Help How to do a cry for help?

[Ixtlilton]

I essentially want to fake my suicide. I'm not sure how though. I don't exactly want to die, but maybe there is a way I can be unconscious for a while with evidence around me that looks like I attempted suicide? Anyone have any ideas?

 

[TotallyIsolated]

You can just OD on something innocuous like paracetamol. You'll be ill but you won't die.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

If you don't actually want to die, I would not attempt any method. There are so many factors at play that can cause those who wholeheartedly want to succeed to fail. Likewise, people "trying it out," "practicing," or calling out for help can accidentally succeed. Even some methods that definitely won't kill you (like paracetamol/acetaminophen) can leave you with permanent health issues.

If help is what you want, the best way is really to ask for help. After a suicide attempt, you'd likely be sent to a psych ward. If that's your desired result, you can voluntarily check in. Otherwise, talking to a trusted family member or friend, or a therapist might be the best bet.

I understand that faking an attempt can send a powerful message, but I don't think you should risk your life for the purpose of dramatic effect, if indeed you want to keep your life.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The issue for me is that you're manipulating others' emotions to get your needs or wants met.

I'd suggest thinking about how you would feel if someone you cared about faked a suicide attempt. Imagine walking in on the scene, freaking out, trying to save that person...and then finding out you felt all that because they had an agenda and they used you for it.

Could you be traumatized over it? If you found out the truth, would you want to kick their ass or maybe never talk to them again?

Your idea could seriously backfire, and if it doesn't, you'll always know how you emotionally hurt someone else to get what it is you're seeking.

And paracetamol is not innocuous by any stretch.



Edit: I noticed in previous posts that you were still in high school as of recently and were going to seek out therapy that was offered through your school, and also that you still live at home. What needs are you trying to get met that you're trying to do so with a cry for help that could seriously hurt your body and also put your relationships in jeopardy? Maybe there's a better solution we can all figure out.

 

[autumnal]

If you don't actually want to die, I would not attempt any method. There are so many factors at play that can cause those who wholeheartedly want to succeed to fail. Likewise, people "trying it out," "practicing," or calling out for help can accidentally succeed. Even some methods that definitely won't kill you (like paracetamol/acetaminophen) can leave you with permanent health issues.

If help is what you want, the best way is really to ask for help. After a suicide attempt, you'd likely be sent to a psych ward. If that's your desired result, you can voluntarily check in. Otherwise, talking to a trusted family member or friend, or a therapist might be the best bet.

I understand that faking an attempt can send a powerful message, but I don't think you should risk your life for the purpose of dramatic effect, if indeed you want to keep your life.

Very strongly agree with this.

 

[watereyes]

Hey there, no matter whether you want to have the 'dramatic effect' to send a message or something else, it won't work.
From my failed SN attempt (found) things got much worse. I was sent to the ward where obviously i was bored as shit but also had meds that caused me to have restless legs and breathing problems (and still do).
People will *not* help you if you attempt suicide. they will treat you as someones who's crazy, who needs to be locked up.
And then eventually, when you do get out, its because they think you are """""""happy"""""".

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Just ask for help. The shock of knowing you're hurting enough to think about dying is enough to hurt some people and/or clue them in to giving you the attention or assistance you need.

Do you want help or are you looking to cause people pain? If you truly want help, just ask for it, in a letter or in person but going to such extremes is not worth the risks.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

you're manipulating others' emotions to get your needs or wants met.

You're not necessarily wrong, but you can describe literally anything this way. Whats wrong with wanting to have your needs or wants met? How can you interact with other human beings *without* manipulating their emotions?

I imagine that OP's family would be shocked to find them having attempted suicide, but you know as well as I do that its not easy to communicate to people who aren't or haven't been suicidal how it feels. Asking for help can be difficult or impossible, and sometimes you can ask for help clearly and directly and people still dont understand.

It hurts very deeply when the people who love you KNOW that you're suicidal and just carry on regardless.

 

[Ixtlilton]

The issue for me is that you're manipulating others' emotions to get your needs or wants met.

I'd suggest thinking about how you would feel if someone you cared about faked a suicide attempt. Imagine walking in on the scene, freaking out, trying to save that person...and then finding out you felt all that because they had an agenda and they used you for it.

Could you be traumatized over it? If you found out the truth, would you want to kick their ass or maybe never talk to them again?

Your idea could seriously backfire, and if it doesn't, you'll always know how you emotionally hurt someone else to get what it is you're seeking.

And paracetamol is not innocuous by any stretch.



