How many of you are parents

[Jolene40]

Having a young son makes this such a painful experience. If I wasn't so very unwell witj multiple uncontrollable illnesses, i would not even be here contemplating this.
It devastates me every day as I am suffering so much yet hanging on desperately for my son.

 

[Yorkshire91]

I have a 10 year old daughter, 1 at 4 who I cant see & 4 step children I love as my own but will never see again. I see my eldest for a few hours once a week. I've not been able to be a proper father to her for years now I just feel like an outsider in her life.

 

[k75]

I have a college age son. I tried to be a good mom and thought I gave him a great life, but now I don't feel like I mean much to him anymore. I think he'll be ok without me.

 

[Yorkshire91]

I have a college age son. I tried to be a good mom and thought I gave him a great life, but now I don't feel like I mean much to him anymore. I think he'll be ok without me.

I'm not close to my mum, I shut her out, feel like she doesn't understand, get mad with her etc but she still means the world to me as I'm sure you do him. I hate the fact she will have to bury me and mourn me.

 

[marcusuk63]

I have a son and a daughter and 5 granddaughters who i've never seen, my son was 6 when we split up and i used to see him regular until he was 16 then he started dating and we lost touch , no real reason (he doesn't live in the same town as me ) he is 32 now and is with the same girl . i haven't seen him in years but rest of the family do and i saw him and my ex at my brothers funeral a few months ago .
My daughter is about 26 i think but i didnt know she was mine so have only seem her once when she was 2 but we never upset the apple cart so her husband thinks she is his.
Probably have a few more i dont know about , what can i say , i`m scum .

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I have children, and given light or recent circumstances, I have been told by professionals that basically I am a shit mum who is neglecting my children due to my selfish mental health needs, were as my husband is an amazing father... so yea I don't feel guilty that I will be leaving them soon, they most defo will be better off with out me

 

[Rachel74]

I am a dog mom, does that count?

 

[Chris0001]

I am a dog mom, does that count?

Yes. Or make sure the dog has a new home before anything.

 

[Jolene40]

I have a 10 year old daughter, 1 at 4 who I cant see & 4 step children I love as my own but will never see again. I see my eldest for a few hours once a week. I've not been able to be a proper father to her for years now I just feel like an outsider in her life.

Is it because of your mental health Yorkshire. There's nothing g worse than feeling like a crap inadequate parent

 

[Yorkshire91]

Is it because of your mental health Yorkshire. There's nothing g worse than feeling like a crap inadequate parent

Contact with my eldest was restricted around 4 years ago when she witnessed me being arrested whilst in my care for a false allegation by a cheating ex. The same ex is the mother of my 4 year old so no contact there. Wont ever see my step children again because of the relationship breakdown although I can't fault their mum she is an amazing person. I know I've let all of my children down they deserve better.

 

[Jolene40]

Contact with my eldest was restricted around 4 years ago when she witnessed me being arrested whilst in my care for a false allegation by a cheating ex. The same ex is the mother of my 4 year old so no contact there. Wont ever see my step children again because of the relationship breakdown although I can't fault their mum she is an amazing person. I know I've let all of my children down they deserve better.

I really feel your pain. Not what you would have dreamed of. I'd love to say don't be hard on yourself but we all are on here. Hugs xx

I have children, and given light or recent circumstances, I have been told by professionals that basically I am a shit mum who is neglecting my children due to my selfish mental health needs, were as my husband is an amazing father... so yea I don't feel guilty that I will be leaving them soon, they most defo will be better off with out me

That's so harsh. As if any one would choose mental torture for themselves. I know if things could be different for you you'd take that. Xx

I have a son and a daughter and 5 granddaughters who i've never seen, my son was 6 when we split up and i used to see him regular until he was 16 then he started dating and we lost touch , no real reason (he doesn't live in the same town as me ) he is 32 now and is with the same girl . i haven't seen him in years but rest of the family do and i saw him and my ex at my brothers funeral a few months ago .
My daughter is about 26 i think but i didnt know she was mine so have only seem her once when she was 2 but we never upset the apple cart so her husband thinks she is his.
Probably have a few more i dont know about , what can i say , i`m scum .

You're not scum at all id hazard a guess.
Self loathing is a common thread on here. We'd all change the shit situation we find ourselves in if we could xx

 

[Blackjack]

This is, by far, the hardest part of my decision to exit early. My son will suffer either way, and it's killing me.

 

[OnlyMercy]

It is, for the most part, inhumane to subject the unborn to this abysmal, inhumane and cruel life. Unfortunately most parents realise the error in their ways too late into advanced adulthood.

