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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
This is only for people who really dont have other choice to live and cornered to ctb
its not encouraging to ctb, its helping the victim



-you can pm pm if posting wasnt allowed-

HOW/WHAT MAKES YOU CERTAIN TO CTB? AND HOW TO ENCOURAGE TO CTB?


how to know if youre making the right choice and death wont be worse than this life/world?

Ive been trying to gather the courage but its very hard but i dont have other choice either so i cant just cancel it...:'(Its frustrating me

i dont know how to push myself? Please i feel so helpless :'(

Eventhough my logic/mind say this is the only choice, i still hold back!
especially since N or F isnt available, it makes it harder to ctb

i have doubts and worries as well(of the process of dying, the pain, death, etc) i cant bring myself to even worse situation than this, for making bad choices:'(
but theres no way i can get a certain answer either.. of which choice is right..
:ohh:
what a crazy life is this :'(
 
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U

umbrellaphone

Member
Nov 24, 2020
52
CTB encouragement is prohibited here. If what you mean is overcoming survival instinct, I suggest you rephrase it. There were already some discussions about this particular topic. You might want to look at them.
 
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
Not SI. That can be taken care of by handcuff, blood choke fainting, drug, etc
but the encouragement or whatever that what i need. How to change my mind/bravery. I dont even know why i still cant

thats why i said in the beginning its only for people who really cornered and have no choice to live
its not encouraging, its helping.

Also if posting isnt allowed. Can be via pm.
CTB encouragement is prohibited here. If what you mean is overcoming survival instinct, I suggest you rephrase it. There were already some discussions about this particular topic. You might want to look at them.
 
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A

Anonymous_A

Arcanist
Oct 4, 2020
411
Not SI. That can be taken care of by handcuff, blood choke fainting, drug, etc
but the encouragement or whatever that what i need. How to change my mind/bravery. I dont even know why i still cant

thats why i said in the beginning its only for people who really cornered and have no choice to live
its not encouraging, its helping.

Also if posting isnt allowed. Can be via pm.
I bet a lot of people on here still wouldn't ctb if they had N, F or whatever. If we had a 100% easy way to go, still a lot of people wouldn't.
There's a big line between wanting to ctb and actually doing it.
 
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S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,099
I bet a lot of people on here still wouldn't ctb if they had N, F or whatever. If we had a 100% easy way to go, still a lot of people wouldn't.
There's a big line between wanting to ctb and actually doing it.
This^

Even if someone were to "assist" you in PM, you still have to will your body to carry it out which could be near impossible to "okay, let's get this shit over with." If you're still having reservations on CTBing, then I suggest you take a deep look at why you're hesitating or unable to do so. People are scared of death, why are you scared of death, do you need to do some research on the spiritual afterlife to ease your concerns? It's a journey to get to a point in life where you can CTB without having a second thought.
 
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deepinlimbo

deepinlimbo

I want to Insert something profound here
May 30, 2021
146
no one should be encouraging you.
I bet a lot of people on here still wouldn't ctb if they had N, F or whatever. If we had a 100% easy way to go, still a lot of people wouldn't.
There's a big line between wanting to ctb and actually doing it.
but it would make it a hell of a lot easier, I know during my manic moments if I had N I wouldn't have even waited for my account to become active. I would have been out of here like a gun going off.
But as many in this thread have stated it's not for anyone to ever encourage you. That's a big no. No one should be doing that
 
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
I dont think im a spiritual person. I cant find a certain truth if heaven/hell/reincarnation exist. But cant deny if it still affect me a little

But im more scared of the dying process, the pain, how bad it is, what happen after it

ive been reading bout dying, death, etc but still no answer, and from what i read its painful and scary

but the problem is im really cornered to ctb(life issues, health, family, etc) :'(

This^

Even if someone were to "assist" you in PM, you still have to will your body to carry it out which could be near impossible to "okay, let's get this shit over with." If you're still having reservations on CTBing, then I suggest you take a deep look at why you're hesitating or unable to do so. People are scared of death, why are you scared of death, do you need to do some research on the spiritual afterlife to ease your concerns? It's a journey to get to a point in life where you can CTB without having a second thought.
I bet a lot of people on here still wouldn't ctb if they had N, F or whatever. If we had a 100% easy way to go, still a lot of people wouldn't.
There's a big line between wanting to ctb and actually doing it.
If its really do able and painless i would
no one should be encouraging you.

but it would make it a hell of a lot easier, I know during my manic moments if I had N I wouldn't have even waited for my account to become active. I would have been out of here like a gun going off.
But as many in this thread have stated it's not for anyone to ever encourage you. That's a big no. No one should be doing that
Yeah the other method is hard to do. even researching for it and preparing not to make mistake is frustrating enough and making my mind more crumpled

not encouraging but give tips, suggestion or whatever, how to gather ulbthe courage/bravery/how to be certain about ctb. Its helping cause im truely cornered, have no choice to live. :'(
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,450
For me, it would be desperation, seeing no other options and being unable to think past thoughts of suicide. Then I would be completely certain about ctb. If you have any doubts then it probably isn't your time to leave. I think if someone was so desperate to leave this world then they would be able to overcome the survival instinct in methods like jumping for example. If you are living in hell, you no longer care about an afterlife.
 
