Help How does one recover from addiction?

[Life_and_Death]

It's not "bad". It could be worse. But I can't do it.

My recent nightmares make me feel trapped. I was talking to my friend about it and... I wasn't really wanting a joint, but my drinking has gone up and I've started smoking kief to hopefully make the nightmares stop to no avail..... I finally told my husband today and I'm going to get more weed today. But I don't feel like rolling one however I need the nightmares to stop....sleeping has become torture, I don't want to close my eyes anymore. I don't know what to do other then keep smoking and I know if I pick it up again I'll be right where I left off not wanting to put it down...


"Moody references his alcoholism and its battles in the video "I Apologize", where Moody is walking through a graveyard filled with musicians that have died struggling with addiction"

 

[LunarPyotr]

Does actually smoking helps you with preventing you from drinking or does it help you to not drink as often as w/o smoking?
I'm not an expert with that but I think in this case smoking will most likely more helpful than drinking. I personally never drank alcohol in my life but I can definitely tell that smoking weed really helped me with masking most of my "negative thoughts"


Pro trick.. If you don't feel like rolling one, buy one of those husks where you just top fill them, use a pen or something to push it tighter together and then you can just smoke them. That's what I've been doing with my joints. Those helped me with my recovery because I also feel most of the times like I just don't want to roll one but then things just get worse :/
I personally recommend those here

If you have trouble with lighting it or like me, just begin to smoke the filter at some point, put a bit of tobacco on the bottom and top ;)
This just made things easier 4 me
Here's an example

 

[Life_and_Death]

Does actually smoking helps you with preventing you from drinking or does it help you to not drink as often as w/o smoking?
I'm not an expert with that but I think in this case smoking will most likely more helpful than drinking. I personally never drank alcohol in my life but I can definitely tell that smoking weed really helped me with masking most of my "negative thoughts"

Originally my husband started buying it for me because it helped people with their depression. However at the time we didn't know it went deeper then just depression (bpd ect). So getting high (if I don't do it just right) makes things worse. Example I'm currently on meds that keep voices away, well weed brings them back.

 

[LunarPyotr]

Originally my husband started buying it for me because it helped people with their depression. However at the time we didn't know it went deeper then just depression (bpd ect). So getting high (if I don't do it just right) makes things worse. Example I'm currently on meds that keep voices away, well weed brings them back.

Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Did you experience the same thing with alc. ?
I never knew that cannabis could just make it look like, you never took the meds to begin with.
One thing I know, is that cannabis makes the world spin if you smoke it after taking some pills that help people who have PTSD.
Experienced this with one guy who was lurking here and well, he wanted to try weed if it helps and the whole thing kinda backfired. According to him, it was kinda like getting strong headache while just filling yourself up with Jack Daniels

 

[Life_and_Death]

Did you experience the same thing with alc. ?

If I don't have a constant distraction (which is damn near impossible with an attention problem) I can become depressed but that's about it. Besides I don't want to be drunk all the time. which would mean drinking A LOT. I have a low tolerance because I'm sensitive to meds ect so I dont have to drink much however I can watch myself sober in about 30mins (I timed it) and needing another quarter of a bottle. (1 liter of Bacardi breezer) don't drink as much of the hard stuff but it's still the same concept. Keeping to my preferred drink that would get expensive quick ($20 a bottle). Oh and I rarely get a hangover. No more then 2 or 3 (below 5) in the years I've drank, 16-21.

I use to mostly just drink half a bottle plus a joint on weekends, and lately I've been drinking the whole bottle on weekends with a second bottle throughout the week when my husband is out of the room.

I have a feeling alcohol shouldn't be go to. I'm having trouble hiding it as is and am already in debt to my savings.

 

[LunarPyotr]

@Life_and_Death I see. I personally think that the whole alcohol thing won't be really good for the long run. People get used to their usual amount and then keep going up with the amount of the alc they drink.

 

[Life_and_Death]

@Life_and_Death I see. I personally think that the whole alcohol thing won't be really good for the long run. People get used to their usual amount and then keep going up with the amount of the alc they drink.

That's probably part of the reason why I've started drinking the whole bottle

I'm sure you're seeing the problem in general with my addiction problems. Breaking my sugar addiction was easier then this. Of course it wasn't giving me nightmares where I'm getting raped or in the case of my more recent one, playing with my phobias.

Maybe if I didn't have problems for the nightmares to play off of it wouldn't be so bad but I do.

I'd go to rehab but the only one in town my stepdad works at and so does my friend. My friend isn't quite as big of a problem, the only problem there is my husband however I hope for that to not be a problem soon. The bigger problem is my stepdad who... Let's just say like father like son and his father just got out of jail sooo. Not as bad as his father but not the point. I'm sure you (roughly) understand.

This reminds me of that song by ozzy. He was going through horrible withdrawl and in the video you see his SO hugging him until it stops.

 

[TriggerHappy]

hiya.
i guess i'm the last one to give advice - but have spent 25 years using & recovering & then using sum more...
my observation is that you are mindfucking the whole experience: try be gentle with yourself.
figuring out how much you using vs why you using will never be solved:
you use because it feels good.
attempts to control will give you the illusion of control
life on life's terms will give you excuses why you need to use / drink
<< to not care :: to not feel >>
trying to figure out your dreams will only confound you - acknowledge them
and make peace with them being a bit mad 'cos you're going through stuff.
the moment i hold off i get sick (withdrawal & dementia) last time i tried to clean up i stole a car from the rehab i was so out of it. thank fuck they didn't press charges.

what's helping me is focussing on guided meditation (youtube has awesome recovery ones)
and doing stuff that keeps me away from what it is that i want.
online 'just for today' is awesome new recovery site... thinking /programming.
and even if i'm skyhigh i go to online meetings N.A / A.A

be gentle with yourself - it seems like you're a perfectionist that doesn't want to burden people.
burden people that will understand.
it will set you free.

it's hard but you aint alone....

my 10cents of advice (that i should take myself!) that comes with love & respect :: XM!GS

 

[Luna77]

It's not "bad". It could be worse. But I can't do it.

My recent nightmares make me feel trapped. I was talking to my friend about it and... I wasn't really wanting a joint, but my drinking has gone up and I've started smoking kief to hopefully make the nightmares stop to no avail..... I finally told my husband today and I'm going to get more weed today. But I don't feel like rolling one however I need the nightmares to stop....sleeping has become torture, I don't want to close my eyes anymore. I don't know what to do other then keep smoking and I know if I pick it up again I'll be right where I left off not wanting to put it down...


"Moody references his alcoholism and its battles in the video "I Apologize", where Moody is walking through a graveyard filled with musicians that have died struggling with addiction"

I can relate, all I feel like doing is rolling jays. makes me miserable & content at the same time. Don't know how to stop. or if I want to try to face my life without it. Except to just ctb. Maybe there's weed in the afterlife..