How would you feel if you were diagnosed with Inoperable cancer and what would you do?

[HermitLonerGuy]

Brb, just going to the cancer ward to spread this crumb of comfort.

stop trying to make suicidal and mentally ill people who wish for a way out feel bad, leave this forum if being suicidal and wishing for death offends you.

if you cannot understand why a terminal illness may be appealing to the suicidal people here who dont have a method or afraid of stigma or a ctb method failing and ending up worse or hurting family with ctb then you dont belong here .

I for one would like getting cancer , i have no methods of suicide and i would like having the knowledge of knowing im going to die and it will avoid stigma for suicide and fear of method failure ..

a normie person like you will not understand our thought process , to you it may see edgy .

just like normies wont understand mental illness or sanctioned suicide.

its out bodies, our wishes and our lives.

i have people in my family who died from cancer so i know what its like and im very prone to it.

i will not engage further anymore, reply if you wish but this will descend into further chaos and arguments and we will never convince each other.

have a good day .

 

[ge0rge]

i refuse to read any single post in this thread because i KNOW on a felt level that the takes are complete shit

 

[U. A.]

Splendid. And then people ask why people on the Internet think we're a "death cult" for unfortunate mentally ill people.

Mental illness is not a requirement for being a member of this forum. It is okay not to want to die by any means possible. In fact, being willing to die by any means possible and claiming you have no method doesn't really make sense. There are countless things out there that are very lethal. Which doesn't mean that you have to be willing to accept any of them to be classified as suicidal, or that there is a certain "level of suicidality" that you need to achieve to be allowed to talk about CTB.
While this forum is very open and accepting in terms of allowing you to share your thoughts and feelings, even the really dark ones that are going to get immediately shut down and censored anywhere else, I really don't think it was created for a purpose of being an echo chamber of people that just say how much they want to die over and over again. There are users that do it and nothing else, and that's kind of okay. But it is perfectly fine to have a different approach. To question methods and do research (I don't mean persistent fearmongering, that's a shitty thing to do, but questioning is perfectly reasonable). To explore your feelings and contemplate recovery, and to help others to do the same. To communicate with other people for the purpose of distraction and relieving tension. It is perfectly okay not to want to die shittily, and it is perfectly okay to stay here for a while and realize that maybe you don't want to die anytime soon at all. Or to be unsure if you do.
None of the above implies that someone who will rather have cancer than make their loved ones feel guilty with CTB is a bad or ignorant person. None of the above implies that someone who wouldn't chose cancer is a bad person either.

(yes, I really don't like when people start a discussion then "slam the door" and refuse to engage further, so I am going to comment on posts like that with my opinion anyway)

So many on-the-ball points in this. I am applauding.

Who can possibly even know how they would feel if they got a diagnosis like this? You can speculate but you don't have any way of knowing; maybe if you'd had this happen before you might have an idea, but you could have a different reaction than you expect. I imagine I'd feel pretty fucking awful since the only reason I don't want to be alive is because I want to go back to when I loved being alive, and that seems like an impossibility now, largely due to health issues. I expect it'd be an emotional rollercoaster and yeah maybe there'd be an element of "soon I'll be free from this mortal coil" but it'd likely be overshadowed by the horror of "oh god how much suffering am I going to experience before I get there?".

Do I try to fight it with other treatments or not? Which one(s), for how long, who do I tell, and so on? I followed a Reddit AMA a while back done by a guy who was immobilised by a degenerative disease - I asked about living with it and how he managed, suicide, etc., and he admitted he had previously had rather bad suicidal ideation, but some time after the diagnosis he managed to fall love with life and was happy to keep living out the rest of his likely foreshortened life. Granted he had a solid support circle, but the point is don't think you know everything about a life-changing or ending event when you haven't lived through one. And even then.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Splendid. And then people ask why people on the Internet think we're a "death cult" for unfortunate mentally ill people.

