Venting How I want my end to be

[deepsweetdiver]

I've been thinking about when I ctb how I want people to react or where I'll be. I'm alone with no friends or lover, but someone is still gonna get hurt by me. If I ctb in a hotel, cleaning crew is gonna have a hell of a time especially if I go by gun, ctb in my dorm and that will probably be the cursed dorm or some shit, but ctb at home and my family will get a disgusting wake up call about me.

I don''t know why I care, I will be unconscious the second the bullet goes thru my brain stem. I don't want to traumatize some cleaning crew. I want my parents to understand how its their fault their mentally ill genes and behavior made an even worse child, but my siblings and nieces don't need an image of my dead body in their heads.

Maybe the forest? But by the time someone notices I'm missing I'll most likely be munched on by birds and stuff. I just need a way out. I don't even know a good method.

 

[Forveleth]

My ideal place would be a forest. Just let nature reclaim me. Alas, I can't get to one. Nice of you to consider sparing others from your mess.