How to actually take the steps to ctb?

[nys]

I have everything planned out and I have a good method. There's nothing stopping me from ctb'ing right now but for some reason I can't actually bring myself to do it- I just keep thinking abt it happening but I can't take the steps to do it, so how do I start being more active abt it? I found a suicide bridge near me but I live w my parents and the only time I ever leave the house is bc my parents make me go on walks or make me go shopping w them, so how do I leave the house so I can walk to the bridge? I was wondering if getting into a huge argument with them and then storming off would make it easier bc I'd be more emotional/reckless. I was thinking abt doing that to get myself to actually ctb, but then I realized I didn't want my last moments w my parents to be like that, so what do I do?

 

[Worndown]

A lot of people get the mechanics worked out easily. Now you need the drive to do it. As far as I know that is somewhat spontaneous and really cannot be prompted. When it is really time you will do it.

 

[Everydayismisery]

As far as leaving the house goes you can literally *just walk out the door* at any point in time. Or have a nice day with your parents and sneak out. Idk your circumstances though. As far as actually doing it, you need to be ready and even then when you get to the bridge survival instinct will kick in even if you're dedicated. That's why most of us are still here I believe, definitely me at least. I think alcohol helps people not give a fuck and actually do it. I might need to try that tbh.

 

[nosurpries]

if you find yourself unable to initate the steps to do it, maybe this isn't the right time. don't take this the wrong way, but maybe there is something subconciously stopping you, some part of you that doesn't want to do it. i'm not telling you what to do or what choice is right, but having second thoughts is normal and i would explore that. i hope you find peace in whatever you choose.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like you cannot force yourself to feel ready, only you know when it is the right time to leave, I believe that it is a feeling that the person has. Suicide really is so difficult and more than anything I wish that it is easier to leave. I think that many people are able to go through with it when they get so desperate and the pain of living gets unbearable and this allows them to overcome the SI. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Nirrend]

Preparing ourselves for such acts isn't really easy.

Firstly, i won't encourage you or anything

I think that like others members said before, when you'll be ready, you will know it !

If that could help you, i'm writing everyday since 4th July, the states of mind through which i pass in a thread "Death Diary" and i plan to write this up until my ctb. The objective is to understand how work a suicidal crisis, to prepare ourselves (but in the thread, more precisely myself, because i do not force anyone) and to detect when someone think that this is the d day.

I wish you peace no matter what the choice you'll make <3

 

[la fin de tout]

As far as leaving the house goes you can literally *just walk out the door* at any point in time. Or have a nice day with your parents and sneak out. Idk your circumstances though. As far as actually doing it, you need to be ready and even then when you get to the bridge survival instinct will kick in even if you're dedicated. That's why most of us are still here I believe, definitely me at least. I think alcohol helps people not give a fuck and actually do it. I might need to try that tbh.

I've been training my alcohol tolerance lately, finally getting to a point where I black out and forget a large portion of my night, I think this is a viable way to deter survival instincts

 

[Lost Magic]

I think when a person has had enough out of life and they can't find a meaningful path forward then suicide is always an option. I believe that it's completely up to each individual to make up their own minds about that. It's not something I would encourage nor discourage. It's whatever is right for that person. It will never be an easy decision to make because our bodies are programmed to survive. Our levels of suffering tells us a completely different story though.