ChildrensITV
Arcanist
- Mar 14, 2023
- 488
I wish I could die within the next 5 minutes.
I lost someone in my life who was the only good reason for me to wake up. I have no career prospects. I am old. Ugly. Balding. I tried out online-dating. Matched with a woman. She didn't seem romantically interested. I was suspicious cuz I'm below a 5 in looks. She was quick to transfer me to whatsapp. She said she was French but couldn't speak any. She just kept talking about Crypto, then wanted me to download Binance. I stopped replying.
I met my friend last night. His life isn't going well either but at least he is meeting and fucking women. None that I would, but it makes him happy.
I have another friend who had a good career and met an amazing woman who is taller than him but doesn't mind. He is bald too. His life has turned around in the last 15 years and it is all going well for him now.
I stopped using Facebook years ago when all my friends got married and started to have children. Meanwhile, I barely have a bus-pass.
Nothing is going well for me. I don't like anything that is happening. Not personally, intimately, emotionally, politically, socially. There is not one thing I can point to and say "At least that is going well". I am trying to will myself to get dressed and go to the gym but for what? To add a sliver more mass for it to be ignored, or only commented on by male friends?
I have a half-bottle of whisky here and I am asking myself, why the fuck don't I just drink it? I want to avoid bloating but whether I am bloated or not, I am still an ugly, poor, old piece of shit. The only thing that gives me some respite in life is: Sleeping or drinking alcohol. I even tried weed but it did nothing for me.
I try not to drink during the week. So I spend all week looking forward to the weekend where I get my slight escapism. This is no way to live. I shouldn't have to live if I have to live like this.
I lost someone in my life who was the only good reason for me to wake up. I have no career prospects. I am old. Ugly. Balding. I tried out online-dating. Matched with a woman. She didn't seem romantically interested. I was suspicious cuz I'm below a 5 in looks. She was quick to transfer me to whatsapp. She said she was French but couldn't speak any. She just kept talking about Crypto, then wanted me to download Binance. I stopped replying.
I met my friend last night. His life isn't going well either but at least he is meeting and fucking women. None that I would, but it makes him happy.
I have another friend who had a good career and met an amazing woman who is taller than him but doesn't mind. He is bald too. His life has turned around in the last 15 years and it is all going well for him now.
I stopped using Facebook years ago when all my friends got married and started to have children. Meanwhile, I barely have a bus-pass.
Nothing is going well for me. I don't like anything that is happening. Not personally, intimately, emotionally, politically, socially. There is not one thing I can point to and say "At least that is going well". I am trying to will myself to get dressed and go to the gym but for what? To add a sliver more mass for it to be ignored, or only commented on by male friends?
I have a half-bottle of whisky here and I am asking myself, why the fuck don't I just drink it? I want to avoid bloating but whether I am bloated or not, I am still an ugly, poor, old piece of shit. The only thing that gives me some respite in life is: Sleeping or drinking alcohol. I even tried weed but it did nothing for me.
I try not to drink during the week. So I spend all week looking forward to the weekend where I get my slight escapism. This is no way to live. I shouldn't have to live if I have to live like this.
