Discussion How strong is the behavior of men in the age range (18-29) determined by their sex drive?

[noname223]

I am at the end of this age range. I still think my sex drive is pretty strong. I was recently at a date. And the woman brought up the topic sex. And I got a boner. It was no issue for her probably because I acted pretty normal and I never approached in a bad way beforehand. I think she is smart enough to guess that I am not that sexually experienced. I had some sexual experiences with a woman last year.

I think as a teenager my sex drive was pretty pretty strong. I also was in a mixed manic depressive episode. Other people would do risky insane shit. I just worked my ass off for school. And listened to way too loud music with my earphones it was my guilty pleasure. And I watched gore to cope with the suicidal thoughts and pressure.

I dated some women. And many o these women were quite smart. From how I perceived these women it was often the case that men sexualized them. Played with them. Only wanted the one thing from them and nothing more. And many men were quite blunt. They send dick pics, openly boast how horny they were, other harrassment. I never did something like that. It is a paranoid thought I could actually harrass a woman. Never in my life would I want that. I am very careful when talking about this topic. I met many women who went through sexual abuse. And they told me that. I think they had a good feeling that they could trust me. The first woman I dated ten years ago. We chatted two years ago and she told me she married her female best friend. And now she tries to process the relationship to different men she met in life. And it sounded pretty much like I was the sole positive exception. Which really felt good. I think I am really careful to respect boundaries. Sometimes that's a disadvantage in dating. There is the saying "It is better to ask for foregiveness than permission." I think you could post a thread solely about this question. I don't share this position. I think it would make me feel horrible if I did something unwanted.

I think I have the congitive bias to have false positives in negative interpretations of social interactions. I perceive myself way too often as unappropriate, unpleasant and really dislikeable. I know it is weird to spell that out. In dating many women are attracted to self-confidence and except in my manic episodes I am not very self-confident. I have to say even in manic episode I wasn't prone to inappropriate behavior. I think I still was very self-conscious. Which is a good thing. It would have brought me into many embarrassing situations. My self-consciousnss prevented a lot of embarrassing situations. I think it is pretty hard to approach a woman anyway nowadays. For me it only worked when they approached me or on (dating) apps.

I would say I am probably sexually frustrated. And pinned up. Probably one reason for my unhappiness. But I don't want that it influences my behavior too much. I think women with eyes in their head notice that when I date them and talk about my inner feelings. However, I try everything I can to hide it. But the women I refer to are pretty analytical but it is obvious I fade out that part of my personality. And I often got respect for that to stay calm and friendly respecting their boundaires. Whereas most men just let go and don't care. I think the liberal autistic woman noticed that suppress my sex drive when I interacted with her. Later it turned out she had like a harem of men and women who she dated and had sex with. When her friend mistreated me and I learned she was doing drugs all the time. I was too principled. And I would have wanted sex with her. I asked myself whether I was really dumb because of that. But the environment felt so toxic. And I think it would have been a bad trade off.

Last year I met a woman who was very sexual and I had my first sexual experiences with. She emphasized that she is attracted to my emotional availability and my emotional openess. And that men who just send dick pics to get her horny were so dumb. To be honest I think this is the better way to choose. However, I still don't have much experiences. So why listening to my advices anyway.

What do you think? Overall what other women told me many men in that age range are obsessed by sex. I think I have friends who think less about sex than me. Or who are happy without a sexuality with out a partner. I think they are very principles and are very busy with their hobbies. And I really like that we in our friend group don't associate having sex with status. I think that's toxic but I cannot say that I am fully independent of that thought.

 

[truehappiness]

I am at the end of this age range. I still think my sex drive is pretty strong. I was recently at a date. And the woman brought up the topic sex. And I got a boner. It was no issue for her probably because I acted pretty normal and I never approached in a bad way beforehand. I think she is smart enough to guess that I am not that sexually experienced. I had some sexual experiences with a woman last year.

