How to use alcohol to numb the pain caused by hanging as well as survival instinct; ie how much should I drink and how fast??

[sadsamantha]

I am 100% certain that I want to die. I have a full list of reasons that wouldn't even fit on a single sheet of paper. I've posted about some of them on here before. The problem is, hanging is my only option and I have a very low pain tolerance and despite the fact that I am 100% certain that this is what needs to happen, my survival instinct is still so strong. My noose has been tied to the rafter in my basement for weeks. I wrote out my suicide note weeks ago. I also wrote out the text that I'm going to schedule to be sent to my ex (who I love with all of my heart and can't get over, and he literally encouraged me to kill myself, saying the world will be a better place) 12 hours after I do finally do it, telling him to send the cops to my home to get my body before a family member comes over and checks on me. I have never been a drinker because I used to not be able to tolerate the taste of alcohol at all, so hey we're making progress! I've been trying vodka to hopefully numb the pain. I read on here that it's supposed to give you courage. I sip it. If I drink like 1/4 of a cup, I feel very relaxed and too good to want to do anything. If I drink 1/2 a cup, I start to feel very drowsy and just want to lay down (like I literally don't have the energy to end myself). What am I doing wrong? Should I be drinking it faster or something?

 

[novem]

100ml of 40-degree alcohol (vodka) was the amount Je-zef Stalin assigned to soviet solders who were sent to die in a battle.
It was tested in battle to work against SI.

But. But, no EX is worth of what you are planning to do, so I will not tell you the whole recipe.

 

[missingpeace]

I'm also interested in ways to reduce my SI, I also have the same problem where I need to go and have been at it for some time now. Need to get some sedatives and alcohol too.