Mental illness is not a requirement for being a member of this forum. It is okay not to want to die by any means possible. In fact, being willing to die by any means possible and claiming you have no method doesn't really make sense. There are countless things out there that are very lethal. Which doesn't mean that you have to be willing to accept any of them to be classified as suicidal, or that there is a certain "level of suicidality" that you need to achieve to be allowed to talk about CTB.
While this forum is very open and accepting in terms of allowing you to share your thoughts and feelings, even the really dark ones that are going to get immediately shut down and censored anywhere else, I really don't think it was created for a purpose of being an echo chamber of people that just say how much they want to die over and over again. There are users that do it and nothing else, and that's kind of okay. But it is perfectly fine to have a different approach. To question methods and do research (I don't mean persistent fearmongering, that's a shitty thing to do, but questioning is perfectly reasonable). To explore your feelings and contemplate recovery, and to help others to do the same. To communicate with other people for the purpose of distraction and relieving tension. It is perfectly okay not to want to die shittily, and it is perfectly okay to stay here for a while and realize that maybe you don't want to die anytime soon at all. Or to be unsure if you do.
None of the above implies that someone who will rather have cancer than make their loved ones feel guilty with CTB is a bad or ignorant person. None of the above implies that someone who wouldn't chose cancer is a bad person either.

(yes, I really don't like when people start a discussion then "slam the door" and refuse to engage further, so I am going to comment on posts like that with my opinion anyway)

Please i dont need your lecture .
id prefer being diagnosed with a terminal illness rather then seek out a method , have stigma of ctb , knowing i will die and risk method failing.

the analogy of being disrespectful for saying i want cancer to cancer patients is akin to saying suicidal people are disrespectful to those who died by accident or other natural causes.

im not here for debates or arguments , think as you wish ,

good day.

 

[Dot]

Slf cn undrstnd th/ dsire fr ctb 2 b takn out of our hnds - thre wld b xtra emotns tht famly wll nt hve 2 fce lke angr & 2 an xtent srvivrs gult & s.i wld nt b an issu n.e. mre

Fr ppl wh/ r afrd of hell & thse knds of aftr-lfe issus tht wld b lss of a prblm

Thnk = also imprtnt 2 remmbr tht thre wll b ppl on sasu bcse of illnss lke cancr & thy wn2 chck-out b4 thngs bcme 2 bad -- mny of thse ppl mght hve lovd & wantd thr lves

Slf hve/hd nn-termnl illnss bt stll chronc & affctd slf lfe on xtrme levl -- ppl wld sy 2 slf 'r s/ lcky 2 jst b abl 2 slp all tme & nt hve 2 wrk' & simlr st8mnts whch r v hrtfl bcse thy hd lfe tht slf wantd v mch

Jst thnk a levl of senstvy & mutul undrstndng wld g/ a long wy whn dscussng specfc illnsss lke ths

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Slf cn undrstnd th/ dsire fr ctb 2 b takn out of our hnds - thre wld b xtra emotns tht famly wll nt hve 2 fce lke angr & 2 an xtent srvivrs gult & s.i wld nt b an issu n.e. mre

exactly this but people are all up in anger : " how dare you wish for cancer!"

 

[Dot]

exactly this but people are all up in anger : " how dare you wish for cancer!

Tru bt thnk u also missd th/ othr 70% of slf cmmnt

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Cancer isn't it my dudes, it's a nasty way to go, paved with torture and suffering. Better die from something like a heart attack or what have you.

 

[LesbianCarpetPython]

I'd do assisted suicide since my state allows for it with terminal illnesses

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Just to be clear, I have no intention to lecture anyone. We're all adults here. I do not insist that you must reply and debate either. I am voicing my opinion on the points that were raised. If you think my takes are shit, feel free to not even read them, like a certain wise person.

Returning to the topic, I don't think that the very fact that you think you'd rather have cancer than be in whatever situation you are in is disrespectful by definition. It's largely about the context. You don't tell a cancer patient you'd rather be in their shoes because you can reasonably assume they are not happy about their situation. Telling anyone who is in severe distress how good they have it and how much you'd like to be in their shoes instead of dealing with whatever you're dealing is disrespectful. Is it okay to have a hypothetical discussion like this on a public forum? Probably, but we've got to be careful not to intentionally antagonize people who might not think cancer is all that great.

