How much longer do you plan to be alive?

[MaybeSoon]

When I turn 30 I plan to kill myself. I will kill myself outside and not at home.
1) Drowning myself in the river Thames or a large lake in London.
2) Overdose in a nature area
3) Carbon monoxide in tent
Still deciding
I cant live for another 10 years anymore.

How old are you now if you don't mind me asking? I was adament I wouldn't live past 30 and now I'm 36 lol.

 

[FireFox]

In three years time, as I'll be turning 30. People I know from high school are successful in life, career or family-wise. I have nothing. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my own skin.

Exactly how I feel too. I dont talk to people I know any more because I have not got anything going for me. Imagine being a teeanger having all these dreams and then reaching your mid twenties and thirties having achieved nothing .

Every day it kills me. After my birthday last week I now realise there is no going back and my suicide is inevitable.

 

[MaybeSoon]

Exactly how I feel too. I dont talk to people I know any more because I have not got anything going for me. Imagine being a teeanger having all these dreams and then reaching your mid twenties and thirties having achieved nothing .

Every day it kills me. After my birthday last week I now realise there is no going back and my suicide is inevitable.

I don't want to be that guy cos I'd be a fucking hypocrite.. which I am.. and I am that guy... but there are people who were just as old , and actually a lot older who found huge success, looks at Ricky Gervais for example.

 

[FireFox]

How old are you now if you don't mind me asking? I was adament I wouldn't live past 30 and now I'm 36 lol.

I am 24 but I have been depressed since 21. After my birthday I am even more determined to die.
If people listened to me all these years ago I would be alive but no nobody wanted to listen everyone constantly dismissed how I felt.
I never going to find a job , find love , be independent

My birthday has shown me there is nothing good in my life. I am dead inside. I dont belong in this world and am tired of feeling bad every day.

I don't want to be that guy cos I'd be a fucking hypocrite.. which I am.. and I am that guy... but there are people who were just as old , and actually a lot older who found huge success, looks at Ricky Gervais for example.

I have thrown my whole life away . I cant take it anymore. I feel so sick and tired. I cant stop crying at how everything is a mess. I realise it is never going to get better.
I dont want to see the next 10 years

 

[MaybeSoon]

I am 24 but I have been depressed since 21. After my birthday I am even more determined to die.
If people listened to me all these years ago I would be alive but no nobody wanted to listen everyone constantly dismissed how I felt.
I never going to find a job , find love , be independent

My birthday has shown me there is nothing good in my life. I am dead inside. I dont belong in this world and am tired of feeling bad every day.

We are similar as my downfall and breakdown first occured at 21. I had suicidal thoughts wayyyyy before that though. Don't want to sound like a pro lifer but I'm 36 now. I've spent so many years wishing to die that I haven't lived at all.. Try to stop blaming it on other people (yes they're pricks and make it harder) but at the end of the day it's your life, you're 24 though and have more than enough time to do what you want to do? Even living on benefits (welfare if you're American) You'll be able to afford travel eventually if you save and who are you to say people wont fall in love with you? it's not your choice to say you'll never find love. As for being independent, maybe you will be maybe you wont. I certainly never have been. But you wont be alone with that, not on todays climate. Its not just us suicdal types that are struggling with that. Anyway I'm rambling and need sleep lol. But I wish lots of people on here find happiness that I wont. Especially people under 30. There's so much more that can happen. The early 20s is such a head fuck as well.... You feel like you have to conform to societal norms and mirror your peers but that's bullshit. I hope things work out for you and I wish you the best of luck. As I do with everyone else on here.

 

[FireFox]

We are similar as my downfall and breakdown first occured at 21. I had suicidal thoughts wayyyyy before that though. Don't want to sound like a pro lifer but I'm 36 now. I've spent so many years wishing to die that I haven't lived at all.. Try to stop blaming it on other people (yes they're pricks and make it harder) but at the end of the day it's your life, you're 24 though and have more than enough time to do what you want to do? Even living on benefits (welfare if you're American) You'll be able to afford travel eventually if you save and who are you to say people wont fall in love with you? it's not your choice to say you'll never find love. As for being independent, maybe you will be maybe you wont. I certainly never have been. But you wont be alone with that, not on todays climate. Its not just us suicdal types that are struggling with that. Anyway I'm rambling and need sleep lol. But I wish lots of people on here find happiness that I wont. Especially people under 30. There's so much more that can happen. The early 20s is such a head fuck as well.... You feel like you have to conform to societal norms and mirror your peers but that's bullshit. I hope things work out for you and I wish you the best of luck. As I do with everyone else on here.

