I am scared

[Soontocatch]

I am scared,I have backed out of this many times and pushed it as far as I possibly could.But now I have to do it, but I am scared.I am scared of ctb but also I am scared of going through whatever lies ahead.Its crushing me so much that sometimes I just feel like I should ask someone for help, but it is a temporary solution because I know somewhere down the line I will fall back in the same state I am.
Hopefully I just commit to it soon.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Sorry to hear about your stress. What do you mean, "the same state"?

 

[northevelyn]

We're here if you need to express these feelings more.

 

[Soontocatch]

Sorry to hear about your stress. What do you mean, "the same state"?

Even though I might seek help now but later I might get suicidal again and start feeling miserable again

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

don't generalize, you can't know what lies ahead.
It depends from your situation; some are easier to get solved than others. It depends for how long you tried and failed.
When I was younger I was suicidal for different reasons than now. If I trusted more in my own value and denied others to exploit me, I could have managed to settle my life.

 

[FrozenOcean]

I'm sure you have TONS of company here. We are all scared to some degree. When the time is right your will to die will overcome your fear. I know how frustrating it can be, I'm going through the same thing.