How would you feel if you were diagnosed with Inoperable cancer and what would you do?

thats my question and discussion here i didnt ask what others think if its good or bad.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do know where you are coming from. I think a lot of us have wished upon ourselves an incurable illness that would (quickly) relieve us from our lives.

Not so sure cancer is that quick or painless though. I guess it can be but it probably depends on which type. I'm not at all convinced that pain medication is all that effective either. Bearing in mind tolerance to pain meds builds rapidly and they are VERY addictive- so I'm not so sure doctors do 'hand them out like smarties.' Perhaps they don't restrict them so much if they know your illness is terminal though.

As for me, I wouldn't be at all surprised at the diagnosis. Quite a few family members have died of cancer (none had 'easy', particularly quick or 'pleasant' deaths by the way). Honestly, every little ache or pain, I do sort of hope it's cancer but the sort that will act quickly and cause the least pain.

I once went in to hospital with chronic abdominal pain and as a matter of course, they go through family history of diseases. The doctor asked me if I was worried it was cancer and I said: 'No.' Thought it better not to elaborate further but probably did sound a bit odd.

Find it a bit ironic though- so many people here (including me) are very keen on finding the least painful CTB method, yet the majority of us seem to be 'jumping' at the idea of cancer- which would likely be horrendous.

Plus, I can understand why some people are feeling upset and offended by this. Some people here likely want to CTB because they are in constant pain- possibly through cancer. It's going to feel pretty insensitive to them to hear a lot of us jumping up and down saying how 'lucky' they are.

I guess assisted suicide is a more viable option with it I suppose but even that isn't 'easy.' As I understand it- you still need to have one person with you (to identify you before and after). So presumably- you still need to go through that conversation of 'I don't want to fight it- I want to die' with at least one person and you still need to be well enough to travel to the country (if you are not there already) if/ when you have been accepted. I'm not sure the process to access assisted suicide is rapid and I'm not sure doctors would readily agree to it without you accepting treatment first.

I'd definitely have things I'd 'prefer' to getting cancer as a way out but I do understand the appeal to want to go of a natural death over CTB.

 

[SamTam33]

If I can't drop dead for no reason, spontaneously combust, die in my sleep or get crushed to bits by a Mack truck - then being diagnosed with cancer is the next best thing.

I don't care how bad it will feel.

I. Don't. Care.

We can talk about all kinds of methods to dying...in graphic detail. Blowing our heads off and poisoning ourselves. But when it comes to a cancer wish, the pearl-clutching commences.

I'm not sure why that is. Maybe because there are so many people who've been touched by it and they've lost someone they loved. Someone who didn't want to die.

But that's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about being too scared/too incompetent/too cautious to ctb ourselves and see cancer as a means to an end.

Wanting cancer is in no way invalidating the suffering of those who didn't want to die.

Perhaps the question should be, "Would you rather die of cancer in the next few years or live indefinitely in your current state?"

I'm sorry to whoever is offended but I don't want to live indefinitely in my current condition and if cancer presents itself as a contender in my Race To CTB, I'm going to do cartwheels in the parking lot after getting my diagnosis.

Then immediately schedule an appointment to get a second opinion (I'll be damned if I get my hopes up on the assessment of a single doctor).

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

If I can't drop dead for no reason, spontaneously combust, die in my sleep or get crushed to bits by a Mack truck - then being diagnosed with cancer is the next best thing.

I don't care how bad it will feel.

I. Don't. Care.

We can talk about all kinds of methods to dying...in graphic detail. Blowing our heads off and poisoning ourselves. But when it comes to a cancer wish, the pearl-clutching commences.

I'm not sure why that is. Maybe because there are so many people who've been touched by it and they've lost someone they loved. Someone who didn't want to die.

But that's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about being too scared/too incompetent/too cautious to ctb ourselves and see cancer as a means to an end.

Wanting cancer is in no way invalidating the suffering of those who didn't want to die.

Perhaps the question should be, "Would you rather die of cancer in the next few years or live indefinitely in your current state?"

