How many of you have been on antidepressants? Do they make you more or less suicidal?

[General Alek]

I was on them from 2020 - 2023

I was also heavy drinking around the same time

in 2022, I started to have suicidal urges

its hard to say whether it was cause of the pills, or cause of the alcohol

or maybe the 2 were a bad combination

I felt zombified on the pills, like really bloated and lethargic

but my pain and irritation was numbed

its hard to say if I feel less suicidal off them

 

[sserafim]

My psychiatrist wanted to put me on them back in December but I declined because I heard they cause weight gain. My depression got better on its own; I feel fine now

 

[General Alek]

My psychiatrist wanted to put me on them back in December but I declined because I heard they cause weight gain. My depression got better on its own; I feel fine now

nice

 

[lawlietsph]

I was on antidepressants from the age of 13, now I'm 28 and only recently stopped it because I am in healthcare debt and they basically did not give me the medicine anymore.
I was always suicidal, from the age of 13 not a day goes by when I don't want to end it all - so for me it did not really matter. The only thing antidepressants helped me with is not being so sensitive, I mean not crying all the time and stuff. I was just numb, but still very much suicidal.
It was real fun having to withdraw with no help at all tho: pure living hell.
Now I am more suicidal than ever.
Sorry for rambling, so for me the answer is: they did not make any difference in terms of suicidal ideations

 

[LunarLight]

I've been on antidepressants for 6 years now. It never worked (it was almost only SSRIs). So I bought other types of antidepressants on an online pharmacy and I'm currently waiting for my package. I'm gonna try five of them (not at the same time of course) and I will make updates.

 

[Nefera]

Even though I kept being suicidal it made me less impulsive and improved my general quality of life which made it possible to pursue coping methods and function better as a human.

 

[Felodese]

I've tried a lot of different antidepressants. Some had little to no effect, but most of them made me feel numb (and the numbness was painful in itself).
None of them changed my suicidality in any way.

 

[agony1996]

I've taken every antidepressant under the sun, some of them did work but it also depends under what circumstances you took them, what was going on your life at the time. When I was 21 I took my first antidepressant for social anxiety and it turned my life around but I wasn't severely depressed at that time. I've taken many antidepressants after that and some of them worked others didn't but being severely depressed and suicidal no antidepressants has helped me or can help me. I think when you get to this point nothing helps unfortunately

 

[BirdWithoutWings]

They've never caused a decrease in suicidal thoguhts for me, they just helped/worsened different aspects of my life.
Wellbutrin: Works like a stimulant. It decreased my appetite, made weight loss easier (in turn making me happier), woke me up like i had chugged multiple cups of caffeine, made me INCREDIBLY productive. Also caused severe panic attacks and a triple heart beat issue+at lower weights I was getting what felt like mini seizures.
Prozac: Made me double my weight in 5 months which in turn made me incredibly suicidal, made me tired, hunger could not be satiated. This one was the worst for me.
Mirtazapine: combined with Klonopin, knocks me the FUCK out in an hour. Insane hunger while you're half asleep so weight gain is almost guarenteed. Made me suicidal due to the weight gain, love the sedative effect hence the continuation.

I've felt suicidal every single day on all of them, though Mirtazapine seems to be the one where I have catalogued evidence of me planning my attempt for half a year.

 

[fleetingnight]

I've been on a few. One made me more suicidal, the others didn't affect me

 

[IWishIWasAFlower]

One of the three i was given worked for me. I didnt start liking my life because of them but the constant urge to activly end it got better. Quite a few of sideeffects tho. Helped me when i was hospitalized didnt cure my depression xD

 

[lilac-moonbeam]

I've been on wellbutrin and zoloft for almost half a year now. I haven't noticed much of a difference in my suicide ideation so far. When I was first adjusting to them, my thoughts about it increased. They slowed for a little bit, but I think that's mostly because I wasn't thinking about much at all. It seems like they come just as often but they come and go. I think about it most when I can't sleep (which almost every night). I don't think I dwell on it as much as I did though.

 

[belomorski]

I got myself here because of antidepressants. I was a happy life loving person until they have me a benzo for sleep. I got addicted to them and when I quit them it all started. I started going around doctors they kept putting on more and more tablets. I've been through every AD, entiepleptic, benzo and so on under the sun. All the chemistry resulted in peripheral nerve damage and now I'm damaged for life. So that's how I got on this forum. I've got an amazing partner that I love so much and this is the one thing that held me back. But I can't take what going on in my head and body any more its too much.

