Watcher

Watcher

Student
Nov 17, 2018
132
I starded sn regimen. And I was aking my self, how would you spent your las hours?

I was talking toprostitute a prostitute, because at least, I want to have a good sextime, at least once in my life
 
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Scribble Fan

Scribble Fan

I'm out!
May 30, 2019
815
I'll enjoy my last meal and tell my younger brother how much he means to me... man, feels like my fingers are filled with lead when typing that.
 
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cornflowerblue

cornflowerblue

Mage
Feb 18, 2019
553
I starded sn regimen. And I was aking my self, how would you spent your las hours?

I was talking toprostitute a prostitute, because at least, I want to have a good sextime, at least once in my life
Completely normal routine I'd do on any other day
 
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Kringle's Curse

Kringle's Curse

Member
May 1, 2019
94
I'll more than likely be drunk as shit crying before I pull the trigger.
 
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Bulletwbttrflywings

Bulletwbttrflywings

My soul is awakened... and I’m f*cked
May 29, 2019
244
I starded sn regimen. And I was aking my self, how would you spent your las hours?

I was talking toprostitute a prostitute, because at least, I want to have a good sextime, at least once in my life
I think I'd spend it reflecting on the good things, looking at good things, and walking out in the woods near water. Stuff that makes me feel closer to the afterlife I dream of. Peace and tranquility.

I think I'd make a video for my funeral and send it in a delayed email to those who would be planning it, and make sure I had everything in order

I'd also throw away my sex toys and burn all of my journals... I'd do as much clean up as possible and make sure the final clean up process was as efficient as possible.

I'd make my last wishes known in a letter - and make sure it was all planned out prior for a "future move day."

I want to make sure I wasn't a burden in death so I can enjoy the final few beautiful moments this earth has to offer. In case there isn't anything to expect in the afterlife. Life can be beautiful, there was plenty of good times.
I'll more than likely be drunk as shit crying before I pull the trigger.
Hugs.... this resonates deeply within my soul...
 
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Xaphous

Xaphous

hikikomori
Nov 11, 2018
550
Isolated as always. If I wasn't jobless and isolated I wouldn't be forced to end it anyway. I need something other than primperan for sn
 
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T

TimeToDie

Mage
Jun 13, 2019
521
I'd also throw away my sex toys...
Good that you bring that up. It might remind some other folks to get rid of a dildo or butt plug that they don't want mom to find! Long ago I knew a woman who didn't own a vibrator because "what if I died and my family found it." As for me, the beneficiary of my will shall find spanking implements -- straps & paddles -- in the house that I'm leaving to her. She's already knows about my interest in BDSM so no secret there.

As for what I will be doing in my final hours, I'm sure I will be in a state of total panic & terror. I suffer from various anxiety disorders so I'm very wound up & nervous 24/7 and that's over ordinary & trivial things. If day-to-day stuff freaks me out I'm sure that the biggest event of my entire life will send me into a whole new dimension of terror. I have serious difficulty giving a blood sample, so how the fuck am I supposed to pull the trigger and make my head explode? I will try to drink some to relax, but that will be a chore rather than a joy since I still can't stand the taste of alcohol.
 
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V

Vegrau

Wizard
Nov 27, 2018
665
Listening to music thinking about what my last thought will be. Scaring myself for no reasons. Yet eventually realize it must end.
 
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Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
Watching something cool to take my mind off it. Too bad I'm already 2/5 through Chernobyl, I probably won't end it for at least a month.
 
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Lol

Lol

nothing much.
Jun 13, 2019
31
Listening to my favorite songs. It helps put me into a calm state, and also bc i love music
 
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blanketyblk

blanketyblk

Mage
Jun 9, 2019
575
If it's at night, which i plan on it being.. spent some time just looking up at the stars and pondering.
 
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Kringle's Curse

Kringle's Curse

Member
May 1, 2019
94
As I'm sitting here I'm balling my eyes out, just wishing to die. I'm empty and broken.
 
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AhG

AhG

La vie est tout sauf un rêve
Jan 24, 2019
313
Hopefully passed out and no worries.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
Listening to music and meditating sound right but most likely I'll be concentrating on not puking 8\
 
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S

Sailfisher

F’ing A
Apr 19, 2019
282
I'd like to be asleep when it happens.
 
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Rukia

Rukia

Enlightened
Jun 3, 2019
1,078
I would probably pray and ask others to pray for me...Just in case... as I am almost atheist now...: :aw:
 
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B

barny

Member
Jun 17, 2019
80
I wish I had someone to spend time with! or say goodbye to.
there is nothing I want to do, I will be lying in a forest hopefully when its warm, on my own, CTB, possibly listening to some depressing music.
 