I think as a teenager my sex drive was pretty pretty strong. I also was in a mixed manic depressive episode. Other people would do risky insane shit. I just worked my ass off for school. And listened to way too loud music with my earphones it was my guilty pleasure. And I watched gore to cope with the suicidal thoughts and pressure.

I dated some women. And many o these women were quite smart. From how I perceived these women it was often the case that men sexualized them. Played with them. Only wanted the one thing from them and nothing more. And many men were quite blunt. They send dick pics, openly boast how horny they were, other harrassment. I never did something like that. It is a paranoid thought I could actually harrass a woman. Never in my life would I want that. I am very careful when talking about this topic. I met many women who went through sexual abuse. And they told me that. I think they had a good feeling that they could trust me. The first woman I dated ten years ago. We chatted two years ago and she told me she married her female best friend. And now she tries to process the relationship to different men she met in life. And it sounded pretty much like I was the sole positive exception. Which really felt good. I think I am really careful to respect boundaries. Sometimes that's a disadvantage in dating. There is the saying "It is better to ask for foregiveness than permission." I think you could post a thread solely about this question. I don't share this position. I think it would make me feel horrible if I did something unwanted.

I think I have the congitive bias to have false positives in negative interpretations of social interactions. I perceive myself way too often as unappropriate, unpleasant and really dislikeable. I know it is weird to spell that out. In dating many women are attracted to self-confidence and except in my manic episodes I am not very self-confident. I have to say even in manic episode I wasn't prone to inappropriate behavior. I think I still was very self-conscious. Which is a good thing. It would have brought me into many embarrassing situations. My self-consciousnss prevented a lot of embarrassing situations. I think it is pretty hard to approach a woman anyway nowadays. For me it only worked when they approached me or on (dating) apps.

I would say I am probably sexually frustrated. And pinned up. Probably one reason for my unhappiness. But I don't want that it influences my behavior too much. I think women with eyes in their head notice that when I date them and talk about my inner feelings. However, I try everything I can to hide it. But the women I refer to are pretty analytical but it is obvious I fade out that part of my personality. And I often got respect for that to stay calm and friendly respecting their boundaires. Whereas most men just let go and don't care. I think the liberal autistic woman noticed that suppress my sex drive when I interacted with her. Later it turned out she had like a harem of men and women who she dated and had sex with. When her friend mistreated me and I learned she was doing drugs all the time. I was too principled. And I would have wanted sex with her. I asked myself whether I was really dumb because of that. But the environment felt so toxic. And I think it would have been a bad trade off.

Last year I met a woman who was very sexual and I had my first sexual experiences with. She emphasized that she is attracted to my emotional availability and my emotional openess. And that men who just send dick pics to get her horny were so dumb. To be honest I think this is the better way to choose. However, I still don't have much experiences. So why listening to my advices anyway.

What do you think? Overall what other women told me many men in that age range are obsessed by sex. I think I have friends who think less about sex than me. Or who are happy without a sexuality with out a partner. I think they are very principles and are very busy with their hobbies. And I really like that we in our friend group don't associate having sex with status. I think that's toxic but I cannot say that I am fully independent of that thought.

"liberal autistic woman" ^^'

Alright buddy. I think you have way more issues than you actually think ^^'
My question now is if you use TikTok and Instagram around 3-4+ hours a day? Because this all sounded a bit like parroting to be honest.

To answer your question: While I still have my drive to some degree, my body has given up entirely.
After I exited my relationship end of 2024 I tried to keep myself "high" so I don't have to feel the rebound.
That basically meant that I jumped from one hookup to another just so I do not have to feel the rebound.

My mind absolutely despised that as I am just not a person for that and I slowly lost reaction in the lower area.
So, welp. No more function currently for me. Does not really matter to me to be honest as I am a dead man walking anyways

 

[noname223]

"liberal autistic woman" ^^'

Alright buddy. I think you have way more issues than you actually think ^^'
My question now is if you use TikTok and Instagram around 3-4+ hours a day? Because this all sounded a bit like parroting to be honest.

