My body has been nothing but misery since childhood due to illness (causing constant pain, nausea, GI problems, eye problems, dental problems, etc which have subsequently caused outward signs of disease/decay such as hair loss starting at around 18 yrs old - and for a young female, that's particularly traumatic -, red ugly sick looking eyes so no makeup allowed and had to wear glasses when I used to always wear contacts, stuff lke that) and then on top of the illnesses and the resulting ugliness from THAT, I was simply born a below-average to ugly female. I've hated this body all my life. It's caused me suffering physically and mentally, prohibited me from going after jobs, opportunities, and just trying for the life I'd dreamed of and aspired to. All while having to watch the healthy and beautiful and more "blessed" enjoy everything I couldn't and achieve their dreams while I do nothing but get sicker, uglier, and older. I wish so much I'd have ctb 30 years ago or something but I was naive or deluded or straight up stupid and kept believing I'd get better, the doctors would eventually be able to help me....I kept thinking I'd still have a chance, but all that happened was continued suffering and loss of the little abilities and freedoms I had -- ALL DUE TO THIS BODY I AM IMPRISONED IN. There was no point to this life and about 99% of my torment has been due to the shitty hand I was dealt in terms of health and this body.
