how to live homeless away from people for six months?

[mxe is the best]

i have two options atm. suicide or live homeless for six months. i want to try to live and get better. i swear if i get better i want to help homeless ppl and ppl with mental health issues, someway somehow.

mainstream treatment is mostly bullshit. i understand the importance of diet and exercise. but i have ashbergers (most likely) with severe ptsd from child hood trauma and abuse from a therapist. i dont trust doctors. or professionals. my mum died a week ago.

ketamine has given major, instant relief to ppl with depression and MXE is 1000x better than that..but real MXE is gone foreever.. why??? it was better for medical purposes, better than ketamine by far. but medical professionals give people electric shock as last resort treatment??? stupid. so stupid,

reishi mushrooms work better than benzos for anxiety.

activated charcoal once every now and then helps depression, as with a glass of distilled water per night before bed.

these simples things and professionals don't even know !! those things helped me the most in life and i have tried it all. in 50 years we will look back and wonder wth we were doing
reishi mushrooms, activated charcoal, distilled water .. not all at once.. and MXE but that is gone for good.

there is treatment for PTSD i heared from a war vet. they invovle injection in the neck, it's new treatment.. a war vet swears by them to help with panic attacks and nightmares. i was sexually abused by my therapist . no one will ever understand the chaos she has brought upon my life it is fucked.


so i want to kill myself.. my method is partial hanging but i guess i will survive that. so next is SN. but i want to give life a shot.


how can i live homeless for six months away from people? i am scared asf idk what to do... all i need is a room with laptop and Youtube and i will be set.. but i dont think i can get that FML.

i wish i could go away for six months and i can get a job when i come back.
what is holding me on to live is my sister and a social worker is helping me . i sometimes have 3 or 4 panic attack per day. anxiety is normal for me. i do not wish getting abused by therapist upon anyone. my mum is dead i miss her., my dad died two years ago. i have to hold on for my sister but it is harder every day.

i want to get better then help others like me,.

i was six months off finishing my degree at Uni but i am so fucked up now. i cant even afford opiates or ill be doing them in a heart beat.

i want to live homeless for six months. where can i sleep --- under a bridge or tree?
god speed and FML.

 

[RitaM]

I'm really sorry about what's happened to you. Are you getting specific support for the sexual abuse, and support around bereavement?

Re ketamine etc for relief: Have you looked into DXM and megadoses of b12?

Re living 'homeless', there are a number of things that spring to mind...

You could buy a converted van and live in it, or convert it yourself

You could get a job at or volunteer at a youth hostel. I think they provide accommodation or if you have a van you can park up and camp in their grounds

You could look into sites like Workaway.com and spend six months with a host
anywhere in the world doing some manual work in exchange for food and accommodation

 

[Jengator]

Have you thought of camping at a camgrouo or somewhere? You'll be outdoors getting fresh air and sun

 

[mxe is the best]

TY for the ideas RitaM

yes i am seeing a doctor for my abuse, with help from my social worker. they know my situation. the doc doesnt understand fully though. and getting a benefit as i couldnt function at Uni to finish my degree. I am lucky to have this. i cannot go to therapy yet as that is where i was abused a year ago and i cannot trust another therapist/ psychologist at this stage.

the sad thing is i want another therapist to abuse me. i want it more than anything else despite knowing the damage it does.. nothing - no drug or high will come close to that pleasure....even in the waiting room waiting for her it peaks, no anxiety, everything slows down, i go into a state of mind. its more than a rush.. it a state of mind, sound becomes muffelled.. i want that feeling again so bad. i would be doing better if i got raped in prison or something because i would know which direction to go to heal.

DXM was ok in very low doses, but ketamine is much better for depression. and MXE is 1000x better than ketamine.

and yeah i have tried big doses of b12 also, there is a lot of b12 in reishi mushroom i believe. reishi mushroom is bomb.



i like those ideas for work, and the website. but i want to just heal alone without people. i know that sound crazy as i know ppl support u to heal etc. i just want 6 month alone. i dont want to be near ppl for 6 months,.

it summer where i am coming up, so i am thinking of putting a tent somewhere in the buush, and have a portiable cooker, and eat good canned food and stuff... just will have no internet, which i need for youtube/ music.. but i hope no one find my tent. this idea is giving me hope. i would love to do this, then come back to society and see a therapist and get a job.

 

[Zzzzz]

If you find yourself homeless, the most important thing is your safety and basic needs like food, water, temperature. It is possible to sleep under a bridge or tree, but depending on the area it could be dangerous. most places you find in the city will very likey already have people living there. If you want isolation, pick areas on the outskirts of town where very few people are. camping in Forests or mountains near town might work also, but you will have to take a trip into town often for food. Protection from rain is important I would say.

 

[mxe is the best]

i miss my mum and my dad . if i ever get through this i want to help others that have been abused by professionals, and i want to help homeless ppl and ppl with mental health probl;ems its no fucking joke. panic attacks are fucked. my sister is keeping me alive and 1 friend i havent seen in 3 years

 

[Jengator]

I found talk therapy to not be helpful for me. It kept going around and around and around in my addictive OCD brain. It was like the therapist and I were fantasizing and ritualizing and it did more harm than good. Sunlight, the outdoors and good food and exercise was better than therapy. You can talk in love with yourself by taking care of yourself. Lots of sunlight

 

[RitaM]

Camping like that is dangerous and you'll be very cold. Have a look at workaway.com, there are lots of opportunities to stay in remote and secluded places as the only worker and you don't have to interact much with your host. I did one myself when my dad died and although it was gruelling at times (-14C) the time and space away from people really helped, plus I didn't have to worry about money or buying food. Only a couple of people knew where I was. If you do see something you like the look of just make sure the host has plenty of good feedback.

 

[Mooseman]

Mentally ill, police hate me, no friends and family turned against me. Wife is planning on booting me out. Have money but renting requires reference and back ground checks. Winter here is cold and wet. Homeless shelters may boot me if they take police advice. Sitting on the couch waiting for a knock on the door. Depression makes things impossible at times. 60 yrs old veteran. Want to sn but afraid it maybe tainted, impure and suffer. Was in mental hospital for 3 months previous attempt. Threw up pills. Tried co but modern cars don't work for that.
Will be hell on streets.