how to feel when your suicide date is closing in?

[dra1ncoreslwt]

this is mostly a question for anyone individually, so feel free to share your own experience, let it out. my date is closing in, but I'm thinking I might most likely not go through with it, what about you?

 

[savoytruffle]

I don't have a set date (hopefully by Christmas or new year's, I'm not seeing another new year) but every time I think about it i get this full feeling in my chest, like excitement or something I can't describe it, id say 95% of that and 5% dread for whoever finds me from my family

 

[Hunter2005]

I will feel happy because I'm pretty close to being free.

 

[Bunnybrains]

Sleepy. Sad. Wanting to hold onto the things that make life so pretty but knowing my hands are covered in oil. Just wanting it to be ovee but feeling like i can nevee get enough bunny snuggles or video games with loved ones. I think- when i finally try again? It will be like laying down and being cradled by death. Heavy nothingness

 

[Octavia]

Kind of resigned. Unforeseen complications have delayed my plans, but I am certain that I will be dying by my own hand within this year.

 

[OceanBlue]

Burdened by the planning stage. It feels like I have a whole wedding to plan before taking such an emotionally heavy step for myself. Makes me want to 'elope' sooner just to avoid doing all that.

Then I feel some regret for things I wanted to do, but had to admit I couldn't.

And I often think about everyone in a similar situation, how we share the same nightmare and how great it would be if nothing existed instead.

It really sucked that I was born (don't have kids people).