Discussion How has mental illness affected your personality?

[Apathy's Girl]

My memory is constantly failing me. I'm not as articulate as I was before.

I don't know if my memory is failing because of being bipolar or because of my meds but my long term memory is shot.

 

[NodusTollens]

This is a good question. I think about it sometimes.

I've developed a personality disorder, (BPD) so I don't know- where do I start & my trauma begin? I suppose I'd always been sad (know now it's was depression) & that I was afraid of most things (GAD, anxiety), but I feel it was in addition to how I was raised. The two disorders, I feel, are the result of being afraid to speak in my home & the physical ramifications that ensued. The one person who could stop it was gone all the time, so I suppose there's the abandonment.

 

[Skathon]

It has not, for it is the core of my personality (both of my neurological diseases are inborn).

 

[Nymph]

My mental illness is basically my personality, there's nothing from my original personality left because I've been consumed by my mental illnesses. I'm shy, introverted, don't like to talk, mature.. oh wait never mind, it's actually because I have anxiety and depression, I don't act like regular people and go to parties (therefore I'm mature apparently) because I'm depressed...I don't talk because I'm anxious about what people will think of what I say...oh but it's just that I'm shy

 

[Good4Nothing]

This is a good question. I think about it sometimes.

I've developed a personality disorder, (BPD) so I don't know- where do I start & my trauma begin? I suppose I'd always been sad (know now it's was depression) & that I was afraid of most things (GAD, anxiety), but I feel it was in addition to how I was raised. The two disorders, I feel, are the result of being afraid to speak in my home & the physical ramifications that ensued. The one person who could stop it was gone all the time, so I suppose there's the abandonment.

Same.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Made me become a pessimistic, cynical, alcoholic misanthrope.

 

[hellodarkness]

Schizophrenia so I no longer have a great grasp on what is or is not real. I have gotten mired in things I haven't studied since college (mostly biblical stuff) whilst I've lost a lot of my drive in things that I actually need to develop in professionally. I have very little emotional control off Klonopin now to the point where, if I'm a couple hours late I am afraid of myself. It has fundamentally fucked me up.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

Schizophrenia so I no longer have a great grasp on what is or is not real. I have gotten mired in things I haven't studied since college (mostly biblical stuff) whilst I've lost a lot of my drive in things that I actually need to develop in professionally. I have very little emotional control off Klonopin now to the point where, if I'm a couple hours late I am afraid of myself. It has fundamentally fucked me up.

i am so sorry. this sounds super tough to deal with.

I don't know if my memory is failing because of being bipolar or because of my meds but my long term memory is shot.

same. i feel like i have lost my memories and the things i can remember are slightly obscured behind a foggy veil.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't remember, my mental problems deleted my memories. Even before that, it was filled with other mental problems.

 

[Donk]

I wish I had a personality. I'm just plain and boring.

 

[stygal]

Yes, but on the other hand I only was completely free of mental illnesses before the age of 10 so I can't really tell the difference anymore.

It's definitely not getting better and contributes to me feeling like crap 24/7. On top of physical stuff I also have: OCD, anxiety while being in crowds,with dogs or strange men, depression, PTSD.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I don't remember, my mental problems deleted my memories. Even before that, it was filled with other mental problems.

that is exactly what i was saying!

 

[Wrennie]

Depression and CPTSD stemming from childhood trauma made me incredibly reclusive and reliant upon my parents. My parents, being emotionally abusive control-freaks, then used their influence over me to back me into a corner and use my resulting mental illness as further justification for their actions toward me.

If I were mentally healthy like my brother I'd like to believe I could've escaped from my parents clutches and experienced true health and happiness. But as of now I have zero energy, zero drive, and am an all-around empty husk of a human being. Mental illness can irreparably destroy a person's life and warp their personality into something unrecognizable... I'm often haunted by the idea of what my personality could've been like had I not been so thoroughly screwed over by life.

 

[Vault of Memories]

I generally tend to isolate myself quite often and my anxiety when I was younger gave me the odd feeling that no one, even people who I considered friends, wanted to be associated with me. When people would meet me I assumed their first impression of me was that they hated me.

 

[Water-Lily]

My BPD makes me a depressed and suicidal monster who can't really survive

Depression and CPTSD stemming from childhood trauma made me incredibly reclusive and reliant upon my parents. My parents, being emotionally abusive control-freaks, then used their influence over me to back me into a corner and use my resulting mental illness as further justification for their actions toward me.

If I were mentally healthy like my brother I'd like to believe I could've escaped from my parents clutches and experienced true health and happiness. But as of now I have zero energy, zero drive, and am an all-around empty husk of a human being. Mental illness can irreparably destroy a person's life and warp their personality into something unrecognizable... I'm often haunted by the idea of what my personality could've been like had I not been so thoroughly screwed over by life.

