No matter what I say, I never end up actually killing myself. I've made attempts, but here I am. It's a comfort to think about death as a way out. My memories of sexual abuse are haunting, more so since I've come out publicly about it. My ex threatened to sue me for libel. I do not have evidence. No one believes me. It feels like things would have been better had I not said anything. I would not have to have resigned from leadership in the organization I was helping build. I am now the vengeful ex and my word means nothing. I cry everyday. Suicide feels like the only answer. Bad things have happened, but nothing like this. I shouldn't have said anything.
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fadinggirl
Member
- Dec 25, 2024
- 79
i hope this doesnt sound awful but this was strangely comforting for me to read, ive gone through something similar and it feels like no one understands how trapping it feels. nobody gets how hard it is to build up the courage to heal and come out of a hole when you're not just haunted by the memories, but there are people around you questioning and criticizing the thing you have memories about. to feel like you're now this vengeful or bitter person when you shouldn't be, and it's not your fault, can be so scary.
