How long have you been planning?

[NoHope4Me]

How long have you been planning?

Told myself I would CTB in about 2 years from now. Il be 28.

It gives me enough time to have some meaningful moments with friends and family while planning out every detail to ensure nothing goes wrong.

I plan on being very active in my planning. Leaving multiple letters for people, that they can read at different points in their lives and making sure I do some of things I've always wanted to do.

The hardest part will be leaving my friends and family behind but I can't live with myself anymore. I hate the thought of my future.

 

[H.O.Xan]

As long as I have till a perfect undisturbed opportunity presents itself

 

[dragonofenvy]

The last time I tried I had been thinking about it for months. I've been thinking about my end since I was 8. Told myself I didn't want to live to adulthood. Here I am. Told myself I wouldn't live past college. Here I am. Wrote tons of notes, spent weeks researching trying to perfect what I'd do. It wasn't perfect. Now, 4 days later, I don't have any plans. I feel like my safety net is gone. Not sure what to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I had the option to just painlessly cease existing and never suffer ever again but of course I'm so harmfully denied that as after all we exist in this horrific reality where suffering is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, it's all just so dreadful, terrible and cruel to me, there's just so much cruelty in how I cannot just have the option to permanently free myself from the torturous and futile burden of existing as a human. I've personally always and only wished to not exist, for me eternal sleep is always preferable to being enslaved in this existence capable of suffering to unlimited amounts just destined to decay and die anyway, the fact that the option of a guaranteed, painless death is denied for me with no risks of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse torture as a result truly is so painful.