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puppy9

puppy9

au revoir
Jun 13, 2019
1,238
Clean my room, so that it won't be a hassle for me mom.
 
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Bulletwbttrflywings

Bulletwbttrflywings

My soul is awakened... and I’m f*cked
May 29, 2019
244
Good that you bring that up. It might remind some other folks to get rid of a dildo or butt plug that they don't want mom to find! Long ago I knew a woman who didn't own a vibrator because "what if I died and my family found it." As for me, the beneficiary of my will shall find spanking implements -- straps & paddles -- in the house that I'm leaving to her. She's already knows about my interest in BDSM so no secret there.

As for what I will be doing in my final hours, I'm sure I will be in a state of total panic & terror. I suffer from various anxiety disorders so I'm very wound up & nervous 24/7 and that's over ordinary & trivial things. If day-to-day stuff freaks me out I'm sure that the biggest event of my entire life will send me into a whole new dimension of terror. I have serious difficulty giving a blood sample, so how the fuck am I supposed to pull the trigger and make my head explode? I will try to drink some to relax, but that will be a chore rather than a joy since I still can't stand the taste of alcohol.
I don't want my kids to know. Lol!

But in all seriousness, hugs... sounds like you are really struggling.
 
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Loli

Loli

highly flammable
May 25, 2019
119
Hopefully I'll go to dorms and visit few people, maybe make some phone calls and go to the woods. There I'll be melting because of heat, listening to my favorite music, singing "Birds of paradise". Maybe I'll take some photos with my old, analog camera because why the hell not.
Maybe I'll be crying my eyes out because of overwhelming loneliness and stuff. Or just peacefully watching the clouds waiting for the reaper. Since my anxieties came back I cannot foresee my state of mind.
 
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A

AutumnEmbers

Member
May 2, 2019
93
I'll probably listen to my favourite songs, watch one of my favourite movies and then go for a long walk. Ideally, I'll get to see a beautiful sunset, listen to the birds sing, and gaze at the stars before I go, but whether I'll be able to do so will come down to luck (i.e. the weather conditions on my last night). I imagine that my last moments will be spent thinking about my best (and only) friend and hoping that I'll get to see her on the other side (though I'm an atheist, so it will just be wishful thinking).

I hope you are able to find peace, Watcher.

Watching something cool to take my mind off it. Too bad I'm already 2/5 through Chernobyl, I probably won't end it for at least a month.
I've downloaded Chernobyl and plan to start watching it tonight. Glad to know it's worth watching. :)
 
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KnightOfEnceladus

KnightOfEnceladus

Lost child in time
May 20, 2019
231
@Rukia, no need for atheism, just drop the idea of a conscious, person-like God figure.

People looking for such are like clay pots looking for the uber-pot, the Platonic ideal of the pot, when what they should be looking for is the source of clay.

God just is, and just is pretty much everything. When you die (@Soul and everyone else, this is for you too!) try to visualize something like walking up a slowly-ascending path directly into a huge, bright (but not eye-hurting!) light, almost like "taking a path into the Sun," but imagine that light/Sun is God/Source/The Absolute and that you're going to dissolve peacefully and happily into it.

Try to be listening to nice, soothing, meditative music if you can too.
 
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C

Cleopatra123

Arcanist
Jun 8, 2019
488
My dream: in a tent on Ocracoke Island, off the coast of NC, what a beautiful beach. The water is perfect for swimming. A nice meal, and, since in my dream I know I'll never be there again, say goodbye to the sinking sun and goodnight to the moon and stars. Pray, and listen to music, Mozart's requiem would be appropriate. Just dreaming, LOL.
 
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Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
624
With the kindest girl in my arms .. just lying there holding her and no bs talking .. just that and then say goodbye like normal, drive one last time and then catch the bus to freedom/nothingness.

I've given up on all the things i thought i would have wanted to do one last time. The above is all i wanna do before the end.
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
I starded sn regimen. And I was aking my self, how would you spent your las hours?

I was talking toprostitute a prostitute, because at least, I want to have a good sextime, at least once in my life
I'd like to say in a nice little cottage by a stream in the woods.
I'd spend the day walking and making peace with my thoughts.
In the evening I'd sit by the fire, drink the poison and then fade away like Yoda in Return of the Jedi.
In reality I'll probably be drunk and crying, angry and shouting abuse at the world as I kick out the chair from under me, punching myself in the face, contorted with hate for this rotten, forsaken sphere we infest.
 
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riverstyx

riverstyx

Experienced
May 31, 2019
218
I would like to be outside in nature resting my back against a big rock. Looking at the sunset or sunrise. Drifting off to eternal sleep.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Slowly drifting to sleep forever while watching the northern lights and holding my partner for the last time
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
Waiting... til an hour when everyone is asleep. That's about it.
 

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