How do you stop your SI kicking in? My body has had enough of overdoses that it starts rejecting tablets quite quickly. I go to jump off a bridge but that last moment before going off the edge my body pulls back. I've tried strangulation but again my body won't take the pain. How do I overcome the survival instinct? I'm desperate to die but can't seem too :(
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lanax09
Experienced
- Apr 17, 2021
- 231
choosing more passive, painless methods are good for that although your body seems to now associate taking pills with death so maybe it's not as easy as I seem to think; other than that, you could try to convince yourself that you're not killing yourself or that you will fail, also alcohol's pretty good apparently
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
Only way it worked for me was being evicted and homeless and have noone. Make it so miserable that you almost have no choice. SI very low then. If you fail though you are FUCKED.
In my mind, and from reading Dani (LetzteAusfahrt)'s incredible "don't be afraid of death" post, and another user posting a day or so ago about how death makes life pointless (since we all die anyway eventually, we are just putting off the inevitable, we all go there eventually).
Well, SI is the desire to live is stronger than the desire to not suffer any more.
If the desire to not suffer any more is stronger than the desire to keep suffering, then SI doesn't exist.
So I think (in my rather rudimentary way) that the key to overcoming SI is to realise that living is equivalent to lots more pain, whereas not living is equal to no more pain, instantly (hopefully).
So if you can get to that point, then SI no longer exists.
If you can't get to that point then life is worth living for you?
Well, SI is the desire to live is stronger than the desire to not suffer any more.
If the desire to not suffer any more is stronger than the desire to keep suffering, then SI doesn't exist.
So I think (in my rather rudimentary way) that the key to overcoming SI is to realise that living is equivalent to lots more pain, whereas not living is equal to no more pain, instantly (hopefully).
So if you can get to that point, then SI no longer exists.
If you can't get to that point then life is worth living for you?
The only things that work for me are alcohol and sleeping pills.
At least that worked last year but obviously, I failed.
At least that worked last year but obviously, I failed.
I've been there and I've been that low and I have nearly died. But since then my SI keeps holding me back though :(
Alcohol is a useful factor and I do keep using that, unfortunately my medication is now locked away due to my frequent overdoses :(
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
Oh. That's rough to hear. I'm here too so ye..it was the most effective for me.
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
Hm. I mean with SI that high. You said you nearly died.so you did try? Defo alc an benzos. I dont advocate self destructive behaviour but I think being really fucked will help you. Just make sure it works.
Just make sure you are certain. Omg im such a dick! If you are not dont fuck up too much
Non of my business. But what's your method?
Just make sure you are certain. Omg im such a dick! If you are not dont fuck up too much
Non of my business. But what's your method?
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puppet_nihilist
cogito, ergo sum
- Jan 8, 2021
- 227
Probably depends on the method and how relatively painful/painless it is, but adaptation and habituation to pain and fear from suicide seem to work well. It's like a battle of attrition; your mental strength will dwindle (due to self-harm activities and/or practicing suicide) and you'll adapt more to SI until you'll be able to do it at some point. That, and confidence in your method both go hand in hand because you don't want to be desensitized to SI without having any confidence in your suicide method, that's going to be really rough.
I get that! Going on a motorway bridge has seemed to decrease my SI the more I do it. Yet strangulation seems a better option but the most I've succeeded is passing out. Why can't it just wipe me out? How do I make that one pull work?
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
Strangulation like hanging? Od on tablets is a nono. Jumping is terrifying. I could never do it. Maybe you are not clear about your method?
Dont mean it in a bad way. Maybe you just havent found the right method yet
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I'm not clear on my method and I know that but I'm desperate and will try every method until I find the one but I'll try anything in the mean time
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
I think you should check out the resource section. Find something that suits you. Take some time to find sth suitable for you. Jumping is hard and scary. I understand you are despaired but better to put some time Into it and maybe it will be easier.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 42,522
I personally think for many methods, it takes a certain level of desperation, when the suicidal thoughts have consumed the mind and you cannot think of anything else. I think for methods like jumping theres a certain mental state needed to overcome the SI. I struggle with the thought of overcoming it, because our brains want to survive even know we want to die.
Ramirez
Criminally insane
- Jun 10, 2019
- 396
puppet_nihilist
cogito, ergo sum
- Jan 8, 2021
- 227
I wish I could know that myself. I know that adapting to SI results in almost all of the completed suicide attempts except a few. But that is just the statistics you know. On an individual level, I don't know. I can just sort of ask you some arbitrary questions and see if they can help you figure out where your problem is (assuming you're considering hanging).
Are you confident enough in the strength of your set-up to hold your weight even during convulsions? Have you tried dangling with your noose using your hands with your body completely relaxed (simulating "letting go")? Do you fear failing more or do you fear ending it all more (I know you might probably be fearful of both, but which one is actually making you more hesitant from CTB)?
IWantToGoFast
Member
- Aug 2, 2021
- 59
I think that we can't lie to ourselves. No matter what form our final action takes be it drinking the SN (we drink water 10 times a day), putting the weight down on partial, pressing the trigger etc it is still perceived as violent. It's nearly impossible to sugar coat. I guess it's like giving up smoking, when you're ready you're ready and everything comes natural, and you'll exit like a Pro.
GreenMile
Member
- Aug 3, 2021
- 95
Ambien is the secret to beating SI, a moderator posted about it in another thread, post number 6
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...-in-the-middle-of-the-day.71329/#post-1297725
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