I hear you @Raven Moon, I am in the exact same situation, all it needs is for him to come back and let me come back home. I will kill myself over him, he was the only one who has ever managed to hold my broken mind together, and effortlessly so. He didn't need to do anything, except walk into the room and look at me. Every time I see him, my face still lights up like a Christmas tree. He is my whole world, and now that he is gone, there is no world anymore. The rest of the world without him can go to hell, I'm already there.