I'm sorry to whoever is offended but I don't want to live indefinitely in my current condition and if cancer presents itself as a contender in my Race To CTB, I'm going to do cartwheels in the parking lot after getting my diagnosis.

Then immediately schedule an appointment to get a second opinion (I'll be damned if I get my hopes up on the assessment of a single doctor).

Yep exactly , if they cant understand why a desperately trapped suicidal person with no methods , fear of failure and stigma of suicide within family would not react normally to the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer well then theyre too thick headed.

My sister already ctb years ago, so this would also lessen the stigma/shame for my parents.

 

[Chinaski]

stop trying to make suicidal and mentally ill people who wish for a way out feel bad, leave this forum if being suicidal and wishing for death offends you.

if you cannot understand why a terminal illness may be appealing to the suicidal people here who dont have a method or afraid of stigma or a ctb method failing and ending up worse or hurting family with ctb then you dont belong here .

I for one would like getting cancer , i have no methods of suicide and i would like having the knowledge of knowing im going to die and it will avoid stigma for suicide and fear of method failure ..

a normie person like you will not understand our thought process , to you it may see edgy .

just like normies wont understand mental illness or sanctioned suicide.

its out bodies, our wishes and our lives.

i have people in my family who died from cancer so i know what its like and im very prone to it.

i will not engage further anymore, reply if you wish but this will descend into further chaos and arguments and we will never convince each other.

have a good day .

Rancid take, hilariously pompous tone. Utter drivel in this thread, like some of the most cringe shit you'd expect a teenage goth to spew up.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Rancid take, hilariously pompous tone. Utter drivel in this thread, like some of the most cringe shit you'd expect a teenage goth to spew up.

if they cant understand why a desperately trapped suicidal person with no methods , fear of failure and stigma of suicide within family would not react normally to the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer well then theyre too thick headed.

My sister already ctb years ago, so this would also lessen the stigma/shame for my parents

 

[Chinaski]

i refuse to read any single post in this thread because i KNOW on a felt level that the takes are complete shit

Bad medical conditions: uwu smol penis

Good medical conditions: actual stage 4 cancer

if they cant understand why a desperately trapped suicidal person with no methods , fear of failure and stigma of suicide within family would not react normally to the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer well then theyre too thick headed.

My sister already ctb years ago, so this would also lessen the stigma/shame for my parents

I'm presently providing end of life care to a loved one riddled with agonising cancer and, as stated in previously, l hope everyone in this thread who wishes for it has their immature and totally fucking stupid dream come true.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Bad medical conditions: uwu smol penis

Good medical conditions: actual stage 4 cancer


I'm presently providing end of life care to a loved one riddled with agonising cancer and, as stated in previously, l hope everyone in this thread who wishes for it has their immature and totally fucking stupid dream come true.

thanks i wish it comes true too.

 

[achromatic]

I really feel like some of you seriously lack either experience or imagination.
Obv when you get incurable cancer you just pop a magic pill and nothing ever hurts also if you want to die you get approved for euthanasia immediately and everyone loves you.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I really feel like some of you seriously lack either experience or imagination.
Obv when you get incurable cancer you just pop a magic pill and nothing ever hurts also if you want to die you get approved for euthanasia immediately and everyone loves you.

ok thanks for sharing your opinion, have a good day.

 

[achromatic]

You too

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

You too

Thanks !

 

[sauan]

I would only be afraid of the pain. When you have cancer the painkillers doesn't work anymore after a stage and I heard that the pain could be excruciating.
In fact, the pain it's the only thing that scares me about death.

But for the rest....

would you be sad? afraid to die? be in denial?

No. I would take it as being my fate and be at peace with myself.

would you try you best to enjoy your last few months?

Yeah, why not?

would it relieve some of the guilt of ctb ?

I don't have that. I take that as my fate.

would you feel the choice to die was made for you for those who are unsure?

