How many people here are NEETS/ Hikikomori's with genuinely nothing to live for

[forever21soon]

My first post I guess. I've been lurking here for a while now and I often see posts with users mentioning having friends or significant others or sometimes even families of their own, I know everyone here is dealing with their own shit but still I can't help but feel bitter. I wonder how many people here are genuinely physically and socially isolated from the world or have been for years and actually have near to no one. I've been a shut in and a NEET since my early teenage years and have basically been living in my room alone and closed off from the world for 5 years now. I used to think I would eventually claw my way out of this and be able to live a normal life but reality has truly hit me that, that will never happen. Once you start young and that's all you've ever known and experienced during your most fundamental developing years there is no getting out, your resources are more and more limited and your mind rots and decays by the day until it begins to eat itself. I wonder how many of you here are in a similar position

 

[Emerita]

I haven't left my house in three years. At first, I isolated myself because I was suicidal, but I never followed through because I didn't have the means. The isolation didn't seem to affect me much at first, but eventually, it did. Now, the life I once had and the person I was are unrecognizable to me. I have lost basic social skills, and I feel like my brain has shrunk. I've grown accustomed to this state, and time feels distorted. The world feels unfamiliar, and if I were to go outside, it would feel surreal. I am alone all day everyday. This way of life just digs you in a deeper hole day by day and like you said when you start young you miss out on fundamental developmental years. I understand your frustration Im sorry.

 

[tercermundista]

Me... and because of my age there's no turning back.

 

[forever21soon]

I haven't left my house in three years. At first, I isolated myself because I was suicidal, but I never followed through because I didn't have the means. The isolation didn't seem to affect me much at first, but eventually, it did. Now, the life I once had and the person I was are unrecognizable to me. I have lost basic social skills, and I feel like my brain has shrunk. I've grown accustomed to this state, and time feels distorted. The world feels unfamiliar, and if I were to go outside, it would feel surreal. I am alone all day everyday. This way of life just digs you in a deeper hole day by day and like you said when you start young you miss out on fundamental developmental years. I understand your frustration Im sorry.

The brain shrinking truly is the worst at least at the start of my NEETdom I had the capacity to somewhat be productive and engage in interesting shit but now I'm so consumed and trapped by my own thoughts I no longer have the room for that. Heavy on the time becoming distorted part it's terrifying how the days blend together so fast and aimlessly I swear it was 2023 just two months ago

 

[Açucarzinho583]

I haven't left the house since I was 16. It's been so long that I've lost all sense of what the outside world is like. My room became my universe. Here, within four walls, I created routines, refuges, and excuses to avoid facing what lies beyond the door. Social interactions felt forced, as if I were playing a character everyone expected, but one I didn't even recognize myself. School was a minefield of silent judgment and suffocating expectations. Friends? They drifted away with time. Their lives moved on—mine stood still.

 

[The Unanswered Q]

Been a NEET for almost five years now. Want to recover, but not sure how to when my social skills are basically none-existent.

 

[forever21soon]

I haven't left the house since I was 16. It's been so long that I've lost all sense of what the outside world is like. My room became my universe. Here, within four walls, I created routines, refuges, and excuses to avoid facing what lies beyond the door. Social interactions felt forced, as if I were playing a character everyone expected, but one I didn't even recognize myself. School was a minefield of silent judgment and suffocating expectations. Friends? They drifted away with time. Their lives moved on—mine stood still.

I'm the same became a NEET at 13, then went back to alternative school at 15 where I met my only friend, dropped out after they did and became a NEET once again at 16 aside one futile attempt of getting an education that crashed and burned and only lasted three or four months. I've practically spent my life living in my head, I'm greatful I have one friend at least but we're drifting with time as well, we go weeks to months without talking

Been a NEET for almost five years now. Want to recover, but not sure how to when my social skills are basically none-existent.

Same I think past a certain point there is no recovering because this lifestyle is so addicting it's like a void that sucks you in that you can't get out of, though I do have a small sliver of hope it's dying by the day

 

[brokeandbroken]

My first post I guess. I've been lurking here for a while now and I often see posts with users mentioning having friends or significant others or sometimes even families of their own, I know everyone here is dealing with their own shit but still I can't help but feel bitter. I wonder how many people here are genuinely physically and socially isolated from the world or have been for years and actually have near to no one. I've been a shut in and a NEET since my early teenage years and have basically been living in my room alone and closed off from the world for 5 years now. I used to think I would eventually claw my way out of this and be able to live a normal life but reality has truly hit me that, that will never happen. Once you start young and that's all you've ever known and experienced during your most fundamental developing years there is no getting out, your resources are more and more limited and your mind rots and decays by the day until it begins to eat itself. I wonder how many of you here are in a similar position

I feel like this is a no but practically yes. I'm not in place where I could make friends or have a general place in society. So in some sense yes. Like some lite version of it.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I've recently become a NEET again. I'm wondering if any of you are on the autism spectrum? My NEETdom has been caused by autism regression bullshit.

 

[EgoBrained]

I have been in the same situation for quite some time now, I don't really know how to feel about it anymore. Sometimes it feels like I'm just waiting for time to pass, only for it to get even worse. The worst part is the feeling of being stuck, like there's nothing left to even strive for. I feel like I'm slowly fading into nothingness.

Over time, I think the isolation has started to change me. I've picked up traits that resemble those of a schizoid. I've grown distant. I don't express anything anymore. Even online, where I used to feel a bit more open, I've started to go quiet. I have found that being vulnerable became something uncomfortable to me. I find myself holding back, even when I want to speak my mind, and when I do, I fear that I'll just come across as uninteresting, annoying, or maybe just as someone with nothing to offer. I've started thinking, If I show myself, and it turns out I'm uninteresting, then what's left of me?

