U
UnluckyBastard
Member
- Jun 26, 2024
- 36
My depression, anger, anxiety, confusion, low intelligence, and a toxic combination of lifelong internal struggles/abuse has made it difficult to make friends. I hate myself so much because of my issues. I try to explain it to the friends I have, but sometimes they don't understand, despite having similar issues. A few months ago, I hosted a d and d game, and I blew up at one of my closest friends in front of his gf and others because of some confusion regarding rules in 5e. Now this alone wouldn't be much of an issue... If 5 other people weren't talking at the same time whole trying to explain it. This happened in March. It's now July. I'm still trying to apologize. I really think I lost him. He's been good to me and my family, and I was good to his. And now because of this, he's gone. Zero contact. I've lost friends before and it did hurt, but this one stung and still stings. I hate myself. I really hope the gun method is as painless and quick as it is theorized. I can't handle myself anymore. I feel like I'm collapsing mentally and emotionally. Thanks for reading everyone. I hate my pathetic life.