Discussion How high is your will to live?

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe this is a really obvious question but how important do you suppose the will to live is to either recovering or CTB? I'm not really refering to survival instinct here (although- I suppose it could be connected.) I mean something more contemplative- your lust for life as it were.

I think it's very important. I think if the will to live is gone pretty much- it's very hard to find the motivation to do anything. Everything just seems pointless because it leads to more life- the thing we most want to get away from!

Conversely, I've known people with extremely serious medical conditions. To the point where the doctors don't want to operate but the person has insisted and pulled through. It almost feels like their love, lust and fight for life is what keeps them alive.

Of course- it can also be confusing to people who feel like their best option is to CTB but they also feel a compulsion to live.

I also think that recovery via therapy or medication etc. is likely to be much harder-if you have little will to live-unless there are meds that give you that drive back? I wonder if that's the main difference between the 'normies' and us. It's not that they don't encounter suffering or struggle- most people do. I just think their will to go on is still intact.

I think I have reached a stage where the will is gone. I'm likely to be running on empty now till I feel in a place to be able to CTB.

 

[Rapière]

Moderatly high. Most of the time, I still feel a sense of curiousity about life- both the good, the bad and the ugly parts of this cosmic game. But what's keeping me from offing myself is that I have no will to die whatsoever. It might just be a lack of motivation due to my anhedonia, but it could also be rooted in the feeling of having lived an incomplete life. I've missed out on the most vital experiences that give meaning and value to one's existence: friendship, foeship, love, self-reliance, and so on, making it difficult to just call it a day, y'know.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never had any desire to exist in this world. I see existence as being something so unappealing and it's just something that I despise. Life is not for everyone and I just see it as being something so burdensome having to exist, like I find it tiring just being aware of this world and I don't want to suffer in any way. My thoughts of suicide are just a natural response to existing in this world, in no way could any of this ever be worth it, and I wish for all this to be forgotten about like I never existed at all.

 

[TAW122]

I have no desire to live, but because of the survival instinct (not something I can completely shut off but can suppress but not completely either) I would answer 25%. I think if I can temporarily suppress it near zero or zero temporarily then I could go through with my means of CTB. Though then again, I probably don't need to fully suppress it or have 0% to actually CTB, but enough such that my will to die far exceeds the will to live.

As of now, I'm still waiting for the right circumstance and time before I go through with it and with the right catalyst(s) I would be able to CTB.

 

[theboy]

50% life
50% death

 

[Zegers]

99.9% just like SN purity

 

[WorthlessTrash]

25% only because of SI and guilt. However, I know I am better off dead since I cannot have the life or body that I want.

 

[fuzzy-clown]

I would say 25% because there are beautiful things in this world, a few of which I have experienced. The problem is that due to mental illness, I can no longer sustain those things. I have a bleak outlook on what the rest of my life would be like.

 

[Dead Horse]

No will to live, just fear of death for me.

 

[vultureilse]

my desire to continue living my own life is nearly nonexistent, ive already accepted that itll never be worth living though i wish i could live a different life. like just restart as a completely different person and experience life without trauma and mental illness

 

[Damnation]

I think the will to live is essential for recovery, but I'm living proof that there are plenty of other things that can keep someone alive too. The guilt of hurting people is certainly a big one, and the fear of a painful death is another.

I doubt I have ever had a will to live, except maybe when I was a child, but I only say that because I can't remember. I've been chronically depressed my while life, regardless of circumstances. Nothing happened to trigger it, that's just how I am. I find this world utterly uninspiring. I don't care for anything this world has to offer, and the few things I do enjoy are not worth the effort of enduring all of the bullshit needed to fit in and survive in this world. I'd rather live in a cartoon, and I don't care if that's childish or unrealistic. Doesn't change the fact that I don't want to be here.

But... maybe the desire to live somewhere else still counts as a will to live? I don't know. The kind of world I want to live in is impossible unless something like magic or heaven exists, so I'm not counting that as a real will to live. It's not like I can apply those desires to reality.

 

[BoomBang101]

I think you put it best... I'm just "running on empty" at this point. I'm able to do it because I've become so accustomed to this dry, pointless, dehydrated version of life, but I certainly don't want to.

This world houses unimaginable horrors. I definitely agree that will to live is very important. It's certainly not a given.

 

[Zegers]

99.9% just like SN purity

My will to live faded. I misread the title as "how high is your will to die" that's why Ii put 99.9%. In this case i would answer that range between 1% and zero.

 

[Source Energy]

25%. There is a small part of me that wants to move to another city, start a new career, learn something new, get toned up at the gym, read the many books on my list. Then I remember:no matter where I go, I would still be me, and I will never be happy. I will never be happy among humans either, the mean ones totally ruin my enjoyment of life. This world is too cruel for someone like me. So the best thing would be to end it.