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
Theoretically thats also what i thought.

But finding out about the dying process and science research about dying, makes me scared of bringing myself to worse situation and i dont even know if its bearable and if death is really is just nothingness or we can still feel :ohh:

For me, it would be desperation, seeing no other options and being unable to think past thoughts of suicide. Then I would be completely certain about ctb. If you have any doubts then it probably isn't your time to leave. I think if someone was so desperate to leave this world then they would be able to overcome the survival instinct in methods like jumping for example. If you are living in hell, you no longer care about an afterlife.
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I'm almost certain I'll ctb but I dunno when.
I think if I had SN or N with me, I just might ctb one random day on which I'm feeling really depressed.
 
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deepinlimbo

deepinlimbo

I want to Insert something profound here
May 30, 2021
146
I'm almost certain I'll ctb but I dunno when.
I think if I had SN or N with me, I just might ctb one random day on which I'm feeling really depressed.
Same. Impulsively, I could have done it last week, I literally was shouting and screaming in anger and was so broken. I've read most suicides work when done impulsively. Although I think it depends on the method as well
 
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yive

yive

life is evil
Nov 6, 2020
695
i think we will always have doubts about ctb, and that's ok. everyone who already did it had doubts. i think there will be a point at which we just get tired of doubting and we will do it

Same. Impulsively, I could have done it last week, I literally was shouting and screaming in anger and was so broken. I've read most suicides work when done impulsively. Although I think it depends on the method as well
yes, i think impulse is the key to success [if you have a good and reliable method of course]
 
Last edited:
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
Thats the issue for me i think. Even when im so angry or depressed i never do things impulsively. Emotional explode in 1-2 seconds then my brain keep stopping me to get back to my sense and re think of my action. :ohh:

Preparing the method is making me stress out enough. Back then i thought just phenobarbital is enough i even already bought a lot of it. :'( :'(
I'm almost certain I'll ctb but I dunno when.
I think if I had SN or N with me, I just might ctb one random day on which I'm feeling really depressed.
i think we will always have doubts about ctb, and that's ok. everyone who already did it had doubts. i think there will be a point at which we just get tired of doubting and we will do it


yes, i think impulse is the key to success [if you have a good and reliable method of course]
 
Last edited:
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R

Roseate

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2021
480
I dont think im a spiritual person. I cant find a certain truth if heaven/hell/reincarnation exist. But cant deny if it still affect me a little

But im more scared of the dying process, the pain, how bad it is, what happen after it

ive been reading bout dying, death, etc but still no answer, and from what i read its painful and scary

but the problem is im really cornered to ctb(life issues, health, family, etc) :'(



If its really do able and painless i would

Yeah the other method is hard to do. even researching for it and preparing not to make mistake is frustrating enough and making my mind more crumpled

not encouraging but give tips, suggestion or whatever, how to gather ulbthe courage/bravery/how to be certain about ctb. Its helping cause im truely cornered, have no choice to live. :'(
Maybe you're just not ready for it. Not every suicidal people attempt. And that doesn't make it less valid. I used to be afraid but now I'm not really afraid. I've accepted death and the pain the calmness it brings helps ig cuz I'm sick in the head.
Thats the issue for me i think. Even when im so angry or depressed i never do things impulsively. Emotional explode in 1-2 seconds then my brain keep stopping me to get back to my sense and re think of my action. :ohh:

Preparing the method is making me stress out enough. Back then i thought just phenobarbital is enough i even already bought a lot of it. :'( :'(
Have you ever thought of seeing a therapists? Not a psychiatrist but a therapists? I think that could help. Find a good one. Finding a good one is important, one that knows what the fuck they're talking about unlike the majority who took it as some sort of heroic act crap.
 
Last edited:
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Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
Im in a situation where "ready or not here it comes" im really cornered.

I have a trauma because ive experienced dying a couple of times(health issues, abuse, etc) and its really traumatized for me that my body do whatever it can to avoid it.

But right now im cornered.

Maybe you're just not ready for it. Not every suicidal people attempt. And that doesn't make it less valid. I used to be afraid but now I'm not really afraid. I've accepted death and the pain the calmness it brings helps ig cuz I'm sick in the head.