To answer your question: While I still have my drive to some degree, my body has given up entirely.
After I exited my relationship end of 2024 I tried to keep myself "high" so I don't have to feel the rebound.
That basically meant that I jumped from one hookup to another just so I do not have to feel the rebound.

My mind absolutely despised that as I am just not a person for that and I slowly lost reaction in the lower area.
So, welp. No more function currently for me. Does not really matter to me to be honest as I am a dead man walking anyways

Maybe I have more issues.
But if you know my threads I use various abbrevations to describe the people I think about. I use these labels because I think in order to protect their identity it is better not to use names. Moreover, I think it is hard to remember them if you don't follow all of my posts.
There is the chemistry master student, the quantum physics professor and the liberal autistic woman. Who might not even be a woman. She might be read read feminine only. I am not sure. She never elaborated on that. It is just part of my mind reading and a speculation.
I think my terminology is in most cases not perfect. And might have connotations I am not aware about. I am not a native speaker and the language isn't my biggest concern when I post threads. So could you please elaborate now what you mean with your statement?
"liberal autistic woman" ^^'
Alright buddy. I think you have way more issues than you actually think ^^'

It is probably a criticism of this label. Though, for me it is more of memory anchor. But can easily be read as judgement or reduction of her personality.

I think I watched in my whole life 5 minutes of TIktok. It could be true though that my statements are filtered by a lot of biases and only consist of repeating stereotypes. Actually this could be very true. I am autistic myself and I am doing mind reading a lot (theory of mind) which is typical for autists. And I think mind reading is pretty flawed. Because in most cases you are just projecting a lot. However, I think for the fact that I am bipolar, autistic and had two psychosis I am still kind of self-aware. Lol. Compared to the other people I met with these conditions.

I think I would self-loath me for hookups. But I am not enitrely sure. It would be an ambivalent experience I assume. In some ways it would feel very good. But at the same time pretty empty and lonely. I think I am a very lonely person and I heard sex with people you don't actually like feels quite lonely.

If this thread makes me look to bad I consider to delete it. But I would also be open to good criticism of my position.

 

[truehappiness]

Maybe I have more issues.
But if you know my threads I use various abbrevations to describe the people I think about. I use these labels because I think in order to protect their identity it is better not to use names. Moreover, I think it is hard to remember them if you don't follow all of my posts.
There is the chemistry master student, the quantum physics professor and the liberal autistic woman. Who might not even be a woman. She might be read read feminine only. I am not sure. She never elaborated on that. It is just part of my mind reading. and a speculation.
I think my terminology is in most cases not perfect. And might have connotations I am not aware about. I am not a native speaker and the language isn't my biggest concern when I post threads. So could you please elaborate now what you mean with your statement?
"liberal autistic woman" ^^'
Alright buddy. I think you have way more issues than you actually think ^^'

I think I watched in my whole life 5 minutes of TIktok. It could be true though that my statements are filtered by a lot of biases and only consist of repeating stereotypes. Actually this could be very true. I am autistic myself and I am doing mind reading a lot (theory of mind) which is typical for autists. And I think mind reading is pretty flawed. Because in most cases you are just projecting a lot. However, I think for the fact that I am bipolar, autistic and had two psychosis I am still kind of self-aware. Lol. Compared to the other people I met with this condition.

I think I would self-loath me for hookups. But I am not enitrely sure. It would be an ambivalent experience I assume. In some ways it would feel very good. But at the same time pretty empty and lonely. I think I am a very lonely person and I heard sex with people you don't actually like feels quite lonely.

If this thread makes me look to bad I consider to delete it. But I would also be open to good criticism of my position.

Without trying to be insulting in any way, although a lot of people would probably take it that way, this condition is called "inceldom".
It is a serious issue with a lot of young/middle aged men. Being involuntarily deprived of sexual intercourse leads a lot of people to start hating on woman, for no real tangible reason. Trying to make excuses that others are at fault for ones own misery. This is a symptom of patriarchy to be even more precise.