Sometimes I wonder if there's anyone out there who would accept me for who I am, someone I could actually connect with. But even if they exist, I don't think we'd ever cross paths. They're probably just like me, quiet, distant and keeping everything to themselves. And when both people are like that, nothing gets said. It's just two people, each waiting for the other to make the first move. It makes the idea of connection seem pointless, the few who might understand are probably just as lost as I am.

Any thought of change just feels empty now. The days drag on, blending into one another, and the hope for something better seems too distant to even consider. Things never shift, and it's hard to believe they ever will.

 

[worthless123]

I spend all day every day alone in my room. My brain has rotted so much I can barely even think anymore. I've been living like this for over 2 years now. The days just blend together and I'm so scared to look back in 10 years and only see this tiny cramped room. I know it's not going to get any better and this can only end one way. I keep putting it off because maybe something will change but its pure fantasy and delusion. Realistically there is no social recovery from this kind of aura loss.

 

[PrismHon]

I have a job (for now lol) but am pretty much a NEET in every other way, no friends etc.

 

[hang in there]

My first post I guess. I've been lurking here for a while now and I often see posts with users mentioning having friends or significant others or sometimes even families of their own, I know everyone here is dealing with their own shit but still I can't help but feel bitter. I wonder how many people here are genuinely physically and socially isolated from the world or have been for years and actually have near to no one. I've been a shut in and a NEET since my early teenage years and have basically been living in my room alone and closed off from the world for 5 years now. I used to think I would eventually claw my way out of this and be able to live a normal life but reality has truly hit me that, that will never happen. Once you start young and that's all you've ever known and experienced during your most fundamental developing years there is no getting out, your resources are more and more limited and your mind rots and decays by the day until it begins to eat itself. I wonder how many of you here are in a similar position

Hey. I'm sorry you're in that position. I was too. I got homeschooled since I turned 14 and due to untreated mental issues I could barely go outside to check the mailbox let alone have any sort of life. I was completely, totally alone and I thought that was how I was going to die.
But things change very unexpectedly in this life. Completely by accident I ended up fucking up so hard I ironically knocked over all the right dominos and somehow I ended up in college with a good job and my own place. Even if things seem completely set in stone and unchangeable they're never as they seem. I hope you have the same experience at some point. Life is a game and it can glitch pretty hard...

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

*raises hand straight up* the only time I leave my apartment is to go food shopping or medical appointments. Otherwise I have zero interest interacting with the outside world or the humans in it.

I worked briefly for 3 months when I was 17, and it was so traumatic I have not been able to work again. Even if I could work. Knowing that working is just slavery with extra steps, I don't want to either. There is nothing in college that interests me..I have no desire for a career.

All I want out of my life is enough food to not feel insecure. Place to live and TV to watch and I'm happy. I will just leave the rest of the world alone until I'm dead.

But to get that. I have to sell my entire life, my body, my health, time with my loved ones. And for well below what it's worth to the people who demand I do these things for no good reason. and I refuse to do that because it's wrong.

I'm neet by both circumstance and choice at this point.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm working to support a life I don't even want so- I feel resentful about that. But yes, I hardly ever leave the house and live hundreds of miles away from friends and family. Around covid was my record of not seeing people- asides from delivery drivers. Think that was around 3 years. Think maybe I went 9 months without properly leaving the house (asides from putting bins out) last year. So, I'm reluctantly funding my own Hikkomori life in a way.

Sometimes, I think I will break the pattern but, I'm not sure I've got the energy, motivation or money.

 

[Apathy79]

I was a complete hermit for almost a decade. My house was hundreds of miles from the nearest house in the middle of a forest. Supermarket delivery came one day a month. And most of the time they just put the bags on the porch and walked off without saying anything. For the first few years, there was no internet there, so I rung up to order. I actually got anxiety about that. Ringing up to speak to some teenager who had no idea who I was to place an order. Such was the lack of other communication with people. I spent most days completely silent in the early years. I went home for Christmas for a few days most years. That was my gateway to the world. I saw my parents and siblings then. But I found it difficult to communicate with them like I used to. Not just due to the fading connection - they were quite intrigued by my life so I had things to talk about - but just getting my thoughts into spoken words I found it very difficult to do. It turns out speaking is a skill, something I wasn't really aware of until then. If you don't speak for too long, you forget how to. In later years there I got internet, and started talking to myself out loud every day to re-learn and then maintain my ability to speak. I discovered SS towards the end of this part of my life.

If not for a bushfire that destroyed my home there, I'm almost certain that would still be my life. I didn't leave it because I wanted to. The world had other plans. Living in a shelter and doing community projects, I had to learn to live with people. They found it either funny or annoying that I frequently would talk to myself out loud in the communal area, as it had become so habitual for me I didn't realise I was doing it.

Later I discovered pet sitting. Then I spent a few years mostly alone, but interacting with pet owners when they departed and came back, and moving from place to place every few months. People in chat here liked my pet pics during this period! Now I live in a small town, and even go to communal gym classes each week. I still don't speak to anyone outside of hello and goodbye, but a lot more people see me and recognise me in the community than has happened for over 20 years. In the very rare conversations I do have with people, I can speak coherently again, albeit often rambling, like this post.

I don't think I have nothing to live for. Or that being a hermit (or the the things you call it) locks you in permanently. But I can vouch for the fact it takes time to adjust back into the world, especially after such a long time out of it. I still haven't completed that adjustment, but I have made significant steps in the right direction.