Edit: I noticed in previous posts that you were still in high school as of recently and were going to seek out therapy that was offered through your school, and also that you still live at home. What needs are you trying to get met that you're trying to do so with a cry for help that could seriously hurt your body and also put your relationships in jeopardy? Maybe there's a better solution we can all figure out.

Alright, so maybe faking a suicide may not be the best idea. I am just extremely lonely, I am horrible in social situations because of my anxiety disorder. My therapist tells me to just focus on other things. That does not seem like a good solution because I am just distracting myself from my real problems. I am just so lonely. I don't even care for my online friendships, I want real ones. I just suck so much at being social, my anxiety does not let me talk and I kill the mood so much. I honestly hate who I am, I do want to actually kill myself. It is just my very last option. I have been working on myself and there have been big improvements. I am still lonely though. I won't be faking a suicide, but I am not sure how long I can endure being lonely.

You're not necessarily wrong, but you can describe literally anything this way. Whats wrong with wanting to have your needs or wants met? How can you interact with other human beings *without* manipulating their emotions?

I imagine that OP's family would be shocked to find them having attempted suicide, but you know as well as I do that its not easy to communicate to people who aren't or haven't been suicidal how it feels. Asking for help can be difficult or impossible, and sometimes you can ask for help clearly and directly and people still dont understand.

It hurts very deeply when the people who love you KNOW that you're suicidal and just carry on regardless.

I don't like my family at all. We are dysfunctional, and I had a good amount of abuse by both of them. It really shaped who I am, I am not exactly sure in what ways. I just know that it has. I only started to go out last summer, I finally saw what I was missing out on. Then slowly it started to die down, I became depressed. Along with my anxiety disorder, it has been so hard to manage.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

Just ask for help. The shock of knowing you're hurting enough to think about dying is enough to hurt some people and/or clue them in to giving you the attention or assistance you need.

Do you want help or are you looking to cause people pain? If you truly want help, just ask for it, in a letter or in person but going to such extremes is not worth the risks.

I don't know how I feel about reaching out for help. How am I supposed to ask for help? " Hey, I have a mental disorder that amplifies with my mental illness, can you help me go out?" Even if they agree I will ruin the mood with my awkwardness and just general quietness. The more I think about the more I actually want to kill myself.

 

[TAW122]

I agree with @Wisdom3_1-9 @GoodPersonEffed and @watereyes here. I don't think faking one would give you the desired effect, and may make your life even worse. I will suggest just asking for help directly by speaking your mind (but judiciously, as to not raise red flags such that it would result in them taking action against you).

Also, I do feel sorry for watereyes experience of the aftermath of failing SN, including the subsequent treatment that left him/her even worse off. It's disgusting how these professionals can get away with it and little to no way of recourse against them, as they are always seen as correct or good; even if it was possible to gather contrary evidence against them. It's seldomly a battle that could be won.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Please don't attempt to OD like someone suggested especially with paracetamol. Yes, you won't be able to succeed with it but it will be a painful and unpleasant experience and there's always a risk of doing some damage to your health.

i don't know how helpful this is but in another thread, someone posted about not being able to open up to their therapist so someone else suggested to write down everything you're feeling in a journal/letter etc and then give it to your therapist. Could be easier than doing it face to face

 

[Crumbledank]

You can just OD on something innocuous like paracetamol. You'll be ill but you won't die.

paracetamol isn't so innocuous. They could damage their liver, even if not fatal dose.

And death from paracetamol is awful and slow - organ failure.

 

[WearyWanderer]

. I am just extremely lonely, I am horrible in social situations because of my anxiety disorder. My therapist tells me to just focus on other things. That does not seem like a good solution because I am just distracting myself from my real problems.

Hi,

I am sorry to hear that your counselor is just telling you to "focus on other things" because you're right, sometimes that is avoiding the problem. Unfortunately many counselors are not the best and it can take a while to find a good one. But if you're seeing a counselor through your school I understand that there may not be another one.

On that note, is there more than one counselor at your school? If yes, you may think about switching to see if someone else is a better fit for you.

Also, in my personal experience, what helped me some with my social anxiety was reading about psychology, social skills, and gradual exposure therapy online or in books.

Here is one website by a guy who had crippling social anxiety and who is also a counselor:

https://www.succeedsocially.com/

And to address your post about growing up in a dysfunctional family, one thing which I found some help from was reading about boundaries, learned helplessness, and codependency which can all be parts of dysfunctional family dynamics.