No

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Yeah these responses are ridiculous imo. Having watched loved ones die of cancer close-up, it's horrific. Crying out in pain, seizing up from agony, losing so much weight that they're just skin and bones. Becoming delirious and losing their minds towards the end. The suffering is immense and devastating. Pain management becomes difficult if not impossible at one point. Horrendous all round.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Yeah these responses are ridiculous imo. Having watched loved ones die of cancer close-up, it's horrific. Crying out in pain, seizing up from agony, losing so much weight that they're just skin and bones. Becoming delirious and losing their minds towards the end. The suffering is immense and devastating. Pain management becomes difficult if not impossible at one point. Horrendous all round.

if they cant understand why a desperately trapped suicidal person with no methods , fear of failure and stigma of suicide within family would not react normally to the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer well then theyre too thick headed.

My sister already ctb years ago, so this would also lessen the stigma/shame for my parents

 

[theboy]

yes, maybe I would be sad
yes, fear of dying
of course! enjoy my last days
I would feel less guilty

 

[FuneralCry]

if they cant understand why a desperately trapped suicidal person with no methods , fear of failure and stigma of suicide within family would not react normally to the news of being diagnosed with terminal cancer well then theyre too thick headed.

My sister already ctb years ago, so this would also lessen the stigma/shame for my parents

The problem is that some people on this forum assume that suicide is easy for everyone, either because they likely have a reliable method planned or they are not suicidal at all, so they don't understand how hard it can be. The methods that can be accessed depend on the individual and where they live.

Some users on this forum are only here to deliberately make suffering people feel worse and insult them which is so horrible. Unfortunately there is often trolling on here. That is what is immature rather than people's feelings towards this. I think some people have no empathy for others situations, not everyone can instantly order SN and just die whenever they want. Suicide actually is really difficult for many people and if they read the forum they would understand this.

It's completely understandable why a suicidal person would rather die from a terminal illness. Ending up with brain damage from a failed attempt sounds beyond horrifying and it's what I fear. They should try to see it from other people's point of view and if someone would rather die from an terminal illness then they should be able to write about it, without being insulted. If people have a problem with this thread then they should just avoid it.

 

[Chinaski]

Some users on this forum are only here to deliberately make suffering people feel worse and insult them which is so horrible. Unfortunately there is often trolling on here. That is what is immature rather than people's feelings towards this. Best to take no notice of them. I think some people have no empathy for others situations, not everyone can instantly order SN and just die whenever they want. Suicide actually is really difficult for many people and if they read the forum they would understand this.

Why is this relevant and who are you aiming this at? You seem to consider everything which does not fall in with your own [REDACTED] worldview as "trolling" as you continue to set yourself as the arbiter of who's in and who's out of the playground clique, if you see actual trolling in this thread you should go direct in this instance, name names or pack it in.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

It's completely understandable why a suicidal person would rather die from a terminal illness. Ending up with brain damage from a failed attempt sounds beyond horrifying and it's what I fear. They should try to see it from other people's point of view and if someone would rather die from an terminal illness then they should be able to write about it, without being insulted. If people have a problem with this thread then they should just avoid it.

100% agreed with you, you are very smart and a good user on this site ive noticed very articulate.

Why is this relevant and who are you aiming this at? You seem to consider everything which does not fall in with your own [REDACTED] worldview as "trolling" as you continue to set yourself as the arbiter of who's in and who's out of the playground clique, if you see actual trolling in this thread you should go direct in this instance, name names or pack it in.

drop it , you not gonna prove anything.
so edgy bro, you want some big boy points> Chinaski is so smort and better than us all, only his opinions matter, hes always right.
feel better now?

 

[SarRy]

I'd do some things to have a little fun. I've seen it up close and personal a few times. I'd feel like God was telling me it was time to go. I'd speed up my plans. No turning back for me then. I couldn't stand to put the people around me through the struggle like that. I'd take a long walk, a very long walk.

 

[Chinaski]

100% agreed with you, you are very smart and a good user on this site ive noticed very articulate.

drop it , you not gonna prove anything.
so edgy bro, you want some big boy points> Chinaski is so smort and better than us all, only his opinions matter, hes always right.
feel better now?

Idk what your definition of "edgy" is, but pointing out to people who are enthusiastic about the prospects of cancer that they are in fact very ignorant to the reality of death by cancer is not it, nor is it "trolling" to accurately observe the weapons-grade idiocy of such a take.