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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
747
Hi. I'm new here. 33 male, suffering from severe depression. My plan to suicide is as follows

1- using 150 phenobarbital 100 mg pill to unconsciousness

2- I have 2g cyanide. I wanna use it near complate unconsciousness

3- I've 3 aluminium phosphide pill, death by that is certain but very very painful. I expect cyanide acts very fast befor that and I use that just for caution while I use cyanide

4_ finally after using phenobarbital, cyanide and aluminum phosphate, I will bring exit bag on my head. I've a 20 lit nitrogen capsule and a hand made plastic bag

I want to use this 4 method together because I feared from failure and disability. Also I want to find a Diethyl ether to have it beside myself to prevent any probubly pains

I prepared all of these materials. What do u think about my method?
 
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art711

Member
Apr 23, 2020
23
I would delete the Aluminium Phosphide and add SN.
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
This is just someone living in fantasy trying to get a reaction from forum members. Move on.
 
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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
747
I'm not in fantasy
 

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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
I'll eat my words then. Please be understanding that members join to only indulge in trolling by combining methods. There are even threads about this.

Your nitrogen tank is your only peaceful way of going. There is an immense amount of pain with cyanide and rice pills. Why are you wanting to combine methods when inert gas will bring a reliable death? @fightingsioux (RIP) has some reliable information in self-deliverance with inert gas.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
This method illustrated... :tongue:

iu
 
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L

laserfocus111

Student
Feb 11, 2020
146
I'll eat my words then. Please be understanding that members join to only indulge in trolling by combining methods. There are even threads about this.

@fightingsioux (RIP) has some reliable information in self-deliverance with inert gas.

The plan looks like it has alot of moving parts I feel.. But won't combining methods increase the chances of success?
 
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I

I screwed up

Waiting for the damn bus
Sep 11, 2019
883
Omg I m completely envious of you bro. I m struggling to have one proper method and u have access to 4 .... I would ctb with cyanide, would be the fastest .
 
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Blue Portal

Blue Portal

Member
May 6, 2020
66
Hi. I'm new here. 33 male, suffering from severe depression. My plan to suicide is as follows

1- using 150 phenobarbital 100 mg pill to unconsciousness

2- I have 2g cyanide. I wanna use it near complate unconsciousness

3- I've 3 aluminium phosphide pill, death by that is certain but very very painful. I expect cyanide acts very fast befor that and I use that just for caution while I use cyanide

4_ finally after using phenobarbital, cyanide and aluminum phosphate, I will bring exit bag on my head. I've a 20 lit nitrogen capsule and a hand made plastic bag

I want to use this 4 method together because I feared from failure and disability. Also I want to find a Diethyl ether to have it beside myself to prevent any probubly pains

I prepared all of these materials. What do u think about my method?
I'll work. Probably overkill but it will work.

I'll probably go out with GHB. Gonna have to run some tests with it first.
 
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9137890

9137890

Member
Aug 21, 2019
88
Why so complicated, when you have cyanide?
If you have really pure sodium or potassium cyanide then you don't need more. Just a handful of people have survived it, it has success rate of almost 100 % and especially if you have so much. 2 g are ~ 10 times more than needed.
 
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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
747
I fear from fail. I think that my chances is only 1 time. I expect phenobarbital and exit bag make me unconscious befor acting cyanide and rice pills. For caution I want to buy Diethyl ether and if I faced with pain I will use it
Why so complicated, when you have cyanide?
If you have really pure sodium or potassium cyanide then you don't need more. Just a handful of people have survived it, it has success rate of almost 100 % and especially if you have so much. 2 g are ~ 10 times more than needed.
 