 

[Sadwind]

My son makes it hard for me. I want to keep him from my pain but I'm in so much agony I don't know what could keep me from doing what I need to do for myself. It's just one more selfish thing im doing for selfish reasons. I hope he will be ok.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I am a dog mom, does that count?

I'm sure you love your dog with all your heart but it's very different than carrying a child for 9 months and giving birth to them and raising them.

 

[Stan]

As a son, I was quietly happy for my mother when she passed. Even though I was sad she was gone knowing that she no longer suffered gave me a lot of peace. If they see you in pain, your passing may give them some peace that you are no longer in pain. Regarding my kids, I am in a similar position to Yorkshire above and my constant regret that I was never able to be the father I wanted to be is a daily torture for me.

 

[Yorkshire91]

As a son, I was quietly happy for my mother when she passed. Even though I was sad she was gone knowing that she no longer suffered gave me a lot of peace. If they see you in pain, your passing may give them some peace that you are no longer in pain. Regarding my kids, I am in a similar position to Yorkshire above and my constant regret that I was never able to be the father I wanted to be is a daily torture for me.

It's really is horrendous isn't it. I lost my father and after I always swore I would never purposely put my children through that pain but now I can no longer hold on it just makes me feel worse. CPN told me not to be ashamed as many people reach this point but how can I not be ashamed that my kids aren't enough to keep me going. It's a vicious cycle that never ends.

 

[Rachel74]

I'm sure you love your dog with all your heart but it's very different than carrying a child for 9 months and giving birth to them and raising them.

I agree bit I decided in my 20s it was kinder not to have children with my bipolar.

 

[woxihuanni]

Was never allowed to breed, but been forced to parent my parents and my emotionally crippled, spineless ex partner, so yeah count me in as a parent.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Being a parent sucks, seriously can't do right for doing bloody wrong!!

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-am-sorry.22741/#post-419674

 

[Jolene40]

It is, for the most part, inhumane to subject the unborn to this abysmal, inhumane and cruel life. Unfortunately most parents realise the error in their ways too late into advanced adulthood.

If I had not become unwell I would completely disagree. However, now I'm in this predicament I feel that yes, it is very cruel for the children born to suffer the problems of their parents. It all depends how the dice rolls. Many are living great lives. Our reality isn't that for every living being to be fair.

As a son, I was quietly happy for my mother when she passed. Even though I was sad she was gone knowing that she no longer suffered gave me a lot of peace. If they see you in pain, your passing may give them some peace that you are no longer in pain. Regarding my kids, I am in a similar position to Yorkshire above and my constant regret that I was never able to be the father I wanted to be is a daily torture for me.

I'm very much the same. It's a daily torture also that I am not the parent I want to be or needed. It eats me inside every minute.

It's really is horrendous isn't it. I lost my father and after I always swore I would never purposely put my children through that pain but now I can no longer hold on it just makes me feel worse. CPN told me not to be ashamed as many people reach this point but how can I not be ashamed that my kids aren't enough to keep me going. It's a vicious cycle that never ends.

This is not intended to encourage anyone but my father took his life when I was young. I never once felt that I wasn't enough. I felt and still do feel angry that my father had to have something that made him suffer so much and be taken away. I feel like I've always felt this way for most my adult life.

 

[Stan]

We just have to accept there isn't an answer to whether it's right to bring life into the world. You can can cross reference it with those that have spoken in this forum that said they where in great loving families and can't understand they way they feel.

But going back to the OP's original question and perhaps the insinuation for why they asked it. Yes, I am and yes it does make the whole thing more complicated. Do I wish they were not born, hell no! They will probably bring something to this world that I couldn't.

 

[Jolene40]

The primary reason I posted was for my own need to feel less alone by reaching out to others who would kind of under stand the added level of pain being a parent brings in this predicament we are in. I feel that being a parent has added to my emotional pain tenfold. I also possibly want to feel less guilty. This is the only place I feel I can relate to anyone when I'm feeling such emotional torture and guilt.

I don't really philosophise on reproduction at all and the morality of it. I have thought about it more when conversing on here but instinctive drives tend to win at the end of the day no matter how we try moralise. Posts regarding the cruelty of having kids do not really bother me as almost everyone embarks on it with good intentions and many kids are having great lives and become happy adults! Yes even in the face of nutty slack parents who find themselves on s.s websites.

 

[Stan]

I feel that being a parent has added to my emotional pain tenfold.

Yes it does, sadly, yes it does. i would have done this a couple of years ago otherwise

 

[Jolene40]

Yes it does, sadly, yes it does. i would have done this a couple of years ago otherwise

Feel the same.

 

[SheJumped]

I have a daughter she is the only reason I'm still alive.
she's far to young to understand if daddy is going and passed.
I'd like if she was at an age to understand or process my suicide.