How tf do people with shitty lives even make it to their thirties

[Canttakeitanymore]

I cant even imagine making to the end of the year

 

[Symbiote]

Because they grow numb to anything, and then time flies. Pretty soon you'll be in the 40s, then 50s, then 80s, and if you're lucky Guinness World Record for Oldest Person and they'll ask you what's the secret to a long life and you say, "Whatchu talkin bout Willis? I've been trying to die since I was in my 20s"

 

[Tackingintothewind]

You keep finding reasons to postpone your ctb until you are there.
I want to see that movie
I want to see if I can get this job
If I take this course it might help
What if I go to hell etc
Then you make an attempt and you fail...
Then you are under close watch

Or to some people death is just not an answer.

My dad had a really shitty childhood but it never once crossed his mind. Mind you its probably the reason he joined the military. He didn't care if he died.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm 33 and trust me, I have no idea how I managed to live this long in spite of being suicidal since I was 12.

 

[Last chance]

Im 37 and I have made it this far because life got better for a while,I thought everything was going to be ok and then I was quickly reminded that this wasnt in fact true.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I didn't have a humane method to end my life for nearly a decade and gave up eventually. Existing in a almost completely numbed out state makes it easier to cope in some ways.

 

[hfdepression30]

I still remember being 15, sitting on my bed and thinking about how much I want to die and that I can't imagine living til I'm 30. I'm 30 now. I don't know how I got here honestly. My last serious attempt was on my 20th birthday back in 2010 and after I moved into my sisters and got a cat, I decided I have to at least try. Start changing all the things that are upsetting me, making me feel down or insecure and start taking risks to try and find some kind of purpose or meaning. Once I was working, it just became routine.. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't necessarily sad, even though I had continued depression. I was just a high functioning depressed person. Then I quit my job, went back into education, started university and then dropped out around the start of COVID mostly due to debilitating mental health and stress. Now I'm not working or studying, and I don't really see much in the future.. I just want to leave

 

[watchingthewheels]

I cant even imagine making to the end of the year

"Life finds a way." - Jurassic Park

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I just started cutting up a good length of my rope and am trying to find the sweet spot without getting visible marks on my neck somehow. 23. As previously stated I don't have a good method and partial requires skill and a lot of determination. The backup is carotid slashing, which also requires skill and determination.

I'm not very determined, and I am certainly not skilled.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Coping mechanisms:

- Some forms of escapism like music, TV shows, sex, drugs, alcohol, traveling, sugar, sleeping, video games, ...
- Emotional compartmentalisation. Memory repression. Social conformity.
- Religion: believe in some kind of "greater good". Fear of hell.
- Family restraint: they want to die but they don't want their loved ones to be sad, so they decide to keep living.

 

[hfdepression30]

Coping mechanisms:

- Some forms of escapism like music, TV shows, sex, drugs, alcohol, traveling, sugar, sleeping, video games, ...
- Emotional compartmentalisation. Memory repression. Social conformity.
- Religion: believe in some kind of "greater good". Fear of hell.
- Family restraint: they want to die but they don't want their loved ones to be sad, so they decide to keep living.

Mhm, escapism through watching streams on Twitch and YouTube has often been a big distraction from suicidal thoughts and acting upon them for many years, mostly because I was always in some kind of routine. However, my real life situation is getting worse and to the point I need to do something about it..

 

[RedHarlequin]

I am 29 and I have no idea how I got this far. My first suicide attempt was 15 years ago and I never thought I'd get past 17/18. I really never imagine I'd get this far. I think a big part of it is hope. Hope my depression can get better, even though I is have been living with it for 17 years and it has only gotten worse and worse.

 

[Last chance]

I just started cutting up a good length of my rope and am trying to find the sweet spot without getting visible marks on my neck somehow. 23. As previously stated I don't have a good method and partial requires skill and a lot of determination. The backup is carotid slashing, which also requires skill and determination.

I'm not very determined, and I am certainly not skilled.

