How to not feel anything

[executioner1983]

I've been flooded with an array of emotions these past few days and it's kicking my fucking ass. My parents and I moved into a new house and coming face to face with how many things we own and all the trash we've accumulated over the years has sent me into a spiral. Humans are so wasteful, and this is just my family, multiply it by all the families on Earth and you have a big fucking problem. I seriously cannot go more than a couple hours without feeling terrible and breaking down into sobs. I feel too much. I know too much. I can't fucking function. I need to stop feeling for the sake of my health. I'm a healthy person, I run, I eat well, I make sure to get enough sleep but this bout of sadness or whatever you want to call it is going to drag my health through the gutter. I hate everything. I hate cars, I hate the people in the cars, I hate the houses around me, I hate the people in those stupid houses, and most of all I hate stores. I've always been somewhat sustainable with the way that I live and my efforts have grown tremendously over the years but it feels pointless. Nobody listens to what I have to say. Nobody cares about the waste that they make, they just buy and buy and buy and it doesn't ever cross their minds because of America's trash system. You buy then you trash and a truck comes and takes it away to some la la land where you don't have to look at it so you never realize how much waste you make. But the truth is, every plastic thing you have ever bought is still on this planet, and still will be after your grandchildren's grandchildren die. I can't go outside without feeling sick. I can't go outside without crying or feeling so angry I want to murder everyone on the spot. The air quality is horrible here and I can almost feel all the terrible shit in the air coating my lungs, coating my face, coating my hair. I'm so very close to grabbing my brother's shotgun and blowing my face off. The fact that it's more sustainable than living doesn't help the urge either. I tried going for a run earlier in an effort to feel better but I came back crying instead. I feel like I'm in a burning building and I'm the only one who can see it's on fire.

 

[Yonlux]

I feel bad for your pain, my bestiest votes to you

 

[Topacio]

I hate everything. I hate cars, I hate the people in the cars, I hate the houses around me, I hate the people in those stupid houses, and most of all I hate stores. I've always been somewhat sustainable with the way that I live and my efforts have grown tremendously over the years but it feels pointless. Nobody listens to what I have to say. Nobody cares about the waste that they make, they just buy and buy and buy and it doesn't ever cross their minds because of America's trash system

It's like that.
Day after day, the same old garbage... This world is rotten.

 

[MettleSpirit41]

I can feel your pain through your words but there are some things that you just have to come to terms with. Even when the most influential people in the world try to raise awareness regarding this, there is only a fraction of a fraction of their audience or followers who actively engage in environmentally friendly behaviours. So its not your fault. Its just really very hard to change people's thinking and there are some things that we just can't control. I am an atheist but here a line from the Serenity Prayer comes to my mind:

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference."

We all have to do our part, and change whatever is in our hands. That's all we can do as individuals. You are a gem of a soul. And about the bouts of sadness, I would suggest heavy weightlifting. There are some articles that say it can greatly alleviate symptoms related to depression. Here's the link to an article:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/lifting-weights-might-lift-your-mood

Peace

 

[Old]

I want to stop feeling too. It's annoying...