Venting How to get past hope, and focus on suicide?

[itsamadworld]

HOPE is DOPE! ....that's what they say in recovery..I do both, but mainly just straight dope....true, .If you have hope, it's gonna be more difficult to CBT, i would think so.... even if though most of us know, people will always fail us, but yet there;s still hope...uuuug confusing.....The earth is always be trying to kill us, and we all know we are going to die, so humans react to this, and most (if not all) become very difficult to be around and demanding...Not just people with mental illness..OH...everyone is difficult, in my humble-lack opinion. Though there are degrees of difficulty, but....Anyways, I work in elderly care, and i know things don't get much better with age...The one thing the elderly have better than me, Is they are retired! There's some hope there! Sorry bout that all! :D So all the BS falls on everyone else...Even though i know that I will always be disappointed by human nature, (most likely the rest of my life until my death, whether it be by CBT or not) For me, it's mostly the fear of what awaits....What if it's worse? Like if finally was able to CBT by SN: What if there's some cosmic entity that will punish me for the decision, and make me repeat another life-time on earth?? That's the kinda crap that gets me the most...

 

[Aap]

I think it's helpful to consider what you view as "hope" and "better," their likelihood, and what the opposite side of the coin looks like. Their is a big difference between something not getting better and things getting worse.

Say you were just diagnosed with Alzheimer's but at a very early stage. While things will never get better, your calculus of ctb or not might be vastly different than mine.

 

[nervousandanxious]

That's a good thing if you have hope! I feel like people who commit suicide do it impulsively when too many bad things happen at once. I've been planning it for years but I always have hope that things will improve or make me want to stay. If you're gonna be dead the rest of your life, what's another week or two gonna do ? Like, just stay alive and see if things improve at all before impulsively doing it. Once you're gone, you're gone for good :( . The unknown is what scares me. I'm not sure there IS an afterlife. It can all just be hype to cushion the blow of a death.