Here is an article on boundaries:

https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/

It may be easier to try out the boundary-setting on acquaintances and strangers in smaller situations first because there will also always be pushback when you try to assert a boundary and you will end up repeating yourself multiple times in a row before people listen.

And I understand that sometimes people or family members still don't listen.

I wish I could help and I'm so sorry you're going through all this ❤. I can see why you feel so lonely and isolated and anxious. I grew up in a somewhat similar situation. Life is hard and it's even harder when you have strict parents who don't allow you to go out. I hope my post doesn't come off as telling you what to do too much, I just wanted to let you know that I care and that you're not alone.

 

[Visperidia]

. I honestly hate who I am, I do want to actually kill myself.

I understand feeling like that a lot. You don't want to die but you don't want to exist really either. Your anxiety disorder IS real, but you also have to understand you haven't finished puberty yet, your brain isn't fully developed yet. Who you feel you are right now, may be totally different from who you become in your 20s+. I know myself personally is very different (not necessarily for the best in some cases but everyone is different). I guess all I'm saying is please have hope. Take care of your body and brain and talking to others may become easier. Also maybe try to find an online friend, where you can get to know them online (please verify theyre not a creepy old man) then you can move on to phone calls, then video chats, and finally meeting up. I know that sounds impossible, but it happened to me, and that friend is now my spouse.

 

[Pryras]

You could end up in a psychward or cause
irreversible damage to yourself. If you're desperate for support I would look around for a good therapist or counselling centre in your area and try that first.

I made a clearly half assed attempt awhile back and I knew I wasn't going to die I was just in a bad place. I regret it deeply and the psych ward was not a place I wanted to be in. Doctors laughed, nurses were not empathic at all and I felt worse, as if my cry for help was a joke. So, don't do it! You will regret it and won't get the help you actually need

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Doctors laughed, nurses were not empathic at all and I felt worse, as if my cry for help was a joke

Wow, fuck those people. Any suicide attempt or gesture is serious; you deserved better.

Sorry, let me edit that: you absolutely still deserve better, mate.

 

[Meditation guide]

When you get so down you think about faking suicide or actually doing it it's easy to screw your life up really badly because you stop caring about things you should really take care of. You become more likely to get into trouble, hurt yourself, do things that stay with you a very long time to make your life bad.
You have to force yourself to try to think rationally so you don't make it even worse for yourself.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Do not do this. Not only do you risk permanent damage or death if you make errors, but you are effectively being dishonest about your intentions to manipulate others. I understand your feelings and the fact that you just want people to realize that what you feel is serious, but making it look like you are prepared to end your life when you are not is not the way to go.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I understand where all the replies are coming from

But I must admit I have done exactly what OP is talking about at least a few times. I wont get into details, but no, it didnt work. Got slapped with a section and was still miserable, the only difference being that I was miserable in a psych ward. And felt guilty for my obvious attention seeking.
I cant bring myself to feel bad for the people who found me because they put me through so much abuse
But its most likely that you will just add more pain to your life

 

[Ixtlilton]

Hi,

I am sorry to hear that your counselor is just telling you to "focus on other things" because you're right, sometimes that is avoiding the problem. Unfortunately many counselors are not the best and it can take a while to find a good one. But if you're seeing a counselor through your school I understand that there may not be another one.

On that note, is there more than one counselor at your school? If yes, you may think about switching to see if someone else is a better fit for you.

Also, in my personal experience, what helped me some with my social anxiety was reading about psychology, social skills, and gradual exposure therapy online or in books.

Here is one website by a guy who had crippling social anxiety and who is also a counselor:

https://www.succeedsocially.com/

And to address your post about growing up in a dysfunctional family, one thing which I found some help from was reading about boundaries, learned helplessness, and codependency which can all be parts of dysfunctional family dynamics.

Here is an article on boundaries:

https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/

It may be easier to try out the boundary-setting on acquaintances and strangers in smaller situations first because there will also always be pushback when you try to assert a boundary and you will end up repeating yourself multiple times in a row before people listen.

And I understand that sometimes people or family members still don't listen.

I wish I could help and I'm so sorry you're going through all this ❤. I can see why you feel so lonely and isolated and anxious. I grew up in a somewhat similar situation. Life is hard and it's even harder when you have strict parents who don't allow you to go out. I hope my post doesn't come off as telling you what to do too much, I just wanted to let you know that I care and that you're not alone.

Thanks everyone for the advice, but thank you for giving me resources, I bought the book that the website is based on. Hopefully it will help me.