Help I am in really, really, really big trouble.

[_Alfarooq_]

Why does life have to be this hard? I'm tired of being under pressure to do things I don't want to do in this stupid family. For some reason I have a strong desire for moving out forever because I hate my life here and I am scared of everyone finding out I am failing an A level and I just want to escape from it all. Everyone seems so talented but I am the only one who has been procrastinating and it has gotten so bad. I tried to think that I should try to get a job first, or try to get a place to live but I don't know how long it would take for me to get a job and get on my feet. I might end up homeless, because of that I might end my life believing that I have absolutely failed everyone including my family and myself. Please I need advice I am terrified.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Lots of people fail classes. I have a degree in engineering and even the smartest students often had to drop and retake classes a second time.

 

[olearius]

It hurts to fail a class and life is pretty hard. But it's definitely okay to fail a class. You're still learning something and getting something from it. It really sucks you are being pressured by family members to do things. That's probably not making completing your coursework easier.

You mentioned having trouble with procrastination - I'm of the mind that no one chooses to be lazy or to procrastinate. There are always barriers to completing a task for someone who is procrastinating - whether they are aware of them or not - and regardless if the barrier is internal or external. Barriers can be not having a space to work (desk, quiet location, etc whatever suits you), maybe feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to start the task, etc etc.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

It hurts to fail a class and life is pretty hard. But it's definitely okay to fail a class. You're still learning something and getting something from it. It really sucks you are being pressured by family members to do things. That's probably not making completing your coursework easier.

You mentioned having trouble with procrastination - I'm of the mind that no one chooses to be lazy or to procrastinate. There are always barriers to completing a task for someone who is procrastinating - whether they are aware of them or not - and regardless if the barrier is internal or external. Barriers can be not having a space to work (desk, quiet location, etc whatever suits you), maybe feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to start the task, etc etc.

I always try to stay strong, but I lack the mental capability to handle the stress in my life. And I agree, no one chooses to procrastinate, for me I'm just tired of it all and overall tired of life. Please tell me, have you had any problems with procrastination?

Lots of people fail classes. I have a degree in engineering and even the smartest students often had to drop and retake classes a second time.

I know bud, but my situation is on another level...

 

[sillygirl]

Why does life have to be this hard? I'm tired of being under pressure to do things I don't want to do in this stupid family. For some reason I have a strong desire for moving out forever because I hate my life here and I am scared of everyone finding out I am failing an A level and I just want to escape from it all. Everyone seems so talented but I am the only one who has been procrastinating and it has gotten so bad. I tried to think that I should try to get a job first, or try to get a place to live but I don't know how long it would take for me to get a job and get on my feet. I might end up homeless, because of that I might end my life believing that I have absolutely failed everyone including my family and myself. Please I need advice I am terrified.

i think we kinda have a similar experience, you can msg me if you need to talk more and i'd be happy to help as much as i can <3

 

[olearius]

I always try to stay strong, but I lack the mental capability to handle the stress in my life. And I agree, no one chooses to procrastinate, for me I'm just tired of it all and overall tired of life. Please tell me, have you had any problems with procrastination?

I know bud, but my situation is on another level...

Yes actually I have. My biggest barrier was undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. But other smaller barriers included not having a dedicated space where I wouldn't be interrupted, being autistic (so sensitive to some sensory things), having ambiguous assignments (like an essay where the prompt open ended), or having deadlines that were so far in advance that I couldn't structure time myself (this is something neurodivergent people often can't do bc of executive dysfunction).

Some of these barriers are harder to address then others but none of them represent a personal or moral failing on my part, much like I believe you procrastinating isn't a personal failure either. There are definitely barriers in your way - maybe you can identify some of them, or maybe not. Procrastination is a *response* it's not who you are and it's not indicative of your worth.

I'm really sorry you are struggling with this and it sounds like maybe you haven't gotten much empathy or genuine help before.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Yes actually I have. My biggest barrier was undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. But other smaller barriers included not having a dedicated space where I wouldn't be interrupted, being autistic (so sensitive to some sensory things), having ambiguous assignments (like an essay where the prompt open ended), or having deadlines that were so far in advance that I couldn't structure time myself (this is something neurodivergent people often can't do bc of executive dysfunction).

Some of these barriers are harder to address then others but none of them represent a personal or moral failing on my part, much like I believe you procrastinating isn't a personal failure either. There are definitely barriers in your way - maybe you can identify some of them, or maybe not. Procrastination is a *response* it's not who you are and it's not indicative of your worth.

I'm really sorry you are struggling with this and it sounds like maybe you haven't gotten much empathy or genuine help before.

I definetly haven't gotten any help. I don't think I need anyones help, I only need myself because I feel I trust myself.

 

[Daxter_87]

I wish I could offer useful advice, but, unfortunately, I've been a dropout for a long time; therefore, as you can imagine, I don't have much to say. All I can tell you is that, regardless of how all this ends, it's not your fault at all and you aren't being lazy even in the slightest.

It's actually no surprise you find it burdensome to have to keep up with such weary chores, because they are the opposite of what we naturally enjoy doing. Indeed, I've always considered school and jobs to be awful slavery, and it's depressing that most people have no choice but to either comply or beg on the streets.

Personally, I'm going to CTB when my parents die, as I won't be able to survive on my own – and I don't want to regardless. Just to make it clear, I'm not encouraging you to do the same thing. Again, although I can't be of much help, I hope you escape such a horrible situation as soon as possible.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

I wish I could offer useful advice, but, unfortunately, I've been a dropout for a long time; therefore, as you can imagine, I don't have much to say. All I can tell you is that, regardless of how all this ends, it's not your fault at all and you aren't being lazy even in the slightest.

It's actually no surprise you find it burdensome to have to keep up with such weary chores, because they are the opposite of what we naturally enjoy doing. Indeed, I've always considered school and jobs to be awful slavery, and it's depressing that most people have no choice but to either comply or beg on the streets.

Personally, I'm going to CTB when my parents die, as I won't be able to survive on my own – and I don't want to regardless. Just to make it clear, I'm not encouraging you to do the same thing. Again, although I can't be of much help, I hope you escape such a horrible situation as soon as possible.

I'm sorry to hear that. Since you are a dropout it seems like living in this world even worse, and that you will never get through in life, and that's the same for me. But I really do hope that I escape this horrible situation, but if I fail to escape, and my shitty rubbish life refuses to get better, then its time to CTB.

 

[olearius]

I definetly haven't gotten any help. I don't think I need anyones help, I only need myself because I feel I trust myself.

Yeah, I understand that for sure. When we've experienced this kind of thing, we often rely only on ourselves. And it's exhausting. It feels so so heavy. I do hope you find someone like a friend to help carry the load.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Yeah, I understand that for sure. When we've experienced this kind of thing, we often rely only on ourselves. And it's exhausting. It feels so so heavy. I do hope you find someone like a friend to help carry the load.

A friend? I don't know about that. No one in my area is suffering like me, it will be impossible. Plus I will only carry neccessary and important things. Instead I only hope that all of this works out and I don't have to CTB, but if my plans fail in any way, shape or form, then I guess I must.

 

[Daxter_87]

A friend? I don't know about that. No one in my area is suffering like me, it will be impossible.

Yeah, when I had friends and I was academically struggling in school, all they did was call me immature, lazy, a bum, a chav, etc. Normal people just don't understand; it's not even worth it to open up to them.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Why does life have to be this hard? I'm tired of being under pressure to do things I don't want to do in this stupid family. For some reason I have a strong desire for moving out forever because I hate my life here and I am scared of everyone finding out I am failing an A level and I just want to escape from it all. Everyone seems so talented but I am the only one who has been procrastinating and it has gotten so bad. I tried to think that I should try to get a job first, or try to get a place to live but I don't know how long it would take for me to get a job and get on my feet. I might end up homeless, because of that I might end my life believing that I have absolutely failed everyone including my family and myself. Please I need advice I am terrified.

The biggest enemy are your thoughts. I'm still struggling with that. Thing is no one is perfect it's okay to go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself to anyone everyone has their own flaws. Don't live up to anyone expectations. We are on a floating rock and we will all pass away it's just a matter of time. Don't try to please anyone I advise you to search up how to love yourself. Being a people pleaser will never make you happy trying to live up to their expectation.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, I think you need to tell your family how badly you're struggling. If you fail- they're going to find out anyway. If you tell them now- it shows them that you trust them. Tell them how embarrassed you feel about it. That you don't want to let them down. What's likely to be their response do you think? Will they be angry? Will they put huge pressure on you to study? Is it that you fear?

Have you spoken to your teachers? Is there any counselling service in your college? You won't be the first person to struggle there. Not the first person to fail even- if you do. Better to face up to it now rather than just let the whole thing play out. I struggled in the second year of uni. I thought about quiting. I saw the college councellor. It helped somewhat. Definitely sounds like you need to talk to someone though. Don't try and make all these decisions on your own. They're big decisions and you're upset. You may not be able to see the really big picture on your own. I hope things work out for you.

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Yeah, when I had friends and I was academically struggling in school, all they did was call me immature, lazy, a bum, a chav, etc. Normal people just don't understand; it's not even worth it to open up to them.

Normal people will never understand, when people ask me how I am doing I just lie and say "I'm fine". As soon as I tell them my problems they will just snigger and run off. Some people in this stupid society that I am in find a problem with everything that I do, can be anything from asking them a question to just checking out what they are talking about ( or anything else they see me do, I just can't remember them all and putting them here.) They say that I have no life, no friends at all and that I should grow up and they critisize me for watching certain things and laughing at certain stuff. It's not my fault I have nothing in common with them, and share no interests.

The biggest enemy are your thoughts. I'm still struggling with that. Thing is no one is perfect it's okay to go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself to anyone everyone has their own flaws. Don't live up to anyone expectations. We are on a floating rock and we will all pass away it's just a matter of time. Don't try to please anyone I advise you to search up how to love yourself. Being a people pleaser will never make you happy trying to live up to their expectation.

A people pleaser? Ha. No matter how hard you try, if you try to make everyone happy, there is always someone out there who will have problems with you. That's just a fact. So my only goal in this life is to do ONE thing- please myself. As long I can make myself happy, not in a way that will affect other people, then I don't give a f*ck about what other people think. No one is happy with me by the way.

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Normal people will never understand, when people ask me how I am doing I just lie and say "I'm fine". As soon as I tell them my problems they will just snigger and run off. Some people in this stupid society that I am in find a problem with everything that I do, can be anything from asking them a question to just checking out what they are talking about ( or anything else they see me do, I just can't remember them all and putting them here.) They say that I have no life, no friends at all and that I should grow up and they critisize me for watching certain things and laughing at certain stuff. It's not my fault I have nothing in common with them, and share no interests.


A people pleaser? Ha. No matter how hard you try, if you try to make everyone happy, there is always someone out there who will have problems with you. That's just a fact. So my only goal in this life is to do ONE thing- please myself. As long I can make myself happy, not in a way that will affect other people, then I don't give a f*ck about what other people think. No one is happy with me by the way.

Proud of you for pushing yourself .

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Honestly, I think you need to tell your family how badly you're struggling. If you fail- they're going to find out anyway. If you tell them now- it shows them that you trust them. Tell them how embarrassed you feel about it. That you don't want to let them down. What's likely to be their response do you think? Will they be angry? Will they put huge pressure on you to study? Is it that you fear?

Have you spoken to your teachers? Is there any counselling service in your college? You won't be the first person to struggle there. Not the first person to fail even- if you do. Better to face up to it now rather than just let the whole thing play out. I struggled in the second year of uni. I thought about quiting. I saw the college councellor. It helped somewhat. Definitely sounds like you need to talk to someone though. Don't try and make all these decisions on your own. They're big decisions and you're upset. You may not be able to see the really big picture on your own. I hope things work out for you.

Hell nah. I have been suffering for 8 months, They found out that I have been suffering when they saw something on a device of mine that was related to CTB, and decided to tell me the consequences of doing so, like that will ever work. Who in this site cares about consequences? So I can't trust them anymore. And if I tell them, They will be VERY ANGRY, constantly comparing me to other members of this family about their achievements. And I am home schooling so I don't have any teachers. I hope thing work out for me soon also.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hell nah. I have been suffering for 8 months, They found out that I have been suffering when they saw something on a device of mine that was related to CTB, and decided to tell me the consequences of doing so, like that will ever work. Who in this site cares about consequences? So I can't trust them anymore. And if I tell them, They will be VERY ANGRY, constantly comparing me to other members of this family about their achievements. And I am home schooling so I don't have any teachers. I hope thing work out for me soon also.

Hmm, that is tough. Surely the course you're doing (online?) has some support contacts though? They may be able to refer you to some sort of support services. I do think you need to talk/text someone associated with the course. Or- are you just going to pay to sit an exam type thing?

I don't know really. Parents do have a habit of shaming their children by talking about how successful other family members are doing. My family does it too. Still- are they really even like that when you go to them and openly confess you are struggling? Have you tried in the past? Although- I agree- it doesn't seem like they were very sensitive when they found the CTB stuff. Some of the anger with parents though is when their children do things secretly. But yeah- maybe you do need to find other sources of support other than your parents. Anyone in your wider family maybe? They probably know what it's like to be under that kind of pressure. Or, will they just snitch to your parents?

Don't know what to say really. Sounds like you have been working through options in your head. Are you trying to cram study for this exam now? Or, are you really committed to trying other things?

 

[_Alfarooq_]

Hmm, that is tough. Surely the course you're doing (online?) has some support contacts though? They may be able to refer you to some sort of support services. I do think you need to talk/text someone associated with the course. Or- are you just going to pay to sit an exam type thing?

I don't know really. Parents do have a habit of shaming their children by talking about how successful other family members are doing. My family does it too. Still- are they really even like that when you go to them and openly confess you are struggling? Have you tried in the past? Although- I agree- it doesn't seem like they were very sensitive when they found the CTB stuff. Some of the anger with parents though is when their children do things secretly. But yeah- maybe you do need to find other sources of support other than your parents. Anyone in your wider family maybe? They probably know what it's like to be under that kind of pressure. Or, will they just snitch to your parents?

Don't know what to say really. Sounds like you have been working through options in your head. Are you trying to cram study for this exam now? Or, are you really committed to trying other things?

Of course they will snitch to my parents, who in their right mind would trust filthy people like this? This family is only after my success. If I show up to them as a nobody, watch what will come out of their mouths. No. They don't like me as a family member. They don't love me for who I am. They love me for what I want to do in this life, whether I like it or not, If they are happy with it, nothing will happen, but if it's something they don't like, they will be cursing me day and night. And no, I've lost all my motivation now. I don't give a damn and I'm commited to trying other things, because I don't really care what happens to me, and I am not afraid of death. I have a jumping method of CTB in my mind, if everything fails.