Thank you I hope you find happiness too. I want everyone here to find happiness. I cant carry on any more everyday is just awful. I wish I wasn't this way.

We are similar as my downfall and breakdown first occured at 21. I had suicidal thoughts wayyyyy before that though. Don't want to sound like a pro lifer but I'm 36 now. I've spent so many years wishing to die that I haven't lived at all.. Try to stop blaming it on other people (yes they're pricks and make it harder) but at the end of the day it's your life, you're 24 though and have more than enough time to do what you want to do? Even living on benefits (welfare if you're American) You'll be able to afford travel eventually if you save and who are you to say people wont fall in love with you? it's not your choice to say you'll never find love. As for being independent, maybe you will be maybe you wont. I certainly never have been. But you wont be alone with that, not on todays climate. Its not just us suicdal types that are struggling with that. Anyway I'm rambling and need sleep lol. But I wish lots of people on here find happiness that I wont. Especially people under 30. There's so much more that can happen. The early 20s is such a head fuck as well.... You feel like you have to conform to societal norms and mirror your peers but that's bullshit. I hope things work out for you and I wish you the best of luck. As I do with everyone else on here.

Thanks you so much. My early 20s have been so awful i feel like I have wasted my life not achieving things I am supposed to within that age group. It is so hard we live in a culture which magnifies success by people within thier early 20s. When I read a time magazine cover of a 20 years old changing the world , forbes under 30 list

I feel like a failure and wasted my life. I am terrified I am going nowhere in life.

No one in my life understands this.

 

[Fthis]

F this,you're in high school? That's too young to be thinking cbt! F that! Try to get help.

Yeah, no. I've wanted to die since I was 6, attempted at 8, nothing is going to change. Also I was held back a year in elementary so I should've graduated a year ago. I don't even want to "get better" and we're going to die anyway.

 

[Happy deathday!]

Until Thursday morning.

 

[quiet.rabbit]

Until I get my AE. Or dont get it and just use the OTC Meclizine I just ordered. Depends on if the package is lost.

 

[popuoh]

F this,you're in high school? That's too young to be thinking cbt! F that! Try to get help.

Suffering doesn't differentiate between ages, getting help doesn't always mean it'll get better and they're over 18 now so why is that too "young" to be thinking about ctb ? Don't you have to be over 18 to join this website?

 

[MaybeSoon]

Thank you I hope you find happiness too. I want everyone here to find happiness. I cant carry on any more everyday is just awful. I wish I wasn't this way.

Thanks you so much. My early 20s have been so awful i feel like I have wasted my life not achieving things I am supposed to within that age group. It is so hard we live in a culture which magnifies success by people within thier early 20s. When I read a time magazine cover of a 20 years old changing the world , forbes under 30 list

I feel like a failure and wasted my life. I am terrified I am going nowhere in life.

No one in my life understands this.

You're far too young to have wasted anything. You're still building experience.

Thank you I hope you find happiness too. I want everyone here to find happiness. I cant carry on any more everyday is just awful. I wish I wasn't this way.

Thanks you so much. My early 20s have been so awful i feel like I have wasted my life not achieving things I am supposed to within that age group. It is so hard we live in a culture which magnifies success by people within thier early 20s. When I read a time magazine cover of a 20 years old changing the world , forbes under 30 list

I feel like a failure and wasted my life. I am terrified I am going nowhere in life.

No one in my life understands this.

The forbes under 30 lists is a massive exception to the norm (and you're only 24!) lol you will definitely make yourself depressed if you hold yourself to that standard. Life is about luck sometimes remember that.. You're 24 and have more than enough time to figure out what you're good at and what you can achieve. Look at how old JK Rowling and Ricky Gervais were when they found purpose and success. JK Rowling was suicidal and on benefits whilst she wrote Harry Potter... You might have wasted time in your opinion but you've got a lot left to make it up if you want. Best of luck to you.

 

[FireFox]

You're far too young to have wasted anything. You're still building experience.

The forbes under 30 lists is a massive exception to the norm (and you're only 24!) lol you will definitely make yourself depressed if you hold yourself to that standard. Life is about luck sometimes remember that.. You're 24 and have more than enough time to figure out what you're good at and what you can achieve. Look at how old JK Rowling and Ricky Gervais were when they found purpose and success. JK Rowling was suicidal and on benefits whilst she wrote Harry Potter... You might have wasted time in your opinion but you've got a lot left to make it up if you want. Best of luck to you.

