passenger27

passenger27

In my beginning is my end.
Aug 25, 2019
642
My stepdad, a stepbrother, an aunt, an uncle, an ex-girlfriend, and 2 friends. Too many.
 
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Asta

Asta

Specialist
Jun 7, 2019
318
That was back in 2013-15, MH, when getting either the powder or the liquid was no problem.
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,030
Worried I'll set off the chain with my family, inherited all their mental illness. Feel like I was engineered to be fucked up
Me to if i ctb. It will kill my entire family
 
clownangel

clownangel

Student
Sep 25, 2019
122
One confirmed when we were in highschool. Know numerous folks that have attempted, and suspect a couple accidental deaths were on purpose.
 
M

morningdew

Experienced
Jul 8, 2019
235
one friend a few years ago. She was one of the kindest people I had ever met. The world just was not kind to her. The breaking point was cruelty of people via social media.
 
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P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
3 friends, one of whom I was close to.
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
One friend jumped to his death, smart guy and I should've done the same or at least dumped my atrocious ex :(
Hugs.....DEATH!!!!!!
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
One friend jumped to his death, smart guy and I should've done the same or at least dumped my atrocious ex :(
Hugs.....DEATH!!!!!!
jumping seems so scary to me- for some reason marginally less so if over water-depsite knowing that the impact can be virtually the same anyways, sorry about yr friends & yr ex
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
jumping seems so scary to me- for some reason marginally less so if over water-depsite knowing that the impact can be virtually the same anyways, sorry about yr friends & yr ex
They jumped from ten stories in minus 30 weather onto concrete
Hugs...DEATH!!!
 
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sammii

sammii

I have no idea what I’m doing.
Oct 9, 2019
221
Just one, a friend of mine about 3 years ago. He had Shake It Off by Taylor Swift played at his funeral, it was ridiculous.
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
Someone that has committed suicide that I knew personally?
Only one.

He was a dear friend from my adolescence who I even fancied
in secret for a little bit. He was 19 years old when he passed away.
I won't go into the details, if only because I coped by denial and would
rather focus on memories from when he was alive.

There is this added layer of guilt, because the day that he died
happened to be the same of my own attempt. I lived. He did not.
It probably isn't the right word for it but even now there is something
like a "survivor's guilt".

I won't lie, I am also nervous about what may happen.
Many of my loved ones deal with mental illness and I would hate to
drive them to suicide.
 
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Ratherbeskinny

Ratherbeskinny

"Insert profound quote here."
Oct 28, 2019
108
Only succesfull ones? Two, I think? One girl who I was inpatient with (18 or so, don't know how) and my halfaunt something (50 or so, medicine+alcohol overdose). I've known a lot more people who attempted (a few times), though.
Many of my loved ones deal with mental illness and I would hate to
drive them to suicide.

Same same same. It's the only thing stopping me from doing it rn.
 
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painoflife

painoflife

Arcanist
Jul 27, 2019
491
4 people, ranging from family members to friends
 
Not_Quite_Dead_Yet

Not_Quite_Dead_Yet

Student
Oct 27, 2018
134
One that I know of. Shot herself in the head, was old and in tremendous pain. She had been my mentor in many ways for many years and three years on, I still think of her often and admire her bravery in exiting an untenable existence.
 
ForensicallyAware

ForensicallyAware

Specialist
Feb 10, 2020
314
Four people I knew personally.

One went to the railway station late at night and lay on the tracks waiting for the first train the following morning.
The rain ruined all the notes he had left for his relatives.
 
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LMLN

LMLN

Paragon
Aug 10, 2019
929
My husband. Should have saw it coming, but was in denial. :(
 
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Lostandfound7

Lostandfound7

Just waiting....
Jan 21, 2020
995
5 - My cousin (29) was a Dr n took some rx pills, childhood friend (30) was a nurse n took rx pills, one of my brother's friend's (17) drank paint thinner, friend's daughter (21) hung herself, friend's father walked into river, friend's cuz went to beach 2 wks ago, left his fam a voice msg, then shot himself in the water..in the msg, u can hear the waves crashing in the background...
 
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Reactions: TimeTheTaleWereTold and Deleted member 14573
highlyvolatile

highlyvolatile

I don't know anymore.
Feb 14, 2020
278
My uncle has attempted but I dont know anyone personally that did.
 
Apathy79

Apathy79

Arcanist
Oct 13, 2019
489
1 teenage girl I was friends with at school hung herself at 16. One of the "goth chicks". We were friends because we were the only 2 that played chess at school. But no one took her seriously, including me. That was my first experience.

2nd was another friend from school that I lost touch with after I finished. He came out as gay at 26 and not long after I met up with him for the first time since school. He said we (including me) all used to bully him at school, not physically but gave a few examples that in hindsight were pretty harsh, especially had we known he was gay. I'd always just thought of it as playful teasing that everyone did. My apology reflected that - more apologising for how he took it than what I/we did. Then not long after that chat he killed himself by jumping in front of a truck. I felt a bit guilty about that one.

And the main one was my best friend who had a really in depth discussion with me about a previous attempt that was only unsuccessful because he was found in time. He tried to explain how it came to that, everything behind the decision, everything really. That was a good chat I think for both of us. But ultimately he still ctb a few years later. He told his mother about this site not long beforehand, which is how I ended up here.

A couple of other acquaintances but they weren't really close. And one other friend who made a serious attempt but survived and is still with us now almost 20 years on.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
None I don't think
 
D

Deleted member 14573

.
Feb 2, 2020
227
One friend hung herself.
Another one OD'd.
A guy who was in the same university club as me jumped in front of a train. He was known for being controversial and had got himself in a tough situation. Still, was a sweet guy.

These all happened 1-2 months between each other. They did not know each other, as far as I am aware.
 
E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
Noone in my family or circle of friends ctb-ed. But I had a neighbour who took his life on the train track. I can't say I knew him well at all, but it was still a shock.
 
SadHam

SadHam

Once a happy ham, now a sad ham.
Feb 9, 2020
26
At least one personally. Extended friend group contains a few I only knew somewhat. That one though, had to ID him. He was a thoughtful, caring, artistic dude. He was punished for loving someone. As am I. Its brutal really, what we do to each other. How we lie, the frustration, pain, confusion. I understand feelings change, but perhaps we could be more considerate of the words we use, especially love. To some it's very dynamic, to others it can be world shattering if removed, especially if its quick or ghosted. Myself, I'm really tired now. Cant keep it at bay like I used to. I understand him far more now than I did then. Soon, hopefully I can sleep with peace. Not to go to quietly into the night, but I've done my fight.
 
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