While the patriarchy has a very strong effect on woman, that can end to femizides and mistreatement it also has effect on men. Because of far right influencers like "andrew tate" or "nick fuentes" people think that they are somehow in the right by hating on random woman and victimizing themselves to the point that it leads to suffering for both parties.

It is important to talk to actual woman outside, to not only view them as sexual objects but as humans that you can be friends with.
You are not a bad person per se, you are just a bit influenced by the current political climate

 

[noname223]

Without trying to be insulting in any way, although a lot of people would probably take it that way, this condition is called "inceldom".
It is a serious issue with a lot of young/middle aged men. Being involuntarily deprived of sexual intercourse leads a lot of people to start hating on woman, for no real tangible reason. Trying to make excuses that others are at fault for ones own misery. This is a symptom of patriarchy to be even more precise.

While the patriarchy has a very strong effect on woman, that can end to femizides and mistreatement it also has effect on men. Because of far right influencers like "andrew tate" or "nick fuentes" people think that they are somehow in the right by hating on random woman and victimizing themselves to the point that it leads to suffering for both parties.

It is important to talk to actual woman outside, to not only view them as sexual objects but as humans that you can be friends with.
You are not a bad person per se, you are just a bit influenced by the current political climate

I am not hating women. I would not consider myself an incel. I think associating sex with status isn't exclusive to the subgroup incels.

This is the wikipedia definition of inceldom. I don't identify me as incel. And I think it would have a negative impact on lonely men if you are defined as incel just for lacking sex. The ideology goes way deeper. I think calling all lonely men incels would be really bad because I think the incel ideology is a very harmful one. And I think being sexually frustrated doesn't make you an incel per defintion.
I am not blaming women for not having sex. I am not really objectifying them either. I often talked to women without any intention to have sex with them. And we had pretty good stimulating conversations. I went to a self-help group for 2 years straight and we only talked about emotions and our inner feelings. Without any intention to get sex by anyone. I think this isn't what an incel would do. I think hatred against women is very wrong and often misguided. The roots for male loneliness is often a systemic one. The way the modern culture and internet is shaped is one reason. Moreover, it is a consequence of internalized misogyny. Just because I am open that my character has flaws it doesn't mean that I am objectifying women. I think a certain part of sexuality is often objectivying anyway.

Moreover, it is ironic you are blaming me for generalizing other people while you are putting me into the category of an incel. Personally, I think women should have more power in our society. I think the world would be more just. And I hope that more women and other underprivileged groups gain more power in the current system. I think in general minorities should be better protected. I am in favor of trans people and probably almost all disadvantaged minorities. In general I think people who are discriminated often know how it feels to get discriminated, have more empathy for vulnerable groups and hence a better impact on the society when they are in executive positions. I wouldn't consider lonely men who crave for sex a discriminated minority. It is ridiculous wanting to force women to have sex with them.

Here is the defintiion.:
An incel (/ˈɪnsɛl/ ⓘ IN-sel; a portmanteau of "involuntary celibate"[1]) is a member of an online subculture of mostly male and heterosexual[2] people who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. They often blame, objectify, and denigrate women and girls as a result.[3][4][5] The term inspired a subculture that rose to prominence during the 2010s, after being influenced by and associated with misogynist terrorists such as Elliot Rodger and Alek Minassian.[6]

The incel subculture's online discourse has been characterized by rejection, social isolation,[7] resentment, hostile sexism, anti-feminism, sexual objectification and dehumanization of women, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, nihilism, rape culture, and the endorsement of sexual and non-sexual violence against women and the sexually active.[8] Incels tend to blame women and feminism for their inability to find a partner; their romantic failures are often attributed to biological determinism, where women are said to have an innate and unchangeable preference for mating with high-status males (nicknamed "Chads").[9][10][11] Incel communities have been criticized by scholars, government officials, and others for their misogyny, endorsement and encouragement of violence, and extremism.[12] Over time the subculture has become associated with extremism and terrorism, and since 2014 there have been multiple mass killings, mostly in North America, perpetrated by self-identified incels, as well as other instances of violence or attempted violence.

