Discussion How to cope with being dumb when you’re ultra-aware of your dumbness?

[Interdegenerate]

This is my primary objective as of late.

 

[yowai]

Maybe make it into a joke, I'm really bad with math and failed an after graduation exam that's needed to get into any university because of it twice, and I'm super embarrassed about it but now I just joke to everyone and myself that math and numbers overwhelm me to cope lol. Also remembering a lot of people are really dumb in general or maybe consider that you're not actually less intelligent but just really harsh on yourself or that you have some other strenghts instead

 

[Interdegenerate]

Maybe make it into a joke, I'm really bad with math and failed an after graduation exam that's needed to get into any university because of it twice, and I'm super embarrassed about it but now I just joke to everyone and myself that math and numbers overwhelm me to cope lol. Also remembering a lot of people are really dumb in general or maybe consider that you're not actually less intelligent but just really harsh on yourself or that you have some other strenghts instead

You're right. I need to destroy my perfectionism. It continues to ruin a lot in my life. I'm reaching for a too unattainable ideal.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm really dumb if I don't have enough time/energy/motivation to work through several iterations of whatever idea/task I'm doing. Basically, my first draft is often incredibly dumb, my instinct/intuition/autopilot seems to be extremely unreliable. So I can't do anything on impulse or say whatever comes to mind without risk (I had a phase lasting a few years or so a while back where I lived impulsively/recklessly and it was a total disaster). A decade of depression and such I think has damaged my intellect, as well. Also on the input side, I tend to just believe whatever people say (working on it), no matter how insane/stupid, as a default (again, requiring I use a lot of energy and focus to use critical thinking, since there's no good autoimmune response).

So some strategies for me is to take care of myself to have some energy, and to use it wisely. To decide if someone is worth listening to ahead of time (especially online). And to try to give myself time to think things through. Also talking to others/getting info online, if at all possible, could be a good asset to balance out my natural stupidity. Another thing is caring, because of the depression/apathy I'm less likely to care about making mistakes (feeling like everything's already over), which only makes this worse/doesn't motivate me to think hard. So that has to be challenged and maybe replaced with a goal/ideal of being someone who uses his head.

Hope something there helps, best wishes.

 

[Ashu]

You generally grow more and more resigned to everything as you grow older. In advanced old age, the Finnish composer Sibelius wrote in his diary, "Cheer up: death is round the corner."

 

[CutToRelease]

Idk really when I was still in school my parents like most parents insisted I was smart. Never really felt smart. So I believed them tried hard got B and C averages. But stoped caring after a while. Wasn't worthing it felt to much for to little. Then I regretted trying so hard early on. It cemented my parents idea that I was smart. Just made them push me harder. Even if there pushing didn't work in the end. So yeah in summary stop caring I guess idk.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

You generally grow more and more resigned to everything as you grow older. In advanced old age, the Finnish composer Sibelius wrote in his diary, "Cheer up: death is round the corner."

This is me as well

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I used to cope with it by trying to at least give off the impression that I was smart but then I eventually got to a point where I just accepted the fact that I'm a dumb bitch. May as well embrace it rather than try to hide it. Do I like that I'm an idiot who takes longer than others to learn and comprehend basic shit? No. But there isn't much I can do about it so I may as well embrace my stupidity to the fullest degree.

 

[SVEN]

Basically, I just don't care.

 

[niceday]

I had a brain injury that I eventually outgrew and one I felt very ashamed of. I don't know. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe, you're just being too hard on yourself. Do what you love. Keep growing.