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Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
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Aap

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,856
You are going to run into issues taking that many pills at once. You will have to crush them; if you don't, absorption will be greatly delayed. Given the amount of phenobarbital, the time from the onset of any effect to unconsciousness will be very fast, likely 1-3 minutes. If you try to wait until you are almost unconscious, you will be out before you finish.

if you want to go this route, you would want to take the pheno, have the nitrogen going and exit bag and on your head just about immediately after, and as soon as you feel anything, take cn and immediately pull bag down.

obviously, you can't take SN with CN. If you want to mess with diethyl ether, you Need to know exactly how you will use it. If you follow the above, there isnt really a scenario where it would be needed. For completeness, obviously don't mix the cyanide with anything other than water in the same glass (if you don't use capsules).
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
This is the only complex combo method I've seen that has had any merit in succeeding. If you lived it would be a miracle.

I'm sorry you are in this predicament.
peace to you
 
alizee

alizee

Arcanist
Jul 22, 2018
452
I think you would be better with just using the exit bag and if you somehow wake up use the cyanide. Although it depends on if you live alone.
 
HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
I think you would be better with just using the exit bag and if you somehow wake up use the cyanide. Although it depends on if you live alone.
You may want to critically think about the what-ifs that someone woke up after using an exit bag. The long term damages of waking up after being deprived from oxygen are similar to being in a vegetative state.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
But it's not Appropriate

Different people have different tastes in humour, and I acknowledge that sarcasm (and my own sense of humour overall) is certainly not for everyone. Additionally, it has the most subtleties and nuance, and the greatest potential for being misinterpreted by those for whom English might not be a first language (not saying this is the case here, just a general observation). But if the analogy is humorous, apt (i.e. relevant) and good-natured, I fail to see why it should be deemed inherently inappropriate.

To suggest we must refrain from humour merely because the topic is suicide or the readers may be considering suicide is to remove a useful coping mechanism and emotional pressure valve from the forum. It also wraps the members in cotton wool in a manner they would likely resent were it to happen in any other aspect of their lives. Note that the OP wasn't in an (especially) vulnerable state when they calmly listed their method and sought feedback (and no, I don't consider 'severe depression' as being incompatible with either sarcasm or humour from either a clinical or personal perspective).

@aminend, my response was intended as a humorous way of pointing out that your plan seemed needlessly complicated and like overkill. Admittedly, some of the humour was intended for more experienced members on the board who see many such plans and become somewhat exasperated by them. If you interpreted my response in any manner other than as intended, then I do apologise.
 
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A

Aap

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,856
If you can't laugh at yourself....

Humor is an incredibly good coping mechanism. Anyone who has read your posts knows you are caring and willing to help.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
If you can't laugh at yourself....

Humor is an incredibly good coping mechanism. Anyone who has read your posts knows you are caring and willing to help.

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to say that.
 
D

Diablox

Member
May 25, 2020
15
Hi. I'm new here. 33 male, suffering from severe depression. My plan to suicide is as follows

1- using 150 phenobarbital 100 mg pill to unconsciousness

2- I have 2g cyanide. I wanna use it near complate unconsciousness

3- I've 3 aluminium phosphide pill, death by that is certain but very very painful. I expect cyanide acts very fast befor that and I use that just for caution while I use cyanide

4_ finally after using phenobarbital, cyanide and aluminum phosphate, I will bring exit bag on my head. I've a 20 lit nitrogen capsule and a hand made plastic bag

I want to use this 4 method together because I feared from failure and disability. Also I want to find a Diethyl ether to have it beside myself to prevent any probubly pains

I prepared all of these materials. What do u think about my method?
Aminend wow I am so jealous at what assortiment you have ready. How did you get everything if i may ask? Tell me privately, cause i dont want sources to get banned. I am looking for cyanide.

thanks
 
alizee

alizee

Arcanist
Jul 22, 2018
452
You may want to critically think about the what-ifs that someone woke up after using an exit bag. The long term damages of waking up after being deprived from oxygen are similar to being in a vegetative state.

