How to get over guilt and not feel like a bad person for ctb?

[Volatile]

i was abused as a child and have suffered since as a result. I was adopted into a loving family after the abuse. They've done a lot for me to help me recover, but there is no recovering from what I went through. I would've ctb long ago, but i'd feel like the villain despite being the victim. I'm starting to realize that even with their empathy that they'll never know my pain. I wish I could transfer it to them for a day. Then all would become clear.

 

[Tiburcio]

In my case is a lot easier. I wasn't adopted. I have an excuse for hating my family. They MADE ME.

 

[CRM]

This probably won't help you feel better, but you're not a bad person for killing yourself. If your family is loving, they'll understand that. They may be sad, but nobody will see you as a villain.

 

[RoloTomasi]

I feel guilty about a whole lot of other things, but not much on ctb'ng.

 

[Volatile]

I feel guilty about a whole lot of other things, but not on ctb'ng.

Do you feel guilty for killing Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley?

 

[Smilla]

Guilt arises, I think, when we feel like we betrayed our duty to someone. Remember: life was imposed on you. You deserve happiness and if it's not obtainable in this life, you shouldn't be held accountable for leaving this life behind. Suffering doesn't breed character, most of the time; often, it causes even more suffering. These are obviously existential questions which you will probably never completely resolve but know that wanting an escape from pain is NOT cowardly.

If you can confront yourself directly and say to yourself that you played your hand as best you could, then why feel guilty? Sad, yes, but why the guilt?

I have come to the conclusion that I have no duty to stay alive, and besides my death will benefit others more than my continued sad existence. Luckily I had no children and leave no legacy except some money which will help those I leave behind.

Sometimes loved ones of those who completed suicide express a sense of relief that the loved ones pain is finally over.

Does your family know of your suffering? Mine does.

 

[wezel]

i was abused as a child and have suffered since as a result. I was adopted into a loving family after the abuse. They've done a lot for me to help me recover, but there is no recovering from what I went through. I would've ctb long ago, but i'd feel like the villain despite being the victim. I'm starting to realize that even with their empathy that they'll never know my pain. I wish I could transfer it to them for a day. Then all would become clear.

I am so sorry to hear this.
The older I get the more I am convinced that we often have only a very limited idea of what another person really goes through. Even if they tell you, it is beyond our imagination and virtually impossible to FEEL the same.
You should not ( never ) feel guilty for taking your life, as you are not doing it to hurt anybody but because of intolerable suffering, which is not up for others to measure and judge.
One last thought: the person who did this to you, is he(she) still around ? Is here a chance to go after him(her) ?
I find it very regrettable that they would get away with what they did whilst you take your life because of it.

 

[RoloTomasi]

Do you feel guilty for killing Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley?

Haha what? I better check this out.

 

[Volatile]

Haha what? I better check this out.

It's a great movie

 

[RoloTomasi]

It's a great movie

Will do thanks, I'm a fan of Jude Law as well.

 

[Ashpac]

i was abused as a child and have suffered since as a result. I was adopted into a loving family after the abuse. They've done a lot for me to help me recover, but there is no recovering from what I went through. I would've ctb long ago, but i'd feel like the villain despite being the victim. I'm starting to realize that even with their empathy that they'll never know my pain. I wish I could transfer it to them for a day. Then all would become clear.

Nah, i think theyd understand. It would hurt them, it hurts anyone losing someone they love. They seem like good people for taking you into their family. They will always love you and not want you in pain anymore.

Thats what my family tell me. They will miss me when I do it, but they would rather me not be in pain.