Pad it with a towel or something.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I am 30 next month. I am only still here because of certain medications and my mother looking after me. If I was on my own I would certainly be dead.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Pad it with a towel or something.

Yeah, it'll still become red, I think. I need a shit ton of pressure to get my carotids, apparently. Need to practice in the woods in the same way as a real attempt, guess one of my practice runs could just kill me and then I'm done with this shit.

 

[hfdepression30]

Yeah, it'll still become red, I think. I need a shit ton of pressure to get my carotids, apparently. Need to practice in the woods in the same way as a real attempt, guess one of my practice runs could just kill me and then I'm done with this shit.

I haven't seen much information about it, but I become curious whether most hanging suicides are done impulsively or preplanned, and if they were sober or whether alcohol/medication was involved. I'm drinking red wine today to try and shake off the initial nerves and SI so I can attempt later on. I'm a guy who regularly does 'grooming/light makeup' anyway so even if I fail I can cover any marks if they're visible

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm a guy who regularly does 'grooming/light makeup'

Do you have an e-husband yet?

 

[justanotherstar]

I've just turned 33 and honestly no idea how or why I am still here. When I was in high school all the kids made bets that I wouldn't make it to my 15th birthday. Well I was like BAM MOTHERFUCKERS - I was just there in body though. I have been dead inside for a very long time. Maybe that's how we make it because we're already gone inside. Developing bad coping mechanisms and making poor life choices helped also. I honestly wish I didn't care so much about people because it would make it easier to walk away but I can't cut out that part of me that loves people

 

[hfdepression30]

Do you have an e-husband yet?

O_O; Nope?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

O_O; Nope?

Ok, just checking.

 

[hfdepression30]

I've just turned 33 and honestly no idea how or why I am still here. When I was in high school all the kids made bets that I wouldn't make it to my 15th birthday. Well I was like BAM MOTHERFUCKERS - I was just there in body though. I have been dead inside for a very long time. Maybe that's how we make it because we're already gone inside. Developing bad coping mechanisms and making poor life choices helped also. I honestly wish I didn't care so much about people because it would make it easier to walk away but I can't cut out that part of me that loves people

Relatable, relatable. Maybe it is because we already feel dead inside. Also those jerks who said that about you in high school make me furious. I hate people like that..

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I've just turned 33 and honestly no idea how or why I am still here. When I was in high school all the kids made bets that I wouldn't make it to my 15th birthday. Well I was like BAM MOTHERFUCKERS - I was just there in body though. I have been dead inside for a very long time. Maybe that's how we make it because we're already gone inside. Developing bad coping mechanisms and making poor life choices helped also. I honestly wish I didn't care so much about people because it would make it easier to walk away but I can't cut out that part of me that loves people

If I want to survive I think I'll have to start drinking.

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

I'm turning 22 in a few weeks and I feel like I've been alive for half a century lol. I honestly commend anyone who has made it to 30. They claim the 20s are the best years of your life and I can't even stomach completing my 20s. By the time I turned 20 I was already checked out of life tbh

 

[justanotherstar]

Relatable, relatable. Maybe it is because we already feel dead inside. Also those jerks who said that about you in high school make me furious. I hate people like that..

Thanks it's taken me a long time to realise they were jerks. For a good while there I thought it was acceptable. Yes I think there is definitely something to already feeling dead inside, I think it's that part of me that drives me to CTB

If I want to survive I think I'll have to start drinking.

I relate. My daily addiction of choice is food, I hate it. If drugs were legal that would be my choice I think

 

[Sensei]

I am 29 and I have no idea how I got this far. My first suicide attempt was 15 years ago and I never thought I'd get past 17/18. I really never imagine I'd get this far. I think a big part of it is hope. Hope my depression can get better, even though I is have been living with it for 17 years and it has only gotten worse and worse.

I think this is the most important factor. It's a cliché, but hope is the last thing to die. I think we're programmed to keep on fighting even when the odds are extremely bad.