That possibility can very well justify using some type of poison right before the exit bag. I know from my experience of living alone that if I were to wake up as a vegetable in such a situation. I would eventually die from starvation. I think cyanide is fairly fast acting and why I thought it might make better sense to use as a backup method. I know if I had the drug I would use it in combination with a hanging suicide.
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
[...]
Agreed with reservation up to "anyone." I'm part of anyone. Lots of folks have pointed out on a regular basis that @autumnal belittles and is harsh to people. They're part of "anyone," too. I see little to no evidence of caring from this member, I see help regularly served with sides of concurrent negating, condemning, belittling, etc. The user's post history speaks for itself. Not since his/her earliest days on the forum have I seen a genuine willingness to help, but instead consistent willingness to step up and point out where other members are wrong by his/her standards, even wrong for asking for information, for not knowing something, and in this thread, for asking for advice. Let's see how brave and confident s/he is when and if the time comes to make an attempt.

In stark contrast, @HelensNepenthe admitted to error, a rarity on the forum and irl. The comment is to me a good example of being able to admit when one is wrong, take responsibility, and explain without shifting blame back onto the one who was wronged in genuine error.

@autumnal, who beat you and/or called you stupid when you asked for help as a vulnerable child? Who told you you should know better when you had no way of knowing? Who made fun of you and demanded you laugh along? Who made you feel stupid? If they are still alive, let me me know. I'll write to them and rip them the fuck up on your behalf and you can forward it. The cycle needs to stop.

The only 'cycle' that 'needs to stop' is your apparent continuation of the argument from here as subsequent attacks on me elsewhere. I don't consider it remotely coincidental that your sudden multiple criticisms of me (1/2/3) have all occurred only after I challenged your arguments (and your feeling of academic superiority) on that thread. From my end, the argument there was fairly philosophical, dispassionate and unremarkable, but clearly it must have struck a chord with you to warrant this kind of ongoing reaction, both against me and now against any member who dares to support me.

I am sorry that you seem to have formed such an inaccurate opinion of me, and then chosen to pursue it in this manner. I'm not chosing to 'Ignore' (block) you at this point, but may well need to do so if your behaviour continues. My reason for being on this forum is the giving and recieving of relevant practical and factual advice. I'm not here for huge clashes, nor joining cliques, nor the need to win an argument at any cost. I really don't have anything to add beyond that.
 
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A

Aap

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,856
Seriously, why would you belittle someone for Perceived fear or SI. No clue if it is true or not, but it is a huge underlying current here. Upon reflection, do you feel this comment is appropriate?

Autumnal seems to give some of the best info here, and by best I mean backed up with literature. Your last paragraph is a direct attack under a transparent and insincere guise of offering to help.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
The only 'cycle' that 'needs to stop' is your apparent continuation of the argument from here as subsequent attacks on me elsewhere. I don't consider it remotely coincidental that your sudden multiple criticisms of me (1/2/3) have all occurred only after I challenged your arguments (and your feeling of academic superiority) on that thread. From my end, the argument there was fairly philosophical, dispassionate and unremarkable, but clearly it must have struck a chord with you to warrant this kind of ongoing reaction, both against me and now against any member who dares to support me.

I am sorry that you seem to have formed such an inaccurate opinion of me, and then chosen to pursue it in this manner. I'm not chosing to 'Ignore' (block) you at this point, but may well need to do so if your behaviour continues. My reason for being on this forum is the giving and recieving of relevant practical and factual advice. I'm not here for huge clashes, nor joining cliques, nor the need to win an argument at any cost. I really don't have anything to add beyond that.

I never claimed academic superiority but qualification. You are the one to tried to place me in a position of inferiority -- to PN.

@autumnal, it doesn't matter who goes againstwhat you say and do, nor how they approach it, nor how many people say the exact same things about how you treat others and entreat you to change your approach. It is generally your approach to respond that they misinterpret, or they are somehow as in need of correction as those they speak to defend. You are never, ever wrong, and even if you admit to perhaps having been in error, someone else is still simultaneously wrong and/or you're still justified from a different stance.

I am not attacking you as a person. I am not coming at you with torches and pitchforks and saying to get the fuck off the forum. I am calling out repetitive, cyclic abusive actions, and evasive actions that, to you, support the rightness of every petty, demeaning, and belittling action directed at others.

I spoke out because I'm fed up with the behavior. I spoke out because when I see you smack down an undeserving other, it hurts and pisses me off to the point that I might as well be taking part in it if I don't speak up.