 

[failure383]

I've been on one anti-depressant for two years and another for a few weeks. Hard to tell if anything changed at all, probably not though. Suicidality didn't change.

 

[mymarbles]

My psychiatrist wanted to put me on them back in December but I declined because I heard they cause weight gain. My depression got better on its own; I feel fine now

may i ask the changes u noticed when u started them? we're u more or less tired during the day? did u gain weight when u first started them?

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I can't say 100% for certain what happens to every person who chooses Antidepressants or Psych Meds in general - HOWEVER: If you're not 100% certain you're going to CTB and see yourself wanting to recover and live for the long term, don't take them. Psych drugs are not like street drugs. You can be addicted to meth or heroin for years, decide to go into recovery, and come out of it relatively okay. Maybe not as good as you were before you started taking drugs, but most of the harmful effects will subside. The same cannot be said for Psych Drugs. They cause brain damage to varying degrees that DOES NOT GO AWAY. And it doesn't take long. I was forced to take an extremely high dose of Lamictal in a Psychiatric Institution and was literally never the same after that. It could be just ONE overly high dose that ruins your brain.

Antidepressants in a best case scenario will work for maybe 2-4 years before your body develops a tolerance and you have to find a different one or double up with a different medication. You WILL lose your sex drive completely - you won't even be able to masturbate anymore. You'll slowly become more and more emotionally numb until you just feel nothing. And not in the "good" way. Nothing will excite you. Nothing will motivate you. It'll be harder and harder to enjoy the simple pleasures you once did. You'll feel completely dead while you're still breathing.

So - if you're planning on recovery and living in the long term, don't do it. If you're looking to just squeeze a year or two more out of life, maybe do it. But...in that year or two if your circumstances change and something happens to you that makes you want to live, you might have to live with brain damage.

Honestly, it seems more and more people suffering from depression are finding success with experimenting with Psychedelics. Had I gone that route 15 years ago, I might not have to CTB now. I really would try that first before going down the Psychiatry route.

 

[KillingPain267]

Depends on what you mean by antidepressant. I tried an SSRI. Didn't do anything. I tried an SNRI and it instantly gave me a rush of adrenaline to the point of anxiety, just one pill I had to quit. Right now I am on quetiapine and it numbs me a bit, at least to make me sleep better and more but I still cannot get ctb out of my head.

 

[TiredOrbit]

Been on a bunch of psych meds for 7 years now, they don't make me less suicidal but they work as a solid tree near me drowning in the ocean : if i have the energy, it will help me get my head out of the water by holding onto it and pushing down. Otherwise, i'll just drown with a bunch of side effects from meds.

 

[kyhoti]

I've been on various cocktails over the decades, and I went into it strictly for the short-term. I was very clear with my shrinks that these were going to be "crisis only" meds. I would be on them just long enough to pull me out of whatever manic, delusional bullshit was eating my brain, and no further.

Unfortunately, I'm now going through neurodegeneration, which may be a tangential result of those head-meds of yesteryear. I've had a decent run, however, I kinda want more time to make some amends. But the dark wolves are howling at the door, so, yeah. YMMV.

 

[Qua]

Definetly less. I've been on antidepressants for about 3 years and I feel like it shuts down many of my emotions. When they get too strong I need calming meds to help myself, but besides that ig antidepressants are doing their job

 

[astonishedturnip]

I'm on Lexapro and it absolutely helps, I feel much more resilient and capable on them, back to my pre-mental breakdown self. The problem is when it dips during PMSing and it's AWFUL, I spend all day crying and obsessing over my triggers. My GP is responsive so I might increase the dose slightly to see if it helps.

 

[the_summoning]

My Prozac works and I didn't have ideations. Of course I've been without them for a month or two and now I want to ctb again.

 

[goodbye_._]

My meds make me not feel anything and I'm result make me more suicidal, so i guess it makes it worst?

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Antidepressants have never had an effect on my feeling suicidal. They have been helpful for being productive and being able to get out of bed though

 

[heliophobic]

I've been on them for 32 years. Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, etc. I gave up the hope a long time ago that they'll ever make me "happy". They just keep me here. They just make things gray instead of black. If you're able to, try to get this test done. It helps doctors put you on the right meds because it tells them what your brain naturally responds well to and what it doesn't. I'm on medicaid and it was covered.

Gene Test for Mental Health Medications | GeneSight

genesight.com

 

[KANCEL]

I have taken well over 20 different anti-depressants over the years and none of them had any lasting effects.
The one's that had a positive lift in my mood only lasted for a few weeks then nothing.
I consider them false hope and won't try them anymore.