How much ‘unlucky’ is too much ‘unlucky’?

[Ozzyno]

When I talk to pro life happy 'people' about my problems one of the main things they come up with is their explanation on my encounters and the kind of treatment I get from 'people' living this shithole: unlucky.

What I am wondering is, how much of this could be really unlucky and instead it's just that 'people' will enjoy step up on my emotions and spit on me when they find out that I unfortunately have a golden heart?

It's not the right or wrong 'people', it's me, it's just me, at 26 years old, just received shit from others because I deserve it, never being recognised from my dad because I deserve it, being laughed at by my brother and him shitting on me publicly for years ruining my possibilities of having relationships because I deserve it.

This is hell I cannot go on like this for many years to come. I just want it to be over. I want to fill my apartment with my own blood. I don't deserve love, I don't deserve friends. Why can't people be physically aggressive as much as they are emotionally aggressive towards me? Just kill me I don't want to suffer for ever.

 

[Mirrory Me]

I am sorry. Life has those unlucky moments (Like your sister stealing your first savings at a young age so you never learned to save money) but holding a grudge for someone (who you aren't able to control) would solve issue though. Supporting and focusing on your own life and goals could turn it better over time. It could take time to make things better, so making plans and some vision boards could help you keep focus on stuff you need to work on. And then it's also good to treat yourself to something nice occasionally (I made a little cabinet where I keep the money for alcohol, treats, etc just in case. I just put there 10 euros weekly.).