How to continue life as a mentally ill mid 20s failure?

[Rocinante]

LDARmaxxing has become to monotonous. I don't have the energy to wage full time or go to school. Life has been underwhelming thus far.
I am a mental subhuman who can't handle the responsibility of life. It is too much effort. There is no point in expecting change if you've experienced failure you're entire life, im destined to it.
It's clear in my mind that some problems are extreme and crippling.

I only talk like this because I have experienced constant bullshit that I cannot (or any normal person) can put up with. It is unhealthy to enter abusive "friendships" where ppl expect u to submit to them.

My social status is zero now and I just wanted to reflect on what caused it (I'm 24) before I drink Nembutal and sleep forever.

It's too late to do what you say. Society is literally completely against me now, I'm trying to find a reason to live.

 

[jruo]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm 27 and am going through at the very least what you explained in your post.
It seems like I'm failure prone no matter what I'm trying to do. I hope you find peace in no matter what decisions you make.

 

[Deo volente]

My social status is zero now and I just wanted to reflect on what caused it (I'm 24) before I drink Nembutal and sleep forever.

It's too late to do what you say. Society is literally completely against me now, I'm trying to find a reason to live.

You could spend an entire natural lifetime trying to figure that out. If you are serious about it though, you probably need a neutral third party like a therapist to dive into your life and work out the true nature of your story with you. At least that's probably the most efficient way. I used to read philosophy to try to understand the world but my brain is way too fucked for that nowadays. That's another way to try understand though, if you are capable.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Life is already hard on itself, other problems just make it worse. If you feel like life is more unfun than fun for you, CTB will always be a better option. Am doing the same before this year ends and if I could not, then I will do it before I turn 25.

 

[Rocinante]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm 27 and am going through at the very least what you explained in your post.
It seems like I'm failure prone no matter what I'm trying to do. I hope you find peace in no matter what decisions you make.

Didn't you try to improved your circumstances and failed too?

You could spend an entire natural lifetime trying to figure that out. If you are serious about it though, you probably need a neutral third party like a therapist to dive into your life and work out the true nature of your story with you. At least that's probably the most efficient way. I used to read philosophy to try to understand the world but my brain is way too fucked for that nowadays. That's another way to try understand though, if you are capable.

No $$$ for therapy, sadly. So that isn't an option

 

[jruo]

Didn't you try to improved your circumstances and failed too?

No $$$ for therapy, sadly. So that isn't an option

I'm unfortunately stuck taking care of my brothers dogs, since he bought an expensive house he cant afford for anyone to take care of them without getting rid of them. I get paid nothing and the second I complain he says he will get rid of the dogs and I get threatened to get kicked out. That's just ONE thing though. I'm so tired of living my life to please other people.

sry for the rant

 

[Deo volente]

No $$$ for therapy, sadly. So that isn't an option

Same :( I used to be able to go back when my parents paid but those days are over. I have tried self-help stuff and learned some things but it's not the same.

 

[sadToast]

hi, fellow mentally ill mid-20s failure here (23/f) & i can feel where you're coming from. its so hard searching for a reason to live and sometimes in the search you just find more reasons to want to die. life is exhausting and trying to find a reason to live is only easier if you actually want to live. and im in that space where the feeling definitely fluctuates. this forum is a good start though, venting really helps here (for me at least) more than my therapist. you can also check the recovery discussion for like minded threads

 

[Undertow Mermaid]

I'm over 30 and mentally ill and a failure.

It wont get better unless you're one of those rare few who somehow are able to pull themselves out of your own void. It's a lot of work and you need a support network but overall the honest truth from a 31 year old woman whose done the gripy sock stay in a mental hospital--it never got better. I want to die every day still and I'm hanging on only for my cats who are old now, waiting for them to die. None of my shit tier family would be able to take care of them since they're all tweakers.

I just get stoned every day, I can't stand being alive unless I'm high.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally believe that not everyone is meant for existing here, I do envy you for having the Nembutal though, to me peacefully exiting this world will always be preferable to being trapped in this cruel world where only more suffering lies ahead.

 

[lumipallo]

Same but 32.
I won't cheer you up because in my experience it also doesn't get better.
The mentally adjusted people keep racing past me and I'm sort of standing still unable to properly take off. And the gap just keeps growing.

 

[nosoul]

44 same, and I have serious health problems, can't sleep or eat, got no sleep 48 hrs maybe 4 hrs

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

24. Things are changing but still feel the same.

It's all about money and attention, when I want neither.

There's always some complaint about me to be made.