I have dealt with taking responsibility for my thoughts and emotions in response to how you act on this forum. Whatever mods allow, I have no control over. I cannot control you. I recognized I have two options. The first is to speak up and to step up. The second is to accept that this has had no effect, to accept, and to ignore for my own well-being. That second one is a challenge. Sure, I feel better if I don't see it happening, but lots of folks still feel like crap for getting treated so disdainfully, and for having witnessed the disdainful treatment of others. So I'll see about the second option.

I could give a flip if you ignore me. We don't PM. I publicly address your public actions. And you're not the only one I'm talking to when I do. What you don't hear -- what you acknowledge yet consistently shrug off in a variety of defense moves -- are the many different people who have all tried to get through to you, to respectfully ask you to stop treating others as you do, to appeal to your reason, to appeal to your compassion.

My opinion of you is inaccurate to you. I'm confident in my capability to accurately perceive and interpret your actions, I know derision and belittling when I encounter them. So don't feel sorry. I'm just fine in that regard.

I haven't given up hoping that someone will get through to you, or that you'll be willing to allow someone to. When and if I do give up, I likely won't give up on speaking out, because it benefits those who feel uncomfortable and aren't yet confident in their own assessment of discomfort. You act how you act. It is not kindness. You are not a victim here. You are the one victimizing. You have at every moment the choice and the opportunity to stop doing it. I hope you'll take that option. As I've said before, you have value, I'd like to be able to enjoy it free of things like post 6, and so many more aggressions nearly every day. I am not attacking you, @autumnal, you attack others, just as you did on this thread, with zero provocation, and I am repeatedly appealing to you -- with reason, not abasement -- to stop.



Edit: I'm willing to concede there is a gray area with regard to post 6. It's when taken in a larger context of consistent shaming and negation that it's difficult to believe you were intending to let off a little steam with some humor. Humor can be also used to shame, or to get someone back in line. I've done it myself. In the larger context of how you express yourself on the forum, it wasn't "I'm laughing with you," or "I'm laughing at all of us because we're so adorably serious," in this particular thread it was "I'm laughing at what you presented and even followed up by presenting the fear and intent behind it."

I've said many times I am not perfect. I know that criticism is a magnet for both deserved and undeserved criticism, rather than the constructive purpose I have at heart: a focus on consistently demeaning and negating treatment in the form of comments, graphics, and memes, with a goal for all of us to bring value to one another, which in many ways you can and do. (And sometimes humor is of great value, depending on both when and how it is presented.)
 
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aminend

aminend

Warlock
May 24, 2020
747
I'm here to sure my plan is good enough. I'm serious and I'm not here for fun and joking. Death is a complex and hard thing. There is not any easy thing in this regard. We have to accept its hardness. I estimated 30 days later to do my plan.
I don't know enough about what will happen after using 15 g phenobarbital.
Thank you for all constructive feedbacks
 
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D

Diablox

Member
May 25, 2020
15
I'm here to sure my plan is good enough. I'm serious and I'm not here for fun and joking. Death is a complex and hard thing. There is not any easy thing in this regard. We have to accept its hardness. I estimated 30 days later to do my plan.
I don't know enough about what will happen after using 15 g phenobarbital.
Thank you for all constructive feedbacks
Aminend is there a possibility we could have a chat? I think we have so much similarity regarding loving life and something negative occured, which caused health issues that make our life a living hell. I am also young (26 years old). My life got stolen by medical failure(brain injury). I loved life, like all the small things, this beautiful world and my environment. And now it's living hell, everyday is a battle.

also wanted to ask advise how you got cyanide. I tried everything to get it. please give your advise privately in a pm.

i just created this account 2 days ago, now having 5 post i could sent pm's. Maybe we can have a chat in the future buddy. Thank you. Have a good day
 
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autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
I never claimed academic superiority but qualification. You are the one to tried to place me in a position of inferiority -- to PN.