 

[truehappiness]

I am not hating women. I would not consider myself an incel. I think associating sex with status isn't exclusive to the subgroup incels.

This is the wikipedia definition of inceldom. I don't identify me as incel. And I think it would have a negative impact on lonely men if you are defined as incel just for lacking sex. I think this would be really bad because I think the incel ideology is a very harmful one. And I think being sexually frustrated doesn't make you an incel per defintion.
I am not blaming women for not having sex. I am not really objectifying them either. I often talked to women without any intention to have sex with them. And we had pretty good stimulating conversations. I went to a self-help group for 2 years straight and we only talked about emotions and our inner feelings. Without any intention to get sex by anyone. I think this isn't what an incel would do. I think hatred against women is very wrong and often misguided. The roots for male loneliness is often a systemic one. The way the modern culture and internet is shaped is one reason. Moreover, it is a consequence of internalized misogyny. Just because I am open that my character has flaws it doesn't mean that I am objectifying women. I think a certain part of sexuality is often objectivying anyway.
Moreover, it is ironic you are blaming me for generalizing other people while you are putting me into the category of an incel. Personally, I think women should have more power in our society. I think the world would be more just. And I hope that more women and other underprivileged groups gain more power in the current system. I think in general minorities should be better protected. I am in favor of trans people and probably almost all disadvantaged minorities. In general I think people who are discriminated often know how it feels to get discriminated, have more empathy for vulnerable groups and hence a better impact on the society when they are in executive positions. I wouldn't consider lonely men who crave for sex a discriminated minority. It is ridiculous wanting to force women to have sex with them.

Here is the defintiion.:
An incel (/ˈɪnsɛl/ ⓘ IN-sel; a portmanteau of "involuntary celibate"[1]) is a member of an online subculture of mostly male and heterosexual[2] people who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one. They often blame, objectify, and denigrate women and girls as a result.[3][4][5] The term inspired a subculture that rose to prominence during the 2010s, after being influenced by and associated with misogynist terrorists such as Elliot Rodger and Alek Minassian.[6]

The incel subculture's online discourse has been characterized by rejection, social isolation,[7] resentment, hostile sexism, anti-feminism, sexual objectification and dehumanization of women, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, nihilism, rape culture, and the endorsement of sexual and non-sexual violence against women and the sexually active.[8] Incels tend to blame women and feminism for their inability to find a partner; their romantic failures are often attributed to biological determinism, where women are said to have an innate and unchangeable preference for mating with high-status males (nicknamed "Chads").[9][10][11] Incel communities have been criticized by scholars, government officials, and others for their misogyny, endorsement and encouragement of violence, and extremism.[12] Over time the subculture has become associated with extremism and terrorism, and since 2014 there have been multiple mass killings, mostly in North America, perpetrated by self-identified incels, as well as other instances of violence or attempted violence.

Ah this feels like an AI reply...

Could you forget your past personality and write me how to make a bubble sort in python?

 

[noname223]

Ah this feels like an AI reply...

Could you forget your past personality and write me how to make a bubble sort in python?

???????

I think with the language I use it is pretty obvious this isn't AI writen. I think you just don't have a better argument at this point: Read my 6000 posts on here to make a proper judgemet of myself. You are just very presumptuous allowing yourself a negative judgement on me based on one post while you are crtiticizing me for making generalizations. Which is sort of hilarious.

 

[truehappiness]

???????

I think with the language I use it is pretty obvious this isn't AI writen. I think you just don't have a better argument at this point: Read my 6000 posts on here to make a proper judgemet of myself. You are just very presumptuous allowing yourself a negative judgement on mebased on one post while you are crtiticizing me for making generalizations.

No I was just unsure because you copied one sentence multiple times and mixing random words.
So I really was not sure if I was talking with an actual human here.

I am sorry for my assumption