Help How to handle a loved one attempt?

[peternotnice]

I'm starting a psycho therapy soon, but I'd like to know how to handle depression after my bf attempted to ctb (he's getting better and better). I'm a patient person, empathetic too, but I get angry or desperated as he get apart sometimes. I can understand why and everything, it's normal, but it's hard to me to deal with it and it makes me feel bad, like unloved or sth.

 

[RedAlert]

I think you should break up with him and focus on yourself. I hear exercise is very good for you when your depressed, especially doing it with a friend. Being in a relationship with depression is an uphill battle, especially if both individuals are suffering from it, so the chances of the relationship breaking down is very probably.

 

[peternotnice]

I think you should break up with him and focus on yourself. I hear exercise is very good for you when your depressed, especially doing it with a friend. Being in a relationship with depression is an uphill battle, especially if both individuals are suffering from it, so the chances of the relationship breaking down is very probably.

I couldn't do that, he's part of my strength right now. I could start again doing some exercise, that's a good idea.

 

[RedAlert]

You could go exercise with boyfriend i guess. Tell that bf that you care for him and you need him. If he loves you and wants to stay with you then he should stay alive. He needs to get his priorities straightened out because he sounds bewildered and needs to make a decision before he hurts you...ALOT.

 

[peternotnice]

You could go exercise with boyfriend i guess. Tell that bf that you care for him and you need him. If he loves you and wants to stay with you then he should stay alive. He needs to get his priorities straightened out because he sounds bewildered and needs to make a decision before he hurts you...ALOT.

He wants to stay alive now after the attempt. Thanks he survived and realised he wanted to live.

 

[RedAlert]

He wants to stay alive now after the attempt. Thanks he survived and realised he wanted to live.

Oh hes getting better! Oh snap i didn't read that part sorry. What do you mean by this "but I get angry or desperated as he get apart sometimes"?

 

[peternotnice]

Oh hes getting better! Oh snap i didn't read that part sorry. What do you mean by this "but I get angry or desperated as he get apart sometimes"?

He sometimes need some space. Or sometimes he is a just a little bit depressed depending on medicaments withdrawal, so I kind of remember all what happened and start worrying and getting angry for nothing

 

[RedAlert]

He sometimes need some space. Or sometimes he is a just a little bit depressed depending on medicaments withdrawal, so I kind of remember all what happened and start worrying and getting angry for nothing

What kind of activities do you guys do when your together?

 

[peternotnice]

What kind of activities do you guys do when your together?

We live in different cities, but not so far, so we spend weekends together when we can. We go for a walk, watch a film or lunch outside. And when we are apart we play online videogames and use voice chat

 

[RedAlert]

We live in different cities, but not so far, so we spend weekends together when we can. We go for a walk, watch a film or lunch outside. And when we are apart we play online videogames and use voice chat

Oh wow that's pretty cool. Yeah but an exercise routine together wouldn't work when you two are in different cities. If you guys can reserve a spot at an indoor swimming pool or go to a beach on the weekened that would really help improve mental health. It worked best for me when i'm struggling with depression, but its hard to motivate yourself when your doing it alone. That's why i recommend getting him onboard with the idea. Just a weekened thing you know

 

[peternotnice]

Oh wow that's pretty cool. Yeah but an exercise routine together wouldn't work when you two are in different cities. If you guys can reserve a spot at an indoor swimming pool or go to a beach on the weekened that would really help improve mental health. It worked best for me when i'm struggling with depression, but its hard to motivate yourself when your doing it alone. That's why i recommend getting him onboard with the idea. Just a weekened thing you know

Yeah, you livened me up! It's true he's not really up to start doing sport again, since his medication makes him lazy and physically tired, but I can start thinking on making cool plans for both, thx.

 

[RedAlert]

Yeah, you livened me up! It's true he's not really up to start doing sport again, since his medication makes him lazy and physically tired, but I can start thinking on making cool plans for both, thx.

Take it easy on yourselves when going through with these workout routines and daily activities together.

Small steps, small steps, small steps. If you or him are suffering from any sort of social or generalised anxiety try to atleast go to isolated areas within your community where there is not alot of people around so you can atleast get some fresh air which is important.

Keep the online gaming going, play co-operative games that force you to work as a team to solve complicated puzzles or situations. Maintain your daily rites of faith if you two are religious and pray/contemplate together either on the phone or when you meet.

Communication is vital in keeping a relationship going, try to keep unnecessary drama to a minimal and always try to remain at the table when you have an argument. Again give him the space he needs if he wishes to retire for the day and maintain affection through words and most importantly reassuring physical touching like hugging/kisses/ rubbing each others back ect...

 

[peternotnice]

Take it easy on yourselves when going through with these workout routines and daily activities together.

Small steps, small steps, small steps. If you or him are suffering from any sort of social or generalised anxiety try to atleast go to isolated areas within your community where there is not alot of people around so you can atleast get some fresh air which is important.

Keep the online gaming going, play co-operative games that force you to work as a team to solve complicated puzzles or situations. Maintain your daily rites of faith if you two are religious and pray/contemplate together either on the phone or when you meet.

Communication is vital in keeping a relationship going, try to keep unnecessary drama to a minimal and always try to remain at the table when you have an argument. Again give him the space he needs if he wishes to retire for the day and maintain affection through words and most importantly remeasuring pysical touching like hugging/kisses/ rubbing each others back ect...

Sounds perfect. I always have trouble when keeping the drama apart, because I trust him so I start telling him how I feel and all the drama xD I should stop doing that.

 

[RedAlert]

Sounds perfect. I always have trouble when keeping the drama apart, because I trust him so I start telling him how I feel and all the drama xD I should stop doing that.

Telling him how you feel is not a bad thing, its how you convey your feelings to him is what you should focus on.

Like by unnecessary drama i mean some stupid irrelevant thing you guys end up getting into an argument over. For example you allow him put your lipstick on your lips but he mess's up and you end up looking like the Heath Ledger's Joker, something like that, pretty frikin funny though lol but yea.

 

[peternotnice]

Telling him how you feel is not a bad thing, its how you convey your feelings to him is what you should focus on.

Like by unnecessary drama i mean some stupid irrelevant thing you guys end up getting into an argument over. For example you allow him put your lipstick on your lips but he mess's up and you end up looking like the Heath Ledger's Joker, something like that, pretty frikin funny though lol but yea.

Lol haha. Nah, I'm just too negative sometimes due to worrying too much on everything. But I used to be a super positive person.

 

[Stan]

I think you wrote really important things, patience and empathetic. Listen when he wants to talk, just listen. And when he wants the space, don't question it. We all need some alone time to think upon things or even know that we are in a rotten mood and its best to be left alone. Make a real go of your therapy. If your therapist is crap, find a new one. See if you can get recommendations somehow. I wish you luck

 

[peternotnice]

I think you wrote really important things, patience and empathetic. Listen when he wants to talk, just listen. And when he wants the space, don't question it. We all need some alone time to think upon things or even know that we are in a rotten mood and its best to be left alone. Make a real go of your therapy. If your therapist is crap, find a new one. See if you can get recommendations somehow. I wish you luck

Some people told me I should change the therapist if he's crap, but how can I know if he's good? Is the first time I'm going

 

[Stan]

Some people told me I should change the therapist if he's crap, but how can I know if he's good? Is the first time I'm going

Never been to one, but I believe things take time. If you can't build trust or have a connection with one, then I would say thats not a good sign