Thanks
I dont even know where to begin anymore?
That is my problem. I wake up at 1pm as i can't sleep. I have no motivation to do anything. I was motivated when I was a student at university but after graduating i just lost focus. My family dont help either.

I never had a job and I believe I am at a huge disadvantage. I believe I am unemployable forever. I am never going to overcome this insecurity.

I feel so sick and tired of everything.

 

[inthemoonblue]

I'm turning 27 soon. I better not make it past that number, that's all I know.

 

[keyakizaka]

i was going to ctb may 9th but it rained and my method is outdoors. im planning on doing it this saturday but i dont know for sure. im kinda just waiting for my life to magically become better lol

 

[Sans]

Until I can get my hands on a shotgun or find a good tree to swing from. If I make it to my 21st birthday, then maybe I can try to turn to drugs and alcohol to make my problems go away, but if that doesn't work, then I don't have any other failsafe.

 

[lex]

Hopefully before I turn 30. I'm 26 now, but with how the last couple of months went, I might be going a lot sooner.

 

[BottomlessPit]

F this,you're in high school? That's too young to be thinking cbt! F that! Try to get help.

Young people are not second class citizens. Everyone deserves a peaceful exit from this shithole, why would they have to suffer but older people not? Also, you are in no position to evaluate if someones life is worth living or not, only the person themselves can make that decision. You can't claim to know anything about their situation and world view.

 

[Hattywacky]

Hopefully, before Julys out, try and have a decent summer, and bow out in good spirits.
That or drag myself through another winter till my saving are diminished. I hope I have the courage for the first option.

OD in a forest sounds like bliss....

I always think that, then the image of bugs getting in me whilst I'm od'ing freaks me out. But if I was od'ing I'd be non the wiser.

 

[TheYounger]

About 2 months. I've got like 40 grams of sodium azide in a bottle ready to go. I just need to add water and down the hatch it goes.

 

[ClownMe]

i think my absolute maximum would be 40, but i doubt that I will even make it that far to be honest.

 

[Bedrock48]

Since things have improved over the last 24-48 hours maybe till the end of the year although thanks to my good old friend bpd that could change pretty easily.

I plan to get my kit for CO completed within a couple weeks though just for security.

 

[Beachedwhale]

In three years time, as I'll be turning 30. People I know from high school are successful in life, career or family-wise. I have nothing. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my own skin.

Are you me?

Exactly how I feel too. I dont talk to people I know any more because I have not got anything going for me. Imagine being a teeanger having all these dreams and then reaching your mid twenties and thirties having achieved nothing .

Every day it kills me. After my birthday last week I now realise there is no going back and my suicide is inevitable.

Same here

I don't want to be that guy cos I'd be a fucking hypocrite.. which I am.. and I am that guy... but there are people who were just as old , and actually a lot older who found huge success, looks at Ricky Gervais for example.

Those people are the exception

 

[emptyinside]

Until next monday. I have my kit ready. All I have left to do for now is motivate myself and write an explanation letter to parents.

 

[Adamsnolife]

Hopefully not too much longer.

 

[KleinerWolf]

as long as I'm able to.

 

[Stroopwafel.]

I'm waiting for my SN to arrive. I'll be alive for at least a few more weeks, few more months max.

 

[demuic]

It completely depends on what's going to happen. If certain things don't turn out right or something messed up again, I won't be able to live with myself, I can barely face any problems right now. I have a huge issue I'm avoiding right now which could ruin many things..

At the earliest it could be until the end of this year or beginning of next year.

 

[Last Caress]

Today is my last day alive. I am feeling happy to unchain myself and become free and eternal. I love you guys, and I mean it, we don't know each other and I haven't interacted with you but I read everything and all of you are so beautiful! I hope they have good coffee on the other side.

 

[Suicide_1992]

Today is my last day alive. I am feeling happy to unchain myself and become free and eternal. I love you guys, and I mean it, we don't know each other and I haven't interacted with you but I read everything and all of you are so beautiful! I hope they have good coffee on the other side.

Let's hope they have everything this shitty Life doesn't have.

I wish you a peaceful and safe journey ❤

 

[whywere]

Today is my last day alive. I am feeling happy to unchain myself and become free and eternal. I love you guys, and I mean it, we don't know each other and I haven't interacted with you but I read everything and all of you are so beautiful! I hope they have good coffee on the other side.

Hi! You are truly a great global family member. My wish for you is love, kindness, understanding and the knowledge that you are loved and cared about here, no matter ones path in life. You are really a awesome person, one just has to read your post to see that aspect! Walter