notjustyetagain

notjustyetagain

Oct 28, 2019
169
8,409,525,418,001,523,917,721 planck-loves.
 
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noctiva

noctiva

the invisible girl
Nov 6, 2019
393
All I would need is my ex to come back and actually love me and marry me...just him. I'm stuck on him he is the only one I wanted. Now before someone says "you should never kill yourself over a man" him leaving, cheating and discarding me was just the nail in the coffin. I have dealt with years of mental, physical and health issues and severe abuse and trauma. Him loving me was what was keeping me alive and giving me hope for a better future...now it's all gone.
I hear you @Raven Moon, I am in the exact same situation, all it needs is for him to come back and let me come back home. I will kill myself over him, he was the only one who has ever managed to hold my broken mind together, and effortlessly so. He didn't need to do anything, except walk into the room and look at me. Every time I see him, my face still lights up like a Christmas tree. He is my whole world, and now that he is gone, there is no world anymore. The rest of the world without him can go to hell, I'm already there.
 
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Ness

Ness

They/Them pronouns, please
Aug 28, 2019
248
Oh, wow, I got to admit I've never even thought about this question? But I guess my answer would be "none" because it can't be healed. Even the very idea of being loved makes me feel bad, I get scared and I feel guilty that anyone's wasting their time on me at all. I avoid making friends as best as I can because why waste my time when it's not going to matter in the end? And friends drift away so even if I lived for another ten years, in those ten years I'd end up with no friends all over again.

And having someone love me romantically? What a terrifying concept, no one should ever do that.
 
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MourningHeart

MourningHeart

Oct 26, 2019
82
All I would need is my ex to come back and actually love me and marry me...just him. I'm stuck on him he is the only one I wanted. Now before someone says "you should never kill yourself over a man" him leaving, cheating and discarding me was just the nail in the coffin. I have dealt with years of mental, physical and health issues and severe abuse and trauma. Him loving me was what was keeping me alive and giving me hope for a better future...now it's all gone.

I hear you @Raven Moon, I am in the exact same situation, all it needs is for him to come back and let me come back home. I will kill myself over him, he was the only one who has ever managed to hold my broken mind together, and effortlessly so. He didn't need to do anything, except walk into the room and look at me. Every time I see him, my face still lights up like a Christmas tree. He is my whole world, and now that he is gone, there is no world anymore. The rest of the world without him can go to hell, I'm already there.

This describes so well the feelings i have.

To heal my heart, it would require the identical love again that just broke it. Otherwise, scars will be left. My heart is still bound and reserved the place, which can only be fulfilled from the same beloved one which it belongs to. There are no other treatments for that.

My wife means everything to me in this world! She saved me when i gave up on this meaningless life and already tried to kill myself back then. She is the only reason why im still alive right now. She is a miracle, my holy angel. I feel a deep bond with her. Just herself being there gives me a reason to struggle through live, to smile - even now. But to know, she is not coming back, makes me really wish not to be born in the first place... i would miss the moments with her. I see no purpose of life - this is just existence.
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I hear you @Raven Moon, I am in the exact same situation, all it needs is for him to come back and let me come back home. I will kill myself over him, he was the only one who has ever managed to hold my broken mind together, and effortlessly so. He didn't need to do anything, except walk into the room and look at me. Every time I see him, my face still lights up like a Christmas tree. He is my whole world, and now that he is gone, there is no world anymore. The rest of the world without him can go to hell, I'm already there.

This describes so well the feelings i have.

To heal my heart, it would require the identical love again that just broke it. Otherwise, scars will be left. My heart is still bound and reserved the place, which can only be fulfilled from the same beloved one which it belongs to. There are no other treatments for that.

My wife means everything to me in this world! She saved me when i gave up on this meaningless life and already tried to kill myself back then. She is the only reason why im still alive right now. She is a miracle, my holy angel. I feel a deep bond with her. Just herself being there gives me a reason to struggle through live, to smile - even now. But to know, she is not coming back, makes me really wish not to be born in the first place... i would miss the moments with her. I see no purpose of life - this is just existence.

I want to give you both a big hug. I hate that anyone has to feel this soul crushing feeling. I dont think that most people understand how we only want our partners back and ONLY them. No other love can replace them you just cant replace a unique individual. Im so thankful I have SS to come to, without this place I would be completely alone. If either of you or anyone else going through this ever want someone to talk who understands feel free to pm me.
 
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Crushed_Innocence

Crushed_Innocence

Hungry Ghost
Oct 16, 2019
423
have to truly start the process by finding love within, which is the hardest thing in the world to do sadly.

I don't think that's possible for everyone. But I suppose for those where it is still a possibility, it must be hard.
The kind of love I need to heal does not exist -- at least not in my culture or society. I accept that. I'm okay with it. I am an example of how a ruined childhood really can DESTROY a persons hope and chance of love and happiness. Tragic indeed.
 
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