How to stop fantasize about reaction of people after your death

[monolog]

My parents are good people but it's eaither me or them who are gonna live the worst life possible
I won't see their reaction or pain, but my thoughts are overflooded with how certain people would react to my death
I wish I had noone to care about so I could die in peace
Stupid post, you either want to die or not
Damage control is impossible

 

[rolf]

I am in the same position as you. I don't want to hurt the ones I love, but I cannot continue to walk around with this pit in my stomach. I know they will be devastated at first, but I hope they would be able to heal.

 

[Haematemesis]

i would really really like to see people's reaction but I won't be able to

 

[getoutgirl]

Far from a stupid post. I've had those same exact thought hundreds of time and I've also seen a lot of people here share them too. It means you've got empathy and you are a kind and caring person. Incredibly hard most days to even believe that, but it's there. I won't ever get tired of saying this but the fact that while considering your own death you are concerned and worried about how that would affect your loved ones speaks volumes of your character. Others in those painful circumnstances wouldn't even but your humanity shines through. If you wish you could spare them that pain, that you didn't have to pass it on, which is a valid concern, it means you have a good heart. Period.
I can only hope that doesn't have to be the case for you or your parents. I know those thought and they indeed overflow, try and take it easy with them whenever you are able. That's all you can do really but it can make it a lil easier. Lots of hugs your way <3

 

[loser4ever4life]

I live in Canada, where we have MAiD and I wished I applied for it sooner just so I could have the chance to explain this to people, let them know why I'm doing what I'm doing.

 

[Kbeau]

I completely understand. I've spent a lot of time distancing my relationships to minimize the impact for them and make my CTB much easier.