 

[suacide]

I think I used to be a smart kid, but then brain fog took over. Honestly these days I can't find the thought to care, but when I become conscious of it, I remind myself that to put it simply: Nothing is gonna happen if you're dumb. It's ok to be dumb. When people think you're dumb, life gets easier.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

This is my primary objective as of late.

if you are generally not that smart at everything,

1) acknowledge it to yourself

2) try to rely on knowledgeable smart people who don't have a financial or emotional incentive to exploit you when providing advice

#2 can be really hard

i've seen sometimes people stumble with this because they can't discern who is smart and just rely on authority. someone i met once who was a crack smoker and extremely religious would often be in bad situations because he would take the advice of both preacher and government and trying to follow everyone, and sometimes the advice was bad and alienated people. just because someone has a degree doesn't mean they are smart. just because they are in authority doesn't mean they are smart.

sometimes, you can ask other smart people if the expert is good. or check to see how you can determine if someone is an expert and good.

i feel like this is an issue for even smart people or people of average intelligence. it can be very difficult to discern between people who both have credentials, especially if one of them is willing to tell you what you want to hear to financially exploit you in desperate times. the fact that someone has credentials, and is possibly even approved by the government to provide advice, does not always mean they are good.

generally, a good approach is to look for specifics of credentials: does this person have peer-reviewed research? where did they go to school and how hard is it to get in (which is usually an indication of intelligence)? does the person have a track record of successful results that is more than just one or two isolated incidents?

Some of the worst mistakes in life involved not listening to highly intelligent advisors. Depression also makes it much harder to do these things because when depressed, it's easier to slip into fantasy, not care about the future, and just hope that things will work out.

If you are thinking you are not intelligent, and genuinely are not (low IQ tests, low test scores, etc), that's a great thing because the world needs more unintelligent people who recognize they are unintelligent, as long as they can understand enough science to discern which experts to follow. This is actually one of the core problems in society.

With global warming, you have many below average intelligence people and middle intelligence people not able to discern which experts on global warming are correct, and also listening to religious teachings that are just lies, and can't really discern what is most accurate and important to recognize as true. The result is many people vote based on religious prejudices over their economic and environmental interests, and it's such a problem that it could end up destroying the entire planet from environmental destruction.

if you are trying to cope with being of low intelligence, congratulate yourself for being among the wise people of lower IQ who recognizes the issue and just do your best to get wise advice from higher IQ people.

then, once you realize you are low or middle range IQ, find out what you want out of life, or what you don't want, and read what experts have to say about how to get there. take a practical approach to getting what you want. do you want money? don't persue high iq professions that will waste time and cost money if you can't get past the IQ barrier to succeed in the profession (ie, don't try to get a physics degree if you have an IQ of 100). Instead, if you have an IQ of 100, don't go to college, get that air conditioner repair training, and then live substantially below your means and invest, invest, invest. Keep your costs low as possible, budget, use the power of math (even if you aren't great at math yourself), and find other ways to get income.

Also remember that IQ is all relative to other IQs. If you have an IQ of 100, you are so, so, so much smarter than someone with an IQ of 85, and if you have an IQ of 85, then you are doing better than someone with a 115 who thinks they understand things better than experts.

Knowing your limits is really the best way to do well, being realistic and pragmatic, then following advice from people who excel in areas you are not great at. There may be things you can be great at, so figure out what those things are, and do those things, if possible.

 

[amerie]

Man, people honestly worry about iq and being "intelligent" a lot more than they should. There's a guy from South Korea or something bragging about having a 200+ iq despite that not even being something you could measure, and a decent amount of people believe it, no one can really tell you're average or maybe even below average unless you're insanely dumb and an inconvenience to others.

Having the ability to communicate and learn anything is a gift that a lot of us take for granted. Who cares if you're not the smartest in the room, if you're someone who can self reflect and make a positive difference in this world, you're a hell of a lot better than those burnt out gifted kids who spend their adult years lost not knowing what their purpose is.

 

[FoxSauce]

If dumb also qualifies as breakong things and clumsyness then yes. I cope by insulting myself, harming myself or at least makes jokes about myself.

Ik deep down I can be annoying and weird. I hate tripping over anything, saying the wrong thing and making a fool out of myself.

I have broken so many things, I font even trust myself with glass beacuse ill break it.

I lack common sense too. Thats what my mother ususally tells me.