Have you ever thought of seeing a therapists? Not a psychiatrist but a therapists? I think that could help. Find a good one. Finding a good one is important, one that knows what the fuck they're talking about unlike the majority who took it as some sort of heroic act crap.
isnt it similar to psychologist? I went to many psychologist. No help at all. They gave up, they dont have any solution and say my life is too problematic, some even understand why suicide is rational idea for me even though they say they dont agree with it and say dont(also because law and religion prohibited it)
1 psychologist say "how could you manage to stay alive until now?"
they say they empathize or feel sorry/sad for what happen and can only try to help me to stay strong and encourage me to stay strong.

but i cant keep living in denial and white lies, thats not working. what i need a solution/way out otherwise its the similar as death sentence :'(
 
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R

Roseate

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2021
480
Im in a situation where "ready or not here it comes" im really cornered.

I have a trauma because ive experienced dying a couple of times(health issues, abuse, etc) and its really traumatized for me that my body do whatever it can to avoid it.

But right now im cornered.


isnt it similar to psychologist? I went to many psychologist. No help at all. They gave up, they dont have any solution and say my life is too problematic, some even understand why suicide is rational idea for me even though they say they dont agree with it and say dont(also because law and religion prohibited it)
1 psychologist say "how could you manage to stay alive until now?"
they say they empathize or feel sorry/sad for what happen and can only try to help me to stay strong and encourage me to stay strong.

but i cant keep living in denial and white lies, thats not working. what i need a solution/way out otherwise its the similar as death sentence :'(
For some people, it just takes more tries to find a good one. Most of them just cannot understand. I really don't think it works like that. You might end up is a worse situation than the one you're in currently and I don't think that's what you want.
 
Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
im confused, isnt it sodium bicarbonate(baking soda)?
Cause sodium carbonate(washing soda ash)is used for cleaning, isnt safe for consumption?
confused bugs bunny GIF by Looney Tunes



 
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C

checkouttime

Visionary
Jul 15, 2020
2,899
im confused isnt it sodium bicarbonate(baking soda)? Cause sodium carbonate (washing soda ash)use for cleaning

I don't know about that!! i just noticed you had said you had phenobarbital and i had read that info in the PPH
 
Anonymous 4

Anonymous 4

Specialist
Jun 26, 2021
304
This is only for people who really dont have other choice to live and cornered to ctb
its not encouraging to ctb, its helping the victim



-you can pm pm if posting wasnt allowed-

HOW/WHAT MAKES YOU CERTAIN TO CTB? AND HOW TO ENCOURAGE TO CTB?


how to know if youre making the right choice and death wont be worse than this life/world?

Ive been trying to gather the courage but its very hard but i dont have other choice either so i cant just cancel it...:'(Its frustrating me

i dont know how to push myself? Please i feel so helpless :'(

Eventhough my logic/mind say this is the only choice, i still hold back!
especially since N or F isnt available, it makes it harder to ctb

i have doubts and worries as well(of the process of dying, the pain, death, etc) i cant bring myself to even worse situation than this, for making bad choices:'(
but theres no way i can get a certain answer either.. of which choice is right..
:ohh:
what a crazy life is this :'(
how to know if youre making the right choice and death wont be worse than this life/world

No one can answer this, regarding what's on the other side of life. Weather its the right choice, depends from who's eyes, your death will effect others, if these others understand your reasons then they will still be hurt, but there will be a softening element as they could understand your reasons and felt there was logic to your choice, there are so many variables to consider,

As regards to N, it is available from D is it not?
 
Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
642
My issue isnt because im not ready to leave people/the impact of ctb/their opinion.
I dont bother on what other think of suicide. "Their opinion doesnt matter once youre gone" Also i dont have anyone dearly to me.

Its even the opposite, "suicide is to leave everything and everyone behind" and thats my objective. I dont have anything or anyone im attached to/to keep me from leaving

But the only (the hardest)obstacle for me is dealing with method, dying, and the unknown. Just worried what im bringing myself into and what im going to deal with?? :ohh:


I tried looking for N(install tor and search)found a few sellers, but find N is very expensive for me. :'(and its risky cause im not familiar with payment method and it might not pass the custom inspection. And worry would people open the package and contaminate it. Cause there are 2 times when i order supppement and its opened when i received it.
how to know if youre making the right choice and death wont be worse than this life/world

No one can answer this, regarding what's on the other side of life. Weather its the right choice, depends from who's eyes, your death will effect others, if these others understand your reasons then they will still be hurt, but there will be a softening element as they could understand your reasons and felt there was logic to your choice, there are so many variables to consider,

As regards to N, it is available from D is it not?
 
Last edited:

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