I relate. Abused physically and psychologically by my mom to the point where she told me to commit suicide because burdens her. And when I had almost attempted she blamed me

 

[greebo6]

Endless depression kills the real you from within. You become someone/something else. Just a poor shadow of what you used to be or what you really are.
Its cruel.

 

[sufferingalways]

my mood disorder cost me jobs and relationships bc it affected my personality. i was ok (kinda) 2/3 of my life. then, severe trauma set it off and additional traumatic events escalated it even further. now, i basically have no friends after all of this. no one likes me bc of my personality/mood disorder.

Hi I'm with you on the trauma sadly and also additional traumatic painful events.
Extra trauma here is caused by landlord abusing me / and house pal. What's causing yours?
hugs xx

 

[iwanttodie000]

My depression and anxiety is what is going to put me in the ground. I've battled it my whole life, sometimes it's been worse than others. But it's always there and my suicidal thoughts and ideation are always there. I spend many times when I'm alone going out of my mind and when I am around people, just fake it with a smile. I don't have any idea who I am anymore. It's taken my soul, my purpose. I am a shell of any person I ever was and it's torture. I have good days here and there, but what people don't understand is even if I'm "having a good time" which is rare, even then, the thoughts are there. The worthlessness, the constant wish to just release all these thoughts and die. I hope when I ctb, I go back to what I was before I existed, the black abyss of nothingness and peace. Anyone who fights depression is a warrior, but we all can only take so much. Here's hoping I get to close the book and end my story soon. Peace to us all.

 

[oneanonymous]

I honestly like the way mental illness has changed my personality for the most part, but I hate the way it affects some of my behavior. I don't think the two are exactly the same thing.
I'm funnier, far less judgmental, more insightful, a better listener, etc. I'm still not a miserable person to be around, even if I am miserable. I guess I just don't like bringing people down with me.
But anxiety has also me more paranoid and less trusting, less dependable, made me more reclusive and stop responding to people.
It's made me absolutely hate my life, but somehow made me oddly more likeable.. too bad I've now completely stopped hanging out with people.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No. I did not have a personality to begin with.

 

[Symbiote]

I lash out more, can't handle criticisms without going on a rampage and when I try to apply reason or logic, it always comes out as a convoluted mess. I also think I'm getting dumber by the month as this continues on.

 

[Natty]

I lash out more, can't handle criticisms without going on a rampage and when I try to apply reason or logic, it always comes out as a convoluted mess. I also think I'm getting dumber by the month as this continues on.

I also feel like I am getting dumber. I know the stress is affecting my faculties. I used to be a quick learner, quick witted, etc, now I sturggle focusing on anything and it leads to further frustration.

I'd like to see a study on constant stress hormones affect on the mind and body. I know it's worse than smoking, but I wonder how bad the mental degradation can get.

I can also relate to the anger, mine has become unfortunately uncontrollable and even though I am able to recognize it and tr to work on the people around me refuse to help until things have degraded to the point I can't repair myself.

 

[Blue Rose]

Somewhat, but not so much. I could feel some minor changes of my mental, but that was all.

 

[clown_17]

It's damaged me to the point where I have none left. I just stare and pass time. I used to have opinions and hobbies but now I've lost anything that made me me. I don't even have motivation anymore.

 

[Dear Agony]

Well considering my whole personality is likely 2 or more disorders... Basically my whole personality are symptoms lol.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I've given up.

I don't even want to get "better" at this point.

My path has been chosen.

Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?

It's damaged me to the point where I have none left. I just stare and pass time. I used to have opinions and hobbies but now I've lost anything that made me me. I don't even have motivation anymore.

What is motivation?

 

[Irrelevant biologist]

I've given up.

I don't even want to get "better" at this point.

My path has been chosen.

Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?

What is motivation?

I have tried so hard for so long to get better and it has never worked and I'm just simply out of breath. I told my husband tonight that I feel like nothingness. He doesn't seem to care. Why are we here??

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think I've ever had much of a personality really. I was born with neurological disorders which have caused me to be the way I am. I guess over time though, I have became more tired of living and had thoughts of ctb more.

 

[electrojellysoup]

It's literally my personality lmao, I have a personality disorder. I've also been mentally ill for most of my life. I'm getting to the point where I don't remember what it's like to have a "healthy" functioning brain anymore, even happy memories of being a dumb kid

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

It's literally my personality lmao, I have a personality disorder. I've also been mentally ill for most of my life. I'm getting to the point where I don't remember what it's like to have a "healthy" functioning brain anymore, even happy memories of being a dumb kid

Same.

Thing is, I've actually reached the point where I don't even want to be "normal" anymore.

I own who/what I am/have become.

Why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?