@autumnal, it doesn't matter who goes againstwhat you say and do, nor how they approach it, nor how many people say the exact same things about how you treat others and entreat you to change your approach. It is generally your approach to respond that they misinterpret, or they are somehow as in need of correction as those they speak to defend. You are never, ever wrong, and even if you admit to perhaps having been in error, someone else is still simultaneously wrong and/or you're still justified from a different stance.

I am not attacking you as a person. I am not coming at you with torches and pitchforks and saying to get the fuck off the forum. I am calling out repetitive, cyclic abusive actions, and evasive actions that, to you, support the rightness of every petty, demeaning, and belittling action directed at others.

I spoke out because I'm fed up with the behavior. I spoke out because when I see you smack down an undeserving other, it hurts and pisses me off to the point that I might as well be taking part in it if I don't speak up.

I have dealt with taking responsibility for my thoughts and emotions in response to how you act on this forum. Whatever mods allow, I have no control over. I cannot control you. I recognized I have two options. The first is to speak up and to step up. The second is to accept that this has had no effect, to accept, and to ignore for my own well-being. That second one is a challenge. Sure, I feel better if I don't see it happening, but lots of folks still feel like crap for getting treated so disdainfully, and for having witnessed the disdainful treatment of others. So I'll see about the second option.

I could give a flip if you ignore me. We don't PM. I publicly address your public actions. And you're not the only one I'm talking to when I do. What you don't hear -- what you acknowledge yet consistently shrug off in a variety of defense moves -- are the many different people who have all tried to get through to you, to respectfully ask you to stop treating others as you do, to appeal to your reason, to appeal to your compassion.

My opinion of you is inaccurate to you. I'm confident in my capability to accurately perceive and interpret your actions, I know derision and belittling when I encounter them. So don't feel sorry. I'm just fine in that regard.

I haven't given up hoping that someone will get through to you, or that you'll be willing to allow someone to. When and if I do give up, I likely won't give up on speaking out, because it benefits those who feel uncomfortable and aren't yet confident in their own assessment of discomfort. You act how you act. It is not kindness. You are not a victim here. You are the one victimizing. You have at every moment the choice and the opportunity to stop doing it. I hope you'll take that option. As I've said before, you have value, I'd like to be able to enjoy it free of things like post 6, and so many more aggressions nearly every day. I am not attacking you, @autumnal, you attack others, just as you did on this thread, with zero provocation, and I am repeatedly appealing to you -- with reason, not abasement -- to stop.



Edit: I'm willing to concede there is a gray area with regard to post 6. It's when taken in a larger context of consistent shaming and negation that it's difficult to believe you were intending to let off a little steam with some humor. Humor can be also used to shame, or to get someone back in line. I've done it myself. In the larger context of how you express yourself on the forum, it wasn't "I'm laughing with you," or "I'm laughing at all of us because we're so adorably serious," in this particular thread it was "I'm laughing at what you presented and even followed up by presenting the fear and intent behind it."

I've said many times I am not perfect. I know that criticism is a magnet for both deserved and undeserved criticism, rather than the constructive purpose I have at heart: a focus on consistently demeaning and negating treatment in the form of comments, graphics, and memes, with a goal for all of us to bring value to one another, which in many ways you can and do. (And sometimes humor is of great value, depending on both when and how it is presented.)

Just for clarification, the 'Ignore' feature is not related to private messages, it involves hiding the visibility of post content from a specified user. As such, it would involve my no longer seeing your posts, with the intention of disengaging from the attacks therein.

Seriously, why would you belittle someone for Perceived fear or SI. No clue if it is true or not, but it is a huge underlying current here. Upon reflection, do you feel this comment is appropriate?

Autumnal seems to give some of the best info here, and by best I mean backed up with literature. Your last paragraph is a direct attack under a transparent and insincere guise of offering to help.

Thank you for addressing this. It was one aspect (of the many personal attacks in their posts) that I had forgotten to address. It certainly takes a very threatened or desperate member to play the card of accusing someone on a suicide forum of not having the bravery to commit suicide!

I would encourage you to report the post in question if you believe it is in breach of the rules.
 
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