princessdepression
justlikeyou
- Dec 2, 2021
- 27
Hi all, I'm quite new here
Everyday is a suffocating unloving situation, constantly waiting to explode onto me. I am so tired of being here, being here for people I love so much. To never get the same in return. It feels so soul crushing, I've often thought how badly I don't want any of my family to feel regret for what they did or didn't do when I die. Now though, im beginning to think they'll be devestated but angry thinking I'm selfish. Even in death I'm selfish. Even in death I'm trapped to this definition. I honestly wish it was physically possible to bang my head on the wall until I go into a coma. I can bang my head and get as much brain damage as I want but it will never give me the ctb I know I deserve.
Everyday is a suffocating unloving situation, constantly waiting to explode onto me. I am so tired of being here, being here for people I love so much. To never get the same in return. It feels so soul crushing, I've often thought how badly I don't want any of my family to feel regret for what they did or didn't do when I die. Now though, im beginning to think they'll be devestated but angry thinking I'm selfish. Even in death I'm selfish. Even in death I'm trapped to this definition. I honestly wish it was physically possible to bang my head on the wall until I go into a coma. I can bang my head and get as much brain damage as I want but it will never give me the ctb I know I deserve.