my family is insanely toxic. My family at any point I've spoken my feelings have guilted me for it and genuinely have not cared. I believe I am only here to clean up for them and be a live in nanny at this point. They've done terrible things to me I can't even say. So, why would anyone miss me if they don't even care for my presence now? What is the difference? I'm dead to them already, at least mentally. And I hate that the go-to when I share my thoughts on suicide and such is that there's "people that care." If there were, a lot of us wouldn't feel suicidal. I am suicidal because people do not care.

This comment feels like manipulation whenever I hear someone use it. It's like "u have a reason to live" but also "their hurt is more important than your hurt right now". Like the impact u leave will be more hurtful than your hurt right now, and if u actually break it down it's a very bad statement. Especially when u know people love you. Suicide isn't intended (in most cases) to hurt someone, people need to be careful talking to suicidal people, they have to do their research and listen to their needs. I just wish everyone can understand. People r so empathetic for people with physical illness but when it comes to mental illness it's almost tossed out the window.

This comment feels like manipulation whenever I hear someone use it. It's like "u have a reason to live" but also "their hurt is more important than your hurt right now". Like the impact u leave will be more hurtful than your hurt right now, and if u actually break it down it's a very bad statement. Especially when u know people love you. Suicide isn't intended (in most cases) to hurt someone, people need to be careful talking to suicidal people, they have to do their research and listen to their needs. I just wish everyone can understand. People r so empathetic for people with physical illness but when it comes to mental illness it's almost tossed out the window.

But to add onto this, I care about others more than myself. My decision to die is ultimately to stop my suffering, but also not to let down the people around me anymore. They'll feel sad, I realize that, but u can't make anyone happy, u can do things that can help someone with happiness or whatever feeling that may be. U can be part of their happiness, but u can't be someone's happiness. I'm alive for others, not for me, and the way I view it, it's not a good way to live if u can't even live for yourself. I just feel trapped all around

 

[nessun_nome]

I always think that if the best reason somebody can find for you to carry on living is the effect on others, then it only affirms that up you are right to go.

 

[The anhedonic one]

People only care about you when you are dead.

 

[inmyhead]

This comment feels like manipulation whenever I hear someone use it. It's like "u have a reason to live" but also "their hurt is more important than your hurt right now". Like the impact u leave will be more hurtful than your hurt right now, and if u actually break it down it's a very bad statement. Especially when u know people love you. Suicide isn't intended (in most cases) to hurt someone, people need to be careful talking to suicidal people, they have to do their research and listen to their needs. I just wish everyone can understand. People r so empathetic for people with physical illness but when it comes to mental illness it's almost tossed out the window.

But to add onto this, I care about others more than myself. My decision to die is ultimately to stop my suffering, but also not to let down the people around me anymore. They'll feel sad, I realize that, but u can't make anyone happy, u can do things that can help someone with happiness or whatever feeling that may be. U can be part of their happiness, but u can't be someone's happiness. I'm alive for others, not for me, and the way I view it, it's not a good way to live if u can't even live for yourself. I just feel trapped all around

You described this so perfectly with 'their hurt is more important than your hurt'. So I am supposed to continue my suffering every single day, continue feeling like I'm wading through treacle all the time just so someone else isn't hurt temporarily by my death. And it would be temporary, people move on.

 

[SpiderLink]

You described this so perfectly with 'their hurt is more important than your hurt'. So I am supposed to continue my suffering every single day, continue feeling like I'm wading through treacle all the time just so someone else isn't hurt temporarily by my death. And it would be temporary, people move on.

Yeah

 

[FindingHome]

I have been told that before. I owe no one my life. I have distanced myself from the people in my life and have learned in life to only live for you.

 

[lauxe]

"There's people that love you, don't do this to them."

This statement honestly makes me sick at this point. I live every day, start to finish, glancing at my phone to see if someone texted me. My last close friend I recently lost due to his bigotry, my girlfriend barely texts me and we are long distance, my other friends barely contact me, and my family is insanely toxic. My family at any point I've spoken my feelings have guilted me for it and genuinely have not cared. I believe I am only here to clean up for them and be a live in nanny at this point. They've done terrible things to me I can't even say. So, why would anyone miss me if they don't even care for my presence now? What is the difference? I'm dead to them already, at least mentally. And I hate that the go-to when I share my thoughts on suicide and such is that there's "people that care." If there were, a lot of us wouldn't feel suicidal. I am